


Wild and Young

by Hidge



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Confused Tobin, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Love Triangles, high school parties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-01-05 03:09:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 44,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hidge/pseuds/Hidge
Summary: It turned out that Tobin Heath was totally into that whole good girl thing.-----Tobin thought that Alex Morgan was the only girl that she could ever want, and then she got to know Christen Press.





	1. We went from one conversation...

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written for a fandom like this before so here it goes I guess... 
> 
> This idea just wouldn't go away.

“Tobin, I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.”

Tobin stared into her cup of beer before she looked up at Kelley with an arched eyebrow. She knew exactly what her friend was doing with this dare. Kelley was giving her an opportunity. An opportunity to _not_ pick Alex; an opportunity to pick anyone but Alex.

Now in her senior year, she had spent the majority of high school picking Alex in these kinds of situations. Alex was used to being the prettiest girl in the room, the person that people wanted to kiss at parties, both boys and girls. Alex was used to people being a little enamoured with her, Tobin Heath included.

Just a glance at Alex out of her peripheral vision told her that Alex was subtly preparing to be kissed. She shifted her feet and pulled all of her long brown hair over one shoulder while glancing at Tobin coyly.

And so she should be expectant, for just days ago Tobin had told her that she wanted to be more than just friends. She wanted to kiss Alex whenever she wanted, not just during party games or when Alex was feeling a little drunk and a lot clingy. But Alex had rejected her, nicely and politely. It still hurt. Fresh and raw, like new turf burn, and an uncomfortable sinking feeling in the bottom of her stomach, and yet she couldn’t think about anything other than kissing Alex in this moment.

“Come on, Heath!” Someone around the table called. “Make a decision!”

Kelley tilted her head hopefully and held her gaze with a meaningful stare.

Tobin looked around the packed house, trying to find anyone worth kissing, someone that she could play off as being the most attractive person at the party. She had almost committed to kissing Allie, knowing that it would make her laugh, when she spotted a girl standing on the other side of the room, leaning against the kitchen counter with a shy smile.

And boy was she pretty.

She was tall and slender with long, dark hair flowing over her shoulders and smooth looking caramel skin. She was wearing these black boots that Tobin instantly liked, with black skinny jeans and a cream coloured sweater. Her outfit was definitely conservative for a house party, but it fit her in all of the right places, and, honestly, made Tobin’s throat a little dry.

What was most intriguing was that Tobin did not recognize her, and there was no way that she would have missed this girl walking down the hallway. That could only mean that she didn’t go their school.

“I’ll be right back,” she croaked.

Tobin knew that several pairs of eyes were tracking her as she pushed her way through throngs of people in order to get to the other side of the kitchen. She reached her destination and downed the remaining contents of her cup before she spoke.

“Hi.”

The mystery girl turned her head and somehow, she was even prettier up close. “Hi,” she answered with a sweet smile.

“Uh, hi, I’m Tobin.”

Smooth, Heath. Very smooth.

The girl just kept smiling at her and it was a ridiculously pretty smile – white teeth, squinty eyes and nose, just enough of an overbite that it looked like she was biting on her bottom lip in the cutest way.

Tobin cleared her throat and adjusted the snapback on her head before she searched for the remnants of her usually flawless flirting game. “So I’m Tobin,” she started again, “and I was just dared to kiss the hottest person in the room.”

The intimidatingly pretty girl was still smiling, but her expression had definitely changed to something closer to confusion. “I’m Christen,” she replied slowly. “Do you want me to introduce you to my friend, Julie?”

The blonde at Christen’s elbow, who Tobin now assumed was Julie, laughed boisterously and leaned in to whisper not so discreetly. “She’s talking about you, Chrissy, not me!”

Christen blushed and looked at Tobin from underneath long eyelashes. “Oh. You want to kiss me for this dare?”

Before Tobin could respond, the blonde playfully pushed Christen forward and Tobin caught her with both hands on her waist. “Only if you want me to,” she murmured as she brought their faces closer together.

Christen nodded timidly and she was the one to close the final gap between them.

Their lips pressed together fairly chastely, it was a kiss that probably lasted no more than ten seconds, but Tobin’s fingers still tightened on her slim waist. Christen had nice lips, because of course she did, and the lip gloss she was wearing tasted like watermelon.

Tobin licked her bottom lip, a devious grin pulling at the side of her mouth. Christen stayed close, their noses almost touching and her soft pants brushing over Tobin’s face.

“There’s a really pretty girl over there glaring at me,” Christen whispered. “Should I be worried?”

Tobin had actually forgotten all about Alex for a moment.

“Oh, no, definitely not. She’s not my girlfriend or anything.”

Christen looked relieved by that piece of information and it made Tobin smile broadly. She found her usual brand of self-confidence as she took two steps forward and it resulted in the pretty dark-haired girl being pressed against the kitchen counter, with Tobin’s hands on her hips. Her blonde friend had conveniently disappeared, which Tobin really appreciated. She definitely wanted this lovely girl all to herself.

“And I would like to kiss you again.”

Christen’s pretty eyes fluttered and it was hard to tell if they were grey or green in this lighting, and her cheeks flushed. Tobin liked that her features were soft even though she had sculpted cheekbones and a sharp jawline.

How could one girl be _this_ pretty?

After delicately biting on her bottom lip, Christen looped her arms around Tobin’s shoulders and pulled her in so that their bodies were flush together. Tobin could feel Christen’s belt digging into her abdomen and the fabric of her sweater against her bare forearms. And she smelled _so_ good, all floral and feminine and nothing like the smell of booze, sweat, and cigarettes that permeated the rest of the house. 

Their second kiss was definitely less chaste and nervous. Tobin allowed Christen to get used to the pace of the kiss before she swept her tongue along her bottom lip, getting another taste of watermelon lip gloss. Christen gasped and Tobin knew that she was granted permission to slip her tongue inside when Christen’s hands found the nape of her neck and tugged eagerly.

Her name was Christen Press. She was a Junior at Chadwick. She played tennis, and loved dogs, and was taking AP courses. She was a phenomenal kisser, but she was not the kind of girl that made out with people at parties. She said it while she blushed and stammered so Tobin knew that it wasn’t a façade. She wasn’t trying to play innocent; she _was_ innocent.

And it turned out that Tobin Heath was totally into that whole good girl thing.

They moved into the living room where they sat on the couch and talked a lot more, and kissed some more.

Christen giggled softly as Tobin nipped behind her ear and traced circles into the denim of her jeans, her hand respectably sitting just above her knee.

“I think I like you,” Tobin whispered.

Christen’s hands sat on Tobin’s forearms, her short nails digging into skin. “I think you like kissing me.”

“I _know_ I like kissing you,” she grinned. “Do you like kissing me?” She inquired boldly.

Christen opened her mouth to respond when they were interrupted by Kelley O’Hara’s voice.

“Tobs! We’re leaving!”

Tobin looked up at her with wide eyes and swollen lips. “What?” She asked dumbly. “Leaving?”

Kelley, the designated driver for the night, smirked as she twirled her car keys around her index finger. “Yeah, Allie is a lot drunk. We should get her home.”

“Oh. Okay.” Tobin nodded slowly as she reluctantly removed her hands from Christen’s body. “I guess we should go then.”

Tobin could see that Kelley was giving her a very pointed look, but she had no idea what it meant.

Eventually, Kelley just sighed and got to the point. “Tobin, aren’t you going to ask your new friend for her number?”

Tobin could have kissed Kelley right then and there. She was a lifesaver.

She turned back to Christen with a small smile. “Would that be okay? If I had your number?”

Christen smiled back, with that stupidly pretty smile, and held her hand out, palm up.

Tobin left the party with Christen’s number in her phone and a satisfied grin on her face. She slipped into the back of Kelley’s car with a very drunk Allie, and the blonde immediately wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Allie placed a loud, sloppy kiss on her cheek and Tobin just laughed as the smell of way too much tequila washed over her.

“How was your night, Harry?” Allie asked with overdramatically suggestive eyebrows.

“It was good,” she answered simply.

“And who’s the hottie?” Allie pressed as Kelley pulled out into the street.

“Her name is Christen. She goes to Chadwick.”

“So she’s stuck up?” Alex chimed in from the passenger seat.

Tobin furrowed her brow in annoyance. Really? That was the first thing Alex had to say?

“She’s really sweet actually,” she corrected.

“And smokin’,” Allie added with a whistle.

“And Toby got her number,” Kelley sing-songed as she came to a stop at a red light.

Allie squealed in delight. “So you’re going to call her?”

“Obviously!” Kelley exclaimed at the same time that Alex scoffed, “Of course not. It was just a stupid dare.”

Tobin made eye contact with Kelley in the rear-view mirror and frowned. She didn’t understand Alex’s reaction – jealous and petty like Christen was a rival on the soccer field. Alex had no right to be jealous because she had made their relationship status abundantly clear. They were friends, nothing more. Alex had told her that she liked kissing girls but she wasn’t interested in dating them, and even if she was, Tobin wasn’t the “relationship type”. Those had been her exact words and Tobin had taken them to heart. Tobin wasn’t against relationships, she just wanted a relationship with the right person. 

Tobin was quiet for the rest of the drive home. She let Allie rest on her shoulder and she helped get the girl into her house. She offered a murmured, half-hearted goodbye when Alex exited the car, and then it was just her and Kelley.

“Don’t let her do that,” Kelley stated sternly.

“Do what?” Tobin questioned as she ran a hand through her hair.

“Let her act like she gets to make these decisions for you. She’s just pissed that you ignored her for the title of hottest person in the room.”

Tobin could see Kelley roll her eyes, but it didn’t make her chuckle like it normally would.

“Look, Tobs,” Kelley continued, “she’s jealous because someone else held your attention all night. If you like this girl then call her tomorrow. It really seemed like you were hitting it off. Don’t let Alex ruin it.”

Tobin frowned as she looked out the car window. Easier said than done apparently.


	2. If we're being honest...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ presses Christen for details before she talks to Tobin again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback! Here's the second chapter.

Christen awoke to her best friend poking her in the side. “It’s morning now so you have to tell me about the girl!”

She cringed at her friend’s excitement and reluctantly rolled onto her side to come face to face with Julie’s wide eyes and bright smile. If she had to guess, she would bet that the blonde had awoken early and had been waiting for first sunlight to stream into the room. Christen had never seen her friend so interested in her interactions with someone as she had been last night; she had practically beamed when they had been approached by a stranger with an odd request. 

Christen had managed to avoid Julie’s pestering questions and had compromised by saying that they could talk in the morning just so she could go to sleep. She should have known that Julie would be impatient for this conversation to start. It wasn’t exactly common for her to go around making out with girls she didn’t know. In fact, it had been a first.

“JJ,” Christen croaked. “Let me wake up, please.”

“But I’ve already been waiting so long! You wouldn’t tell me anything last night.”

Christen rolled her eyes at her dramatics, but she settled on her back, prepared to give up some information, but not everything. A smile involuntarily crossed her face as she reflected on the events of the night before.

_Tobin Heath_.

She didn’t go to a lot of parties, but Zach, Julie’s boyfriend, had gotten invited and Julie had dragged her along for company so that she wasn’t stuck just hanging out with Zach’s football friends. She felt like she had been simply minding her own business when she had been approached by a girl in ripped jeans, a white t-shirt, and a red snapback. She had been confident and charming, and so, so cute. Big, wide, captivating smile and deep brown eyes.

Christen had only recently come to the realization that she was attracted to girls and yet she thought that Tobin was exactly her type. A little cocky, but a tad goofy. Relaxed and casual demeanour – a direct contrast to Christen’s intense, type A personality. An aura that was a little mischievous, hinting at trouble. Muscled and athletic. She liked Tobin’s long hair, and soft lips, and eager hands.

So, she really liked girls.

“I gave her my number,” she confessed shyly.

JJ practically squealed and kicked her feet beneath the bed covers in excitement. “This is so exciting, Chris! Your first girl number!”

Christen blushed in embarrassment and turned her head to press her face into her pillow. She had inconvenient butterflies in her stomach like she had when Eric Kowaiski asked if he could eat lunch with her in the seventh grade.

She hadn’t gotten to this point without realizing that the infatuations and interests that she had shown in certain female classmates, teammates, and strangers over the years were romantic curiosity, and dare she say, crushes. But this was different because it had been undeniably reciprocated. Tobin had walked up to her, called her the ‘hottest person in the room’, and asked to kiss her. She had never in her life felt as attractive as she had last night with Tobin’s hands in her hair and tongue in her mouth.

“But what about Bram?” Julie asked apprehensively.

Christen frowned and pursed her lips. “I’m not sure,” she murmured. “He broke up with me,” she continued, “said he just wants to be friends again.”

Bram was her neighbour, friend, and now ex-boyfriend. They had dated for over a year before he told her that he wanted to take the rest of his senior year to focus on school and extracurriculars, and get ready for the year ahead. He was going to Yale in the fall so she understood his decision, but it still hurt. Did he think that she wasn’t able to be supportive? Did he think that she wasn’t able to put aside her own goals to spend time with him? Did he think that she wasn’t worth spending with? 

Being rejected hurt – even if it had been two months ago.

She still thought about it sometimes because he was smart, sweet, polite. Everything that she had always pictured for her boyfriend.

They fit together, right?

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Girls? Breakfast is ready.”

Christen smiled as she heard her mother’s voice, and she and Julie took turns in the bathroom before heading downstairs to the kitchen. Christen greeted her dogs before taking a seat at the table, where her little sister, Tyler, was already digging into her pancakes.

“How was your night?” Tyler asked eagerly.

Julie grinned widely while Christen merely shrugged. “It was good.”

The Presses weren’t very strict when it came to her social life. They thought that she spent too much time by herself. So as long as she studied hard, continued to get good grades, and worked hard on the tennis court, her parents encouraged her to go to parties with Julie and her other best friend, Crystal. As long as she didn’t come home drunk or high, of course.

“It was very good,” Julie added teasingly.

Tyler, a freshman in high school, arched an eyebrow in interest. “Very good?”

Christen tried to ignore the silent exchange that Julie and her sister were having, but a smile graced her face without her permission. She smiled just thinking about Tobin and the hat that had sat slightly askew on her head and her dopey smile with thoroughly kissed lips as she had waved goodbye.

Christen definitely believed in signs from the universe. So her breath hitched and her eyes widened when she felt her phone vibrate in her sweats and she pulled it out of her pocket to see that it was an unknown number. She carefully opened the message under the table and read it at least four times before she processed it.

_Hi Christen! It’s Tobin from last night. I hope this is not too early to text you. Do you want to hang out today?_

She thought that just responding with “Yes!” was way too eager, so she wasn’t sure what to say.

She was shocked when her cell phone was plucked out of her hand by her best friend. “JJ!” She gasped.

“What are you staring at?” Julie retorted. She looked down at the phone and squealed. “Christen!”

The noise garnered the attention of the other two Press women in the room.

“What is going on?” Her mother asked with a chuckle.

“I think Chrissy has a crush,” Tyler giggled.

Julie left her house after a lot of excited pep talks and chatter, and then she got ready to meet Tobin at a nearby park. She didn’t put too much thought into her outfit, knowing that it would be covered by her coat. She did grab a black beanie to pull on as she left the house, she found the late fall air to be a little nippy.

It was a short walk, and when she arrived, Tobin was already there with a soccer ball at her feet. She was wearing a beanie as well, with a blue coat and black training pants. Christen approached her with her stomach in knots. Somehow, this was very different than their meeting the night before. The setting and the environment were very different, they had both had a night to process the events, and they had been so distracted by all of the kissing. 

There was no guarantee that there would be any more of that.

“Hi,” she greeted shyly.

Tobin looked up at her with that wide, distracting smile and promptly pulled her into a hug. “Hi! How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you. How are you?”

"Super." Tobin motioned towards a bench and they sat down to continue their conversation, with Tobin still idly dribbling the soccer ball.

They both seemed to quickly realize that there was a touch of awkwardness between them and Tobin chuckled at the same time that Christen giggled. That seemed to spur something in Tobin, she scooted closer and draped her arm along the back of the bench, close to Christen’s shoulders.

“I thought that I was ready,” she began cryptically.

“For what?” Christen asked as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“For how pretty you are.”

Christen blushed and shyly tucked her chin close to her chest. “You are just as charming as I remember,” she retorted.

Tobin grinned as she flipped the soccer ball up and caught it with one hand. “I’m really glad that you answered my text.”

“I’m glad I did too,” she responded genuinely. “But I have to be honest with you.” Tobin’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration but that was the only sign that the conversation had shifted in tone. “I’m not long out of a relationship and it still hurts. I’m still not entirely sure why he ended it and it makes me feel…” She shook her head to clear out the jumbled words. “I’m not sure that it’s the best idea for me to start something new right now.”

She waited anxiously for a response, but Tobin’s easy smile made her sigh in relief.

“That’s okay,” she responded. “In the spirit of honesty, I want to tell you that the girl that you said was glaring at you?” Christen nodded in remembrance. “That’s my friend, Alex, and I’ve kinda had a thing for her for a while.”

Christen gently pulled the soccer ball from Tobin’s grip and tossed it from one hand to the other. She imagined that it wasn’t easy for Tobin to tell her something like that, and she appreciated the candor.

“But she really isn’t into me,” Tobin continued.

“She seemed pretty jealous last night,” Christen commented in a murmur. It was hard to forget how icy that blue-eyed stare had felt even from across the kitchen.

She dropped the ball and balanced it on the top of her right foot, recalling on some of the skills she had learned when she had played soccer as a little kid.

“Do you play?” Tobin asked excitedly. The smile on her face was almost overpowering, it was the kind of smile that spoke of pure joy.

Christen shook her head. “Just a little in the summer. I did all the time when I was little, before I decided to focus on tennis.”

“We should play sometime,” Tobin suggested before she stole the ball from her with a quick move of her left foot.

Christen would gladly agree to that if it kept that smile on Tobin’s face.

She felt strangely pulled to anything that kept the girl across from her smiling, which was maybe why she offered up a completely terrible, asinine idea.

“Want to keep making Alex jealous?”

The next day they met in the park again to finalize the details of their new “relationship”.

Christen, who hated driving, wanted Tobin to pick her up after school so that she no longer had to wait on her parents.

Tobin asked Christen to attend her soccer games.

Christen requested that Friday night be their date night – whether that was going out or staying in – and she agreed to go to the parties that Tobin and her friends were invited to.

Everything else they left open to negotiation, but when Tobin asked with a mischievous grin if they could continue to kiss, Christen leaned forward and pressed their lips together.


	3. This is my mixed tape for her...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is committed to being a really good fake girlfriend.

Tobin raised her head when she felt a balled up napkin bounce off of her cheek. She looked across the lunch table to where Kelley was looking at her with an expression of exasperation.

“I asked you a question, Heath!”

“I wasn’t listening,” she admitted.

Kelley spoke slowly, enunciating each word, “I asked ‘what are you doing?’. You’re totally zoned out,” she added, “like more than usual.”

Tobin looked back down at the app that she was fiddling with on her phone and smiled. “I’m making a playlist on Spotify… for Christen.”

“Ooh,” Allie teased, “_for Christen_.”

Tobin took the teasing in stride and returned to her very important task. She wanted to be a good girlfriend, even if it wasn’t totally real. She wanted to do more than what they had agreed upon, more than picking her up from school and taking her out on Fridays. She wanted to make playlists, and write letters, and do cute little things without asking.

All of the things that she knew a girl would appreciate, and that she had heard Alex complain that boys never did for her.

“Three days and you’re already making her a playlist?” Kelley asked through a mouthful of food.

“Yeah,” Tobin answered nonchalantly. “I like her.”

And Tobin did like Christen. She was probably the easiest person in the world to fake date because she was super pretty, and super smart, and super sweet, and super easy to talk to.

“Is she your girlfriend?” Allie asked with a smile.

Tobin shrugged. “I haven’t like asked her or anything.”

During their conversation in the park, neither of them had used the g-word.

“You should ask her,” Allie stated conclusively. 

“Ask who what?” Alex asked as she stood in front of the table, having just arrived. She took the seat next to Kelley, directly across from Tobin, and asked the question again once no one jumped to respond to her. “Ask who what? What are we talking about?”

Allie bit off a carrot before she answered. “Tobin is going to ask Christen to be her girlfriend.”

“The Chadwick girl?”

“Yeah,” Tobin answered with a nod. “We’ve been hanging out and texting.” She studied Alex’s expression carefully as the striker unpacked her lunch and listened. “I like her and she likes me.” The corner of Alex’s mouth twitched, but that was it. That was the only reaction that this new information received. 

“You don’t date, Tobin.”

Ah, there it was. Alex could carefully school her facial expressions into disinterest, but she couldn’t mask her tone. She sounded annoyed, and a little bitter.

But she wasn’t wrong. Tobin had only ever had one girlfriend and she wasn’t proud of how that relationship had ended. Since then she had been the epitome of casual – a meet up at a party here and there, a walk on the beach, time in the backseat of her truck. Girls knew what she wanted and there were no expectations and no confusion. No one got their feelings hurt and it was all about having a little fun. 

The truth of the matter was that no girl had ever held her attention long enough for her to entertain the idea of commitment.

No one except Alex.

“I do now,” she replied simply.

“Does she know about your dating history?”

Tobin was thankful when Kelley jumped into the conversation. “Ease up, Al. The last time I checked, who Tobin wants to date is none of your business.”

Alex visibly bristled while Allie looked between the two as she awkwardly, and loudly, chewed on a carrot. Tobin just shrugged when Allie looked at her and she stood up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “I’m going to head to the library, gotta American History test next period.” 

At the end of the day, Tobin drove through the campus of the nearby private school for the very first time. She was too distracted by her shitty day and excitement over seeing Christen again to truly take in the sprawling grounds, state of the art buildings, and kids walking around that just screamed money. It was clear that her old pickup truck stuck out in the worst possible way, but she had never let anything like that phase her before and she wasn’t about to start now.

She parked in the closest parking lot to the main athletics building and hopped out of her truck to walk to the area outside the tennis courts where Christen had texted her that she would be waiting. She approached with an easy smile as she spotted Christen leaning against a concrete half wall. She was wearing black leggings and a hooded sweater, and her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and…

Ugh, she was just so pretty.

She was so focused on Christen that she almost missed the boy standing next to her. He was tall and lanky with dark skin and short hair that was shaved on the sides. She supposed that he would be considered attractive, he had a nice smile and nothing about him was immediately off-putting. She opened her mouth to speak, but somehow, this boy beat her to it.

“Holy shit. You’re Tobin Heath.”

Tobin furrowed her brow in confusion. “I am Tobin Heath,” she answered slowly.

He laughed and excitedly held out his hand. “This is so cool. I’m Bram. I watched you play U-16s and U-17s. You are so good.”

He continued to talk, telling a story about her nutmegging a German defender on live television, but she had completely tuned out. Actually, she wasn’t sure if she had heard anything after he introduced himself.

So this was Bram.

She snapped back into the conversation when he addressed Christen. “Chrissy, how do you know Tobin Heath?”

Oh. She really hated that nickname falling from this guy’s mouth.

Tobin reached forward and grabbed Christen’s hand, entwining their fingers. “Are you ready to go?” She asked with a smile.

Christen nodded and then turned back to Bram. “Tobin is picking me up from school. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Bram nodded with a puzzled look on his face and Tobin took that as her cue to bend over and pick up Christen’s backpack and tennis bag. With a gentle tug on Christen’s hand, she began to lead them towards her truck.

“So that’s the ex?” She began.

“Yes,” Christen confirmed, “that’s him. Sorry, I didn’t expect him to fangirl over you.”

Tobin chuckled. “No worries, it’s not a big deal.”

“You know,” Christen began with a grin, “we’ve been texting for a few days now, and approximately ninety percent of that conversation has been about soccer. So I know that you love soccer, and I assumed that you’re good at soccer, but you did not mention that you’re Team USA good.”

Tobin shrugged bashfully. She was Team USA good. She was All-State good. She was full ride college scholarship good. But she didn’t go around bragging about it. “I’ve been very lucky,” she replied humbly.

“You gotta be good to be lucky,” Christen quipped with a smile.

They reached the truck and Tobin tossed Christen’s bags into the backseat. “How was your day?”

“It was great,” the dark-haired girl answered happily. “How was yours?”

“Kinda awful actually,” she replied honestly. “I think I bombed a test, and I have a stupid Math assignment due tomorrow.”

Christen frowned and reached out to touch Tobin’s forearm. “Do you want to study with me?”

Tobin looked at her shyly and she couldn’t get past the kind look in Christen’s eyes. No judgement, no pity, just a genuine offer. “You would do that?” She questioned in disbelief. Kelley offered to study with her all of the time but Kelley had as much interest in school as she did, and an even shorter attention span.

“I’m like Team USA good at school,” she teased.

Tobin laughed and playfully pushed her backwards until she was pressed against the wheel well of her truck. “Is this okay?” She asked in a husky voice.

“Definitely,” Christen answered, equally as breathless.

Tobin knew that she was the first girl that Christen had kissed beyond Spin the Bottle, so she knew that this was as much about figuring that out as it was about her overexcited, soccer obsessed ex-boyfriend. Tobin didn’t mind at all. With her hands on Christen’s hips, she leaned in and just brushed her lips over Christen’s cheek and jaw.

There was a wolf whistle from nearby and Christen pulled away with an adorable blush staining her cheeks. “Come on,” she murmured. “We can study at my house if you want.”

Tobin drove Christen to her house, carefully listening to directions, and parked on the street with wide eyes and a low whistle. She wasn’t sure if she would refer to Christen’s home as a _house_, it was more like a mansion. She could see Christen shifting uncomfortably as she unbuckled her seatbelt out of the corner of her eye and she decided not to comment on it. Maybe Christen didn’t like to talk about her apparent wealth.

She followed Christen inside, where they were immediately accosted by two dogs. Christen knelt down and scratched both of their heads, and allowed both of them to lick her face. They were clearly two pups who were used to a lot of love and attention.

“Hey girls,” Christen cooed. “How was your day?”

“And who are these lovely ladies?” Tobin asked with a chuckle.

Christen looked up at her with a big, bright smile – the one that simultaneously made Tobin want to look away and stare at her forever. 

“This is Morena and Khaleesi.”

Tobin joined Christen on the floor to introduce herself to both of the dogs. She grinned triumphantly when they eagerly accepted her, licking her hands and wagging their tails.

She followed Christen through the house, and the dogs followed her. They walked through a large foyer, up a staircase, and down a hallway. She pushed a door open and turned to Tobin shyly as she announced that this was her room. Tobin stepped over the threshold with a smile and inquisitive eyes. She hadn’t known Christen for very long, but her bedroom seemed to really fit her. It was bright and clean, with a large bed and an organized desk. There was a window seat where Tobin could imagine that Christen did her reading on weekends and a Serena Williams poster on the wall.

“I like your room,” she stated as she unceremoniously flopped back onto the bed. Morena joined her on the bed while Khaleesi trotted out the open door.

“Thanks,” Christen answered before she removed her sweater and hung it on a hook on the closet door.

Tobin would be lying if she said that her eyes weren’t instantly drawn to the newly exposed skin between her leggings and her tank top.

“Would you like something to eat or drink?”

Tobin was too distracted to answer and Morena quickly took issue with it. She pawed at Tobin’s forearm and knowingly tilted her head. “Sorry,” she muttered to the dog. She cleared her throat before she answered Christen’s question. “No, thank you. I’m good.”

Christen nodded and began to unpack the bag that she had carried up the stairs. “So, Math?” She questioned as she sat down on the edge of the bed, with Morena separating them.

Tobin sat up straight and suppressed a groan. She really didn’t like school. She had a hard time concentrating in class and she found that the things that she did know never showed up on tests. But she knew that she needed school to play soccer. She reached across the dog and tapped the small notebook on top of Christen’s stack of textbooks. It looked far too small to be a subject notebook. “Is this your dairy?” She joked.

Christen shook her head, but she blushed nonetheless. “No, it’s my planner. I am very attached to it.”

“Can I see it?”

Christen clutched the small book a little bit tighter. “No, it’s embarrassing. I take my planner too seriously.”

Tobin intentionally dropped an octave as she spoke, “Show me. Please.” Morena barked and it made Tobin laugh. “See, she agrees with me.”

The tennis player placed a kiss on the top of the dog’s head. “Traitor.”

Morena hopped off of the bed and Tobin took the opportunity to move closer. “I promise I won’t make fun,” she said gently.

Tobin carefully took the book when it was offered to her and began to slowly turn the pages. She wasn’t sure why Christen would be embarrassed, it seemed like a normal planner for an organized person. She had her class schedule, dates and deadlines for tests and assignments, tennis practice and conditioning. But upon closer inspection, she had every day broken down into checklists, into one hour increments. Tobin couldn’t help but smile. She found the whole thing totally endearing.

She found today’s date and grabbed a pencil sitting on Christen’s bedside table. She scribbled an entry into a block of free time between school and dinner, and then she handed the planner back with a grin.

Christen arched an eyebrow before she read the addition out loud. “From four to five, make out with Tobin.”

“You should probably schedule that for every day for at least the next three weeks,” Tobin added quickly.

Christen blushed, all shy and pretty, and she smacked Tobin’s thigh. “I like kissing you, Tobin,” she admitted. “But I don’t want to take advantage.”

“Take advantage of what?” She asked with a frown. Christen just sighed so Tobin decided to double down. “I’m the one who asked to kiss you, remember? All that you’d be taking advantage of is my eagerness.”

Christen chuckled and moved a little bit closer. Tobin took that as a very good sign.

“You know that I’ve never…” She trailed off with a wave of her hand and she bit down on her bottom lip. “That I’ve never…”

Tobin placed a hand on her knee and squeezed reassuringly. “I know,” she answered gently. “It’s not a big deal. No pressure.” She tapped Christen’s leg before she decided to be more upfront about what exactly they were talking about. “It doesn’t matter to me that you’ve never dated a girl before.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” she nodded.

Christen seemed to be in deep thought until she stared at the clock on her bedside table. “We have twenty minutes until my mom and sister get home.”

“Awesome,” Tobin grinned as she fell back onto the bed. Her eyes widened in excitement as Christen crawled towards her and took both of her hands in order to push them into the mattress. “Awesome,” she repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to contribute any high school movie tropes that strike your fancy! Open to ideas!


	4. Show me how you do that trick...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen lets Tobin into her life and attends a soccer game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Messing around with the timing of sports for fictional purposes, but hey, it's California.

Pretending to date Tobin Heath was one of the easiest things that Christen had ever done. The soccer playing Senior was sweet, and funny, and fun. She made Christen laugh, _a lot_. Their conversations, whether in person or via text, flowed effortlessly. She never had to wait an agonizing amount of time for Tobin to text her back and she didn’t fret over her own responses, she simply said what was on her mind and she didn’t worry about being judged.

Almost three weeks in, and Christen felt like she had known Tobin for years. They studied together most days and so far their Friday night dates had included going to the movies and eating ice cream as they walked along the beach. They kept to high traffic areas, places where they knew that they would be seen and it would eventually get back to their respective social circles.

And they kissed. A lot. Maybe a little too much.

But it wasn’t her fault that Tobin was so hot. Tan skin and brown eyes, muscled shoulders and that jawline.

Yeah, Tobin was just really hot.

“Gimme one dirty detail,” Crystal demanded with a laugh as they headed towards the locker room after tennis practice.

Christen laughed as well, but she felt her cheeks flush. The door closed behind them until several other girls walked in. Christen approached her locker with a laser like focus and began to spin the dial on her lock. She turned to Crystal, whose locker was right next to hers, with a playful smile. “I will tell you one thing.”

Crystal slammed her locker door shut dramatically and grinned triumphantly. “Spill.”

“She’s such a good kisser,” Christen sighed.

Crystal’s grin widened and she looked almost proud. “Get it, girl.”

Christen leaned back against her locker and sighed again. Tobin really was a phenomenal kisser. Tobin kissed all soft and slow to start, enticing and sweet, before she increased the pressure of her lips and tilted her head when she felt Christen growing comfortable, and perhaps a tad impatient. Tobin kissed with intent, only dragging her tongue along Christen’s bottom lip when she was good and ready. Tobin kissed with a hand in her hair and an index finger stroking her jaw. Tobin kissed like she had all the time in the world. Tobin kissed like it was her favourite way to spend time. Tobin interrupted their kissing only to thoughtfully discern the colour of her eyes or to tell her that she liked her hair curly and wild.

Tobin’s kisses left her wanting and breathless, in a way that Bram’s never had.

She took a quick post practice shower and then she walked to the parking lot where she knew Tobin would be waiting for her with her beat-up truck and bright smile.

“Hey superstar!” Tobin called once Christen was within earshot.

She flushed and rolled her eyes. Tobin had managed to find a school newspaper article about her and her performance so far this tennis season, and had created what she felt was an appropriate nickname. It was embarrassing, but it also made her stomach flutter a little.

She greeted Tobin with a quick kiss to the cheek. “Hi, Tobin.”

Tobin was apparently feeling playful as she grabbed both of her hands and swung them between them. “Studying at your house?” She asked with a hopeful lilt to her voice.

Christen nodded. “Sounds good.”

Tobin, being as chivalrous as ever, grabbed Christen’s bags and opened the passenger door for her. “And I have something to ask you.”

“Oh?” She questioned when Tobin jumped into the driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition.

“Our home opener is on Friday night.”

“I’ll be there,” she responded cheerily. “I promised I would come to all your games.”

Tobin nodded along as she focused on the road. “Well that wasn’t what I was going to ask. I was going to ask if you could wear one of my shirts to the game. So people know who you’re cheering for!”

Christen felt a flush that extended far beyond her cheeks. There was something about that request that seemed incredibly… intimate? She had never worn anything belonging to Bram to a game before, she had always gone with a school shirt or sweater to show her support. But she knew that Tobin’s clothes would fit her nicely, and there was a distinct appeal to that as well.

“Sure,” she answered softly. “I can do that.”

“Awesome,” Tobin grinned as she pulled into the driveway.

Christen reached to open the door and then hesitated when she saw that her dad was in the driveway, with the old car that he liked to tinker with, and Bram standing next to him.

“Is he around like that a lot?” Tobin asked curiously.

“He lives next door and our parents are friends, so yeah.”

Tobin grabbed her hand and placed a brief kiss to her knuckles. “Don’t worry, we got this.”

Tobin hopped out of the truck and skipped to the passenger side – she never seemed to just walk anywhere. She helped Christen down onto the pavement and entwined their fingers.

“Is that a ’63?” Tobin asked excitedly as they approached the hood of the car.

Her father looked up, as equally excited, and greeted Tobin with a happy smile. He had met her the very first time that she had taken Christen out and he was enamoured, to say the least. They talked about soccer, and cars, and fishing, and other things that Christen wasn’t remotely interested in. She had been overwhelmed by anxiety when she had told her sometimes overbearing father that a _girl_ was picking her up for a date, (like a _romantic_ date) but all of that had vanished within ten seconds of his first conversation with Tobin.

She was just so damn charming.

Tobin hadn’t just made dating her incredibly easy, she had made the entire process of coming out to her parents incredibly easy. That was a hard debt to repay.

“Indeed it is, Tobster!”

“Oh my god, Dad,” Christen groaned in embarrassment.

Tobin just chuckled and stepped closer to the car. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Well that’s what Bram and I are trying to figure out,” he answered.

Tobin looked thoughtful as she peered over the hood of the car and Christen couldn’t help but watch her. And she noticed the way that Bram watched her too. With fascination, because apparently Tobin was good at everything that he wanted to be good at, but she could see something else in his expression for the first time.

“I could take a look,” Tobin offered casually. “My Dad is always teaching me stuff about cars.”

Her dad’s eyes lit up like she had just offered him the secrets of the universe. “Why don’t you stay for dinner and we can take a look after?”

“Sounds great! Thank you so much.”

Tobin turned towards Christen and shot her a wink that spoke volumes.

So charming.

On Friday night, Christen sat in the bleachers of a public school wearing a white long-sleeve that had the Team USA crest emblazoned on the front and Tobin’s surname and number on the back. It was soft and comfortable, and she tried to ignore how much it smelled like Tobin, clean and crisp with a hint of vanilla.

“She’s so good,” Julie breathed in her ear.

Christen nodded mindlessly. _Good_ didn’t do Tobin justice. Not even close. Watching Tobin play soccer was like listening to your favourite song for the first time or reading a great poem. Christen was an athlete, she saw beauty in sport, but she had never seen anything like this. Tobin moved in a way that made everyone else on the field look like they weren’t even playing the same game.

“She’s like, ridiculous,” Crystal added from her other side.

Christen just nodded again.

Tobin played soccer exactly like she kissed, and it made something settle warm and solid in her lower belly.

“I think she’s broken,” Julie teased.

Crystal was quick to counter. “I think she’s horny.”

Julie bust out laughing while Christen smacked Crystal’s shoulder. “Why did I ask the two of you to come with me again?” Christen asked loudly.

“Because we’re your best friends,” Julie sing-songed.

“And we’re awesome,” Crystal added. 

Christen rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the field where Tobin’s school was leading 2-0. She clapped every time Tobin touched the ball, and ignored Julie and Crystal’s persistent teasing. She was trying to be a supportive fake girlfriend, and she thought that she was doing a wonderful job.

When the final whistle blew, she stood and clapped like everyone else, and waved when Tobin made eye contact with her. Tobin grinned happily, all sweaty and breathless with her socks and shinguards slipping down her legs, as she made a ‘come here’ motion with her hand. Christen waved back at her and Tobin kept repeating the motion, more vigorous each time.

“She wants you to go down there,” Crystal said with an elbow to her side.

Julie smirked. “She wants a reward for winning.”

Christen smacked both of her so called friends before she carefully made her way down to the field. Tobin ran towards her and Christen eagerly accepted the hug as she moved from the bottom step of the bleachers into Tobin’s waiting arms.

“You are amazing,” she breathed.

“Thanks!” Tobin replied excitedly. “It was a good game. Did you have fun?”

Honestly, Christen was still a little in awe of what she had just seen. She bypassed the question entirely and simply said, “Thank you for inviting me.”

Tobin nodded after pulling away from the hug, looking a little bit like an eager puppy, and considering her love for chasing a ball around, it wasn’t an outrageous comparison. “Do you want to come to the post-game party with me?”

Christen shyly bit down on her bottom lip. “Is it going to be a big thing?”

“No, no,” Tobin answered quickly. “Just the team and some significant others.”

“Okay,” she answered tentatively.

Tobin’s smile brightened, if that was even possible; the smile that she reserved for soccer was wide, bright, and joyous. “Awesome.” She paused before she reached for the hem of Christen’s shirt and grinned. “This looks good on you.”

Christen couldn’t help but blush. The look in Tobin’s eyes was very similar to the one that she had given her just before their first kiss. That look was hard to fake.

“Should I keep it on for this party?” She asked in a quiet voice.

Tobin nodded and her tongue unmistakably came out to swipe along her bottom lip. “Yeah, definitely.”

Christen really liked Tobin’s friends. Allie was kind and outgoing, dragging her from teammate to teammate for introductions and asking her lots of questions about herself. She and Tobin had known each other almost their entire lives. They called each other Harry and had a flurry of inside jokes, and yet she never felt left out. Kelley was loud and funny, making joke after joke, often at Tobin’s expense. She had a big, booming laugh that made you want to laugh along with her. The two girls made Christen feel comfortable and at ease, even amongst a houseful of strangers. 

Alex, on the other hand, was a mystery. She was quiet and stoic. She spoke to Christen in clipped words and plastered on a fake smile. 

It was easy to tell that she was not welcome around Alex Morgan.

And yet, she saw what Tobin saw in the girl. She was ridiculously beautiful; tall, lean, and confident. Those ice blue eyes were powerful and mesmerizing. And she had seen Alex on that field too – she was talented, hungry, competitive. She was focused on the pitch in a different way than Tobin, but their mutual love and passion for soccer was obvious.

She could see the two of them together.

And maybe that’s why Tobin was pouting as she leaned against the wall beside the refrigerator.

Christen gently said goodbye to Allie, with a hand on her forearm, and approached the girl who deserved to smile after the game she just played.

Christen placed both of her hands on Tobin’s shoulders and did not hesitate to step into her personal space. “Where’s that smile I saw an hour ago?” She asked softly.

Tobin didn’t quite smile, but her mouth did twitch a little. “Lex is being a bitch to you, and she’s doing it on purpose.”

She wrapped her arms more fully around Tobin’s shoulders and brought their faces close together, tips of their noses gently brushing. “Go talk to your friend,” she encouraged. Tobin shook her head with that cute, pronounced pout still on her face. “Tobin,” she cooed. “She’s jealous, go talk to her.”

Tobin looked up at her with quizzical eyes and a slightly furrowed brow, as if she was about to deny it. Christen cut off whatever she was about to say with a quick, chaste kiss.

“Go,” she repeated. “I’ll be right here.”

Tobin huffed before she disentangled herself from Christen and headed across the room towards Alex.

Christen wasn’t alone for very long before Kelley sidled up to her holding a cup. “Drink?” She asked enthusiastically. “Don’t worry, it’s just soda.”

Christen nodded and accepted the offered drink with a smile. “Thank you.”

“So Tobs said you’re not really into soccer. You play tennis?”

“I play tennis and I run track.”

“Cool,” Kelley grinned. “What do you like about tennis?”

“Tennis has everything,” she replied quickly, and with gusto. “It’s physically demanding, it’s cerebral, you have to be disciplined and focused, independent. I like it because it’s so challenging.”

Kelley just stared at her with a grin and it made her shift her feet and cross her arms over her chest self-consciously. “What?” She finally asked.

“Nothing,” Kelley shrugged, grin still perfectly in place. “I get why Tobin is so into you.”

Christen opened her mouth to speak, to agree or protest she wasn’t entirely sure, but she stopped when an arm wrapped around the front of her body, across her abdomen, and firm muscle pressed against her back. Kelley’s grin widened exponentially so without all of the already obvious indicators, it had to be Tobin. She shivered as she felt a kiss pressed behind her ear and a hand brush her hair to the side.

Kelley slinked away as she snickered, “I’m gonna gooo.”

“Did you talk to her?” Christen forced out. She was embarrassed that her voice sounded deep and throaty – clearly turned on.

The only answer she received was another kiss to the side of her neck.

“Tobin?” 

“Chris,” Tobin husked.

_Oh_. She had never called her that before.

Christen spun around to face Tobin, but she swallowed thickly at the look on Tobin’s face. Her eyes were practically black and her jaw was set. Christen wasn’t sure if she had ever been looked at like _that_ before. “What is it?” She asked with a gentle hand on the soccer player’s face.

“Kiss me. Kiss me like you want me.”

“I do want you,” Christen admitted softly.

Tobin’s gaze softened around the eyes before she twisted a hand in Christen’s hair and pulled her in for a kiss that could only be described as aggressive, and demanding, and so incredibly hot. Christen whined into her mouth as she practically melted into Tobin’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get messy!


	5. So slide over here...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin doesn't anticipate certain aspects of her relationship with Christen to be so frustrating.

“Okay, what about her?”

Tobin raised her head and looked at the girl that Kelley was gesturing towards as a possibility for her date to Allie’s upcoming party. “No.”

Kelley huffed in annoyance before she returned to her lunch. “Well excuse me,” she replied in exasperation. “Not all of us can have super hot girlfriends that we can ask.”

The midfielder grinned as she focused on her own lunch. Christen was super hot. That was just a fact.

Even if she was a fake girlfriend and not a real girlfriend.

“What about her?” Kelley continued, and Tobin answered with a shake of her head.

She, Kelley, Allie, and Alex were a dependable foursome, but every now and then she and Kelley ate lunch outside, on the bleachers, just the two of them. Sometimes they just needed a little girls who like girls girl talk.

“So how it is?” Kelley asked with a push to her shoulder.

Tobin chewed slowly before she spoke. “This sandwich? It’s awesome.”

Kelley laughed loudly. “Yeah, the sandwich, you asshole,” she chirped sarcastically. “You know what I’m talking about.”

Tobin knew exactly what Kelley was talking about. The bleachers were reserved for conversations like this between them. “Christen and I aren’t having sex,” she stated quietly.

“What?” Kelley questioned in surprise. “You’re not? Can I?” She asked teasingly.

Tobin promptly threw a cherry tomato at her friend as Kelley threw her head back in laughter. “Can you stop slobbering over her for like five minutes, O’Hara?” She knew that Kelley was just trying to get a reaction out of her, and it was working. 

“Maybe if I try really hard,” Kelley joked.

Tobin rolled her eyes and finished eating her sandwich. “We’re uhh… we’re taking things slow.”

“How slow?”

She pursed her lips. The verbal acknowledgement that she and Christen were mutually physically attracted to each other had made things a little complicated.

Complicated in the sense that Tobin had to use all of her self-restraint to keep her mouth and hands off of Christen. But it was really hard. Because Christen’s skin was so soft, and she always smelled so good, and she made the most delicious little humming sound when Tobin nipped at the corner of her jaw. She was so responsive that Tobin had to calculate her every move when they kissed, otherwise she would probably explode.

“Uhh… slow. I don’t want to push her, but I don’t think she gets how sexy she is. She—” Tobin was interrupted by the vibration of her cell phone on her lap. She glanced at the screen to see that Christen had sent her a Snap and she opened it eagerly. The first message was an adorable picture of Christen pouting with the caption: “We played field hockey today in PE and I got turf burn”. The second picture was of the aforementioned turf burn, which was high up on the back of her thigh – so high that it gave Tobin a look at her perfectly shaped ass. “She doesn’t get how sexy she is at all,” she finished with a groan. 

Tobin subconsciously licked her lips as her fingers tightened around the chain-link fence that separated her from the school’s tennis courts. She watched Christen hit ball after ball, practicing her serve, and it certainly wasn’t a bad way to spend her time. She watched shoulder and leg muscles flex beneath sweat slick caramel skin, and she felt herself lick her bottom lip again.

Christen Press was so frustratingly gorgeous.

She pushed herself off the fence and slowly moved towards the door to the court. “Is this a girlfriend duty?” She called mischievously. “Because I could get used to this.”

The dark-haired girl served another ball before she spun around to face Tobin, twirling her racket in her hand. “I have to serve ten balls in a row, and hit the same spot, before I can leave the court,” she answered seriously.

Tobin raised an eyebrow in surprise. Christen was just as serious about tennis as she was about soccer, and that was… crazy hot. “And how’s that going?”

“I’m on eight.”

Tobin slipped both of her hands into her sweatpants and shrugged. “Well go ahead, superstar.”

Christen served the remaining two balls in her pocket and seemed content enough with the results. She walked towards the chairs near the net and took a quick drink from her water bottle before she grabbed the white towel draped over the back of the chair. Tobin was a little entranced as Christen dragged the towel down her arms and then over her shoulders, neck, and face. She cleared her throat in order to refocus. She had an invite to extend after all. 

“So, uh, Allie is having a party tomorrow night, and all my friends will be there. I would like you to come. Will you?”

She had invited tonnes of girls to parties before, but this was different. Christen didn’t typically go to the same parties that she did, except for that one fateful night apparently.

Christen paused thoughtfully as she drank some more water. She smiled slowly as she grabbed Tobin’s wrist and began to walk her fingers up the inside of her arm. “I’m not sure I’d trust you to keep up our deal if you were out all by yourself, with drunk Freshmen girls falling all over you.”

The soccer player knew an invitation to tease when she was offered one, and there was no way that she was about to pass it up. “If you are going to come and be my personal bodyguard then I should tell you that physical affection is my love language, and that I’m going to need to express myself in order to make it known that I’m off the market.”

“Is that so?” Christen asked with a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Tobin nodded as she placed both of her hands on the other girl’s hips and stepped closer. “Definitely. I’m going to want to hold your hand, and touch your waist, and press my face against your neck.” She took another step closer and raised a hand to tug on the end of a dark, silky ponytail. “Play with your hair,” she continued in a deeper, slower drawl. “Slip my hand into your back pocket.”

Christen closed her eyes and tilted her head back as Tobin’s fingers tangled in her hair. “My friends keep telling me that I should let you do whatever you want with me.”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that,” she chuckled.

“But they don’t realize you’re in love with Alex.”

And just like that – their spell was broken.

Christen opened her eyes and they each took a deliberate step backwards. Christen busied herself packing up her bag as Tobin awkwardly chewed on her bottom lip. She swallowed thickly before she gathered the courage to at least be honest.

“Chris, just so you know, I’m not in love with her. It just hurts and I want her to see what she’s missing, ya know?”

Christen looked up at her, still bent at the waist zipping her tennis bag, and nodded. “Okay,” she responded slowly.

“She thinks I could never be serious about someone and I can,” Tobin continued.

Christen slung her bag over her shoulder and stood up straight. “Okay,” she repeated. 

“And what is it that you want exactly?”

“Someone to make me forget how serious I can be,” Christen responded without hesitation. 

“I can do that,” Tobin grinned. “I am good at that.”

“I know you are,” Christen chuckled as she playfully pushed Tobin’s shoulder. “I like it.”

Tobin shrugged bashfully as she reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope. “This is for you.”

“What is it?” Christen asked with a raised eyebrow.

“A letter. For you. From me.”

Tobin felt very shy about this all of a sudden, but the way that Christen’s eyes brightened made her relax with a smile.

“Tobin,” she sighed. “This is…” She closed the gap between them and placed a hand on Tobin’s sternum. “Bring me home so we can make out on my bed?”

“Yes” was all that Tobin was capable of saying.

If Tobin concentrated really hard, she knew that she could focus on the music from her playlist streaming out of Christen’s speakers and not the way that Christen’s elegant fingers gripped her lower back. If she listened really closely, she could hear the lyrics to the song and not Christen’s uneven breath and the little gasp she released when Tobin nipped at her collarbone with her teeth.

But perhaps INXS weren’t exactly the best band to direct her attention toward if she didn’t want to think about sexy things.

They were practically listening to baby making music.

“Is this okay?” She asked in a husky voice as she trailed her mouth down to the top of Christen’s tank, where she could see the edge of her sports bra. “Do you want me to stop?”

Christen quickly shook her head. “No, no, I don’t wanna stop.”

Tobin swallowed at the breathless quality of Christen’s voice.

“Can I get on top?”

Tobin swallowed again and briefly closed her eyes. She liked being on top because she liked controlling the pace of a kiss and the pressure of their bodies. She liked being on top because she knew what she was doing and she knew that she was good at it. But… She looked down at Christen beneath her, her hands holding herself up on either side of her slim waist and their hips slotted together, and she was all dark hair and flushed skin, and bright green eyes.

Fuck. Yes.

The soccer player eagerly flopped onto her back on the other side of Christen’s large bed and Christen settled atop of her with a giggle. “You’re cute like this.”

“Cute like what?” Tobin asked before she rejoined their mouths.

Christen giggled again and then peppered kisses along Tobin’s cheek. “Eager and excited.”

Tobin laughed as she ran her fingers through Christen’s ponytail. “Well I’m really easy,” she joked. “And you’re really beautiful.”

Christen blushed, like she typically did when Tobin paid her a compliment, and buried her face in Tobin’s neck.

“You are,” she persisted. “You’re gorgeous, and stunning, and so, so sexy.”

“Tobin,” Christen exhaled against her neck.

Her hand playfully tugged on Christen’s ponytail before she dragged it down over Christen’s back until it settled on her butt. “Am I embarrassing you?”

“Yes,” Christen murmured.

After a silence, Tobin posed a question. “Do you wanna take a nap like this?” As much as she loved making out, Christen gripping her like a cuddly koala was both comfortable and adorable, and she knew that Christen had to be exhausted from tennis practice. And she would never say no to a nap.

“That’d be nice.”

“Can I keep my hand on your butt?” She asked with a grin.

Christen answered her with a melodious giggle.

Tobin took a long drink from her beer bottle as she glanced at the clock on her phone. There were already a lot of people in the house, but she was only looking for one and she wasn't here yet. And she was strangely nervous about it. Christen wasn't blowing her off, was she?

“Where’s your girl?” Allie chirped from beside her.

“I’m not sure,” Tobin frowned. “I told her that she could come any time after nine. She didn’t want me to pick her up because she didn’t want me to worry about driving her home.”

Tobin could see Allie grinning as she looked at her phone again. It was almost twenty minutes to ten, and Christen wasn’t the type to be late. She was organized, and put together, and punctual.

“You’re nervous,” the blonde stated. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” she denied.

Allie furrowed her brow in disbelief. “Then stop fidgeting.”

“I’m not fidgeting.”

“Why are you fidgeting?” Alex asked as she approached the pair of them.

Tobin opened her mouth to argue, but Allie interrupted. “She’s just a little love sick.” Allie wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Our little Tobin. All grown up and in love.”

Alex narrowed her eyes and it made her shift her feet uncomfortably. Alex looked sceptical and suspicious, and it felt like she was looking straight through Tobin. A part of her wanted to jump in and reassure Alex, correct Allie, and tell them exactly what was going on. But she remembered what Alex had said to her at the last party they had attended. She had said that if Tobin was looking to date a girl like her then she needed to try a lot harder. And then she had had the audacity to say that maybe she should check Christen’s price tag. Of course Alex would find a roundabout way to call someone cheap.

Tobin was still mad about it honestly. Even if Alex was jealous, she didn’t have to be such a bitch about it.

And she was having fun with Christen! Why would she deal with Alex’s jealously or whatever the hell it was? If Alex wanted to have a mature conversation, she was ready for it, but only then. 

“Oh my god,” Allie giggled in her ear. “How’s your heart working, Harry?”

“Why?” She asked in confusion.

“Because Christen is here and she looks hot as hell.” Allie squealed before she grabbed Tobin by the shoulders and pushed her forward.

Tobin stumbled and then looked up as she regained her footing. Christen was walking towards her and, Allie was right, she looked unbelievable. A goddess even. She was wearing white shorts and a sleeveless, black blouse, and her hair was half up and half down, left in natural curls. And Tobin just wanted to get her hands on her.

She increased her pace until she reached Christen and grabbed her by the waist.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Christen began to ramble. “Crystal and Julie helped me get ready, and we lost track of time because—”

Tobin cut her off by pressing their mouths together. “It’s okay,” she exhaled against Christen’s lips. “If this is the result, you can always take as long as you want. You look amazing. I feel so underdressed,” she laughed.

Christen smiled as she bunched the fabric of Tobin’s Arsenal jersey between her fingers. “I think you look good.”

Tobin kissed her again before she politely asked, “Can I get you a drink? What would you like?”

“Surprise me. Nothing too strong, please.”

Tobin loved watching Christen slowly come out of her shell as the night wore on. She was a little tipsy and it made her a little touchy and a little giggly, and Tobin loved it. It reminded her of how they had been inseparable the first night they met, after they kissed. She was not complaining at all that Christen was pressed against her side as they stood on Allie's back porch, leaning against the railing. In fact, she wrapped an arm around the girl's petite waist to pull her closer. She smiled when Christen's reactionary response was to place a hand on her abdomen and nuzzle against her neck.

This was what she had always loved about the idea of a relationship - not the sex, not the dates, not the element of showing off. She loved the idea of these small moments of physical affection, where she could place a hand on her girlfriend and be reassured that the contact was accepted and welcomed, and reciprocated. She was a physical person, she was always moving and fidgeting, she learned best by doing, and she expressed herself through touch - a soccer ball was not always required, but it was where she shined. She needed to be with someone who let her express herself that way because she wasn't always great with her words.

"Tobin," Christen whispered in her ear.

Tobin dipped her head to where Christen was leaning against her shoulder and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Can we can go somewhere?"

It was hard to miss the way that Christen played with the hem of her shirt as she coyly asked that question, her fingers skimming along the waistband of Tobin's jeans. All that she could do was nod before she placed a hand on the small of Christen's back and led her inside the house. She guided her to Allie’s guest room upstairs, a room that was like Tobin’s second home and hers for the night.

She closed the door behind her and promptly pressed Christen against it. Her kisses were hot and eager, and her hand dropped to grip one of Christen’s thighs. “Is this what you wanted?” She asked breathlessly.

Christen nodded and pulled Tobin back in with both hands fisted in her jersey. “Yes,” she gasped, “this is what I want. I really like the way you kiss me.”

Tobin smiled as she brushed Christen’s hair behind her ear. “You’re easy to kiss.” She leaned in to prove it, and after a series of kisses, she exhaled, “You’re so pretty.”

Christen’s hands fell to her hips before they slipped up her back, underneath her shirt. Christen’s bare hands felt like hot coals warming her from the inside and the short nails moving across her tensed muscles made her shiver. She hitched Christen’s leg up and around her waist, and chuckled as they both gasped at the intense contact.

“That’s not funny,” Christen pouted.

Tobin couldn’t stop her grin from widening. “Please tell me you know how irresistible you are.”

That gorgeous blush spread across Christen’s cheeks and down to her neck, and Tobin knew that she was embarrassing her again. God, she was so sexy when she blushed.

“Chris,” Tobin began before she ran her tongue along her bottom lip. “I _really_ like you.”

There was enough of a pause to make Tobin wonder if she had said the wrong thing, but then Christen smiled that butterflies in your stomach inducing smile.

So pretty.

She kissed Christen’s cheek and slowly moved lower, her jaw, her neck, her shoulder. “I wanna make you feel good,” she husked. “Can I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy cliffhanger?
> 
> The next chapter will be the second half of this party.


	6. There's something about you girl...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Christen take some serious steps forward in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your excited, kind comments!

“I wanna make you feel good. Can I?”

Christen practically trembled as she tangled a hand in Tobin’s hair and focused on the way the girl was sucking on her collarbone, surely leaving a hickey behind.

She had been thinking about this all day – Tobin’s mouth on her, Tobin’s strong hands skimming along her sides, Tobin’s goofy smile, and the slow drawl of her voice. She had been thinking, and frankly, fantasizing, about what they could get up to while her parents thought she was sleeping over at Julie’s.

She never did things like this, but she really wanted to. And maybe giving into the things that she wanted wasn’t such a bad thing. She was driven, focused, and disciplined, and she had been almost her entire life. Even when she was really little, her earliest memories were of her obeying her parents and following the rules, and striving to please them.

She rarely had any fun just because she wanted to.

So maybe it was that realization, or maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her system, or maybe it was the press of Tobin’s body against hers, but she pushed herself off of the door and allowed Tobin to lift her off of the ground, both of her legs wrapping around Tobin’s waist. Being carried even the incredibly short distance to the bed was insanely attractive. She moaned in appreciation and gripped the back of Tobin’s neck.

She was a tad surprised when Tobin sat down on the edge of the bed and slowly moved them into a lying position, with Christen on top, all while their mouths stayed joined. She giggled quietly when Tobin traced both of her hands down her back and they settled on her behind. Now she understood why she was on top.

“God, your ass is so perfect,” Tobin groaned.

“You think so?” She asked a little teasingly, completely confused as to where her newfound bravery was coming from.

Tobin nodded slowly as her hands massaged the flesh beneath her hands. “Uh huh, you should let me stare at it more.” 

Christen had noticed Tobin staring at her a time or two, certainly in an appreciative manner. Like most girls her age, Christen had serious criticisms of her own body. Her breasts were too small and she thought her butt was a little too big for her frame. Her hair was incredibly hard to maintain and she felt small and frail a great deal of the time, her clothes never quite fitting her the way that she wanted them to. She had been called a nice-looking girl, or some version of that, a number of times in her life, but she only felt really sexy when she caught Tobin Heath looking at her.

She slowly sat up, Tobin’s hands sliding to cradle her hips, and she reached for the top button of her blouse. She wanted to see that look on Tobin’s face that made her feel shy and empowered at the same time. She slowly unbuttoned her shirt and closely monitored the way Tobin’s brown eyes darkened, just slightly, and the way her fingers dug into her hip bones just a little bit harder. She shrugged the thin material off of her shoulders and tossed it over the side of the bed – thankful that Crystal and Julie had talked her into wearing one of her nice bras, a dark burgundy garment with a little lace on the top of the cups.

She watched Tobin’s throat bob before she felt gentle, curious fingers touch her abdomen.

“Can I touch?” Tobin asked in a gravelly voice.

Christen simply nodded and then both of Tobin’s hands moved to cup her breasts. She arched into the touch and closed her eyes. She really should have known that Tobin would be far too good at this. She tossed her head back and had absolutely no control of the moan she released when Tobin’s dexterous fingers tweaked her nipple.

She must have missed Tobin shifting so that she was also sitting up because her voice in her ear caught her by surprise. “You’re really sensitive, aren’t you?” Christen nodded again, and Tobin started to kiss behind her ear and down her neck. “I’ll be gentle,” she promised in a murmur, “just tell me if it’s too much.”

Christen nodded once more and let her body respond to Tobin’s touch. She mewled and moaned, her lips finding Tobin’s jaw and her hands tangling in long brown hair. Somehow, her knee had slipped in between Tobin’s legs, perhaps when the older girl had sat up, and she was now sitting astride Tobin’s strong left thigh. She blushed and tried to pull away when her hips bucked uncontrollably, essentially humping the poor girl’s leg.

Tobin’s hands scrambled to grip her waist and pull her back in close. “No, don’t,” she gasped. “Keep going. That’s really hot.”

Tobin’s eyes were blown really wide now and her voice was so low that it was practically a rumble. It all only served to make Christen feel even more attractive.

“Can you take your shirt off too?” She asked after a moment of thought.

Tobin nodded before she quickly pulled the soccer jersey over her head. Her hair fell across her shoulders and the gold chain that she wore with a cross pendant settled against her chest. Christen looked at her simple grey bra before her eyes fell to Tobin’s stomach. She licked her lips slowly. 

The girl had actual abs.

“Wow,” Christen breathed. Tobin’s smile was a tad smug, but Christen really couldn’t blame her. “You know you’re seventeen, right?”

The soccer player laughed as she laid back on the bed and tugged Christen down on top of her. With a hand in her hair, she kissed her hungrily and slipped her other hand into the back pocket of her shorts to guide the movement of her hips. “Can you come like this, pretty girl?”

“I don’t know,” she answered timidly, and honestly.

Orgasming hadn’t exactly been the easiest thing in her relationship with Bram. It had only happened a handful of times and it had required her literally lending her eager to please boyfriend a helping hand. Her mind had always been far too cluttered and active to let her body just enjoy something and their mutual inexperience hadn’t helped either. The sex had always been nice, if not a little awkward at first, but it had never made her feel as wanton as she did while on top of Tobin with most of her clothes still on.

Tobin gently touched her cheek and she leaned into the touch. “Can I help?” She asked with a nudge of her nose. “Tell me what you like.”

“Umm… I-I think,” she stammered as Tobin’s hand snuck between them and opened the top button on her shorts.

“Not too rough, right?” She guessed perfectly as her left hand slipped inside her shorts, but not inside her panties.

Christen nodded as her hips rocked into the movement. “Yeah,” she gasped. “And I like it when you kiss my neck.”

Tobin grinned, “I can do that.” She dipped her head to press her lips to Christen’s neck as she helped set the pace of her hips. “That’s it,” she encouraged.

Christen whined as Tobin’s fingers gently explored, hitting all the right places, while her teeth scraped along the length of her neck. “Tobin,” she gasped as her toes dug into the mattress beneath her.

“Are you close, pretty girl?” Tobin whispered.

Christen’s hips stuttered and her hand pressed into Tobin’s abdomen, probably a little too hard, as she felt the wave of her orgasm crash over her. She whimpered and her head dropped to rest on Tobin’s shoulder. Little aftershocks made her shiver and twitch and Tobin’s fingers rubbing circles into her back just made her smile.

“Thank you,” she squeaked.

“You don’t have to thank me, Chris,” Tobin responded softly. “I liked that a lot.”

Christen lifted her head to kiss Tobin’s cheek and it was only when she moved that she realized that Tobin’s hand was still inside her shorts.

“Do it for me again,” Tobin requested hoarsely.

Christen giggled as Tobin led her back to the kitchen with an arm around her waist. She couldn’t believe that they had just done that in the middle of a house party.

And Tobin wasn’t exactly subtle. She always walked with an air of confidence and even swagger, but it was even more pronounced now.

They made it to the drink table and Tobin asked her what she wanted with her arm still around her waist, a hand low on her hip. Christen chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Whatever you made me last time is fine.”

“I just made you a vodka cranberry before,” Tobin smiled.

“Then that is fine.”

Tobin’s smile widened and before Christen could process the reason for it, Tobin leaned in for a kiss. “Your cheeks are all flushed and you look so pretty,” she whispered.

Christen returned the kiss and shyly tucked her hair behind her ears. “Why don’t you make my drink and I’ll get you a beer from the fridge?”

She slipped away from Tobin, even though the girl was reluctant to let her go, and walked towards the refrigerator.

“There you are!” Allie called gleefully as she approached her. “Nice hickey.” The blonde gestured to her neck and as Christen blushed, Allie just kept talking. “Back just in time for Truth or Dare!”

Christen immediately started to shake her head. “Oh, I don’t think so. Truth or Dare is not really for me.”

“Come on.” Allie tried to lure her with a bright smile. “It worked out pretty well for you the last time Tobin played Truth or Dare.”

Well she couldn’t argue against that logic.

Before she could give a final answer, Tobin sidled up to her with a cup in her hand. Christen exchanged the beer in her hand for her drink and then Tobin wrapped an arm around her waist once more.

“Truth or Dare, Harry?” Allie asked excitedly.

Tobin must have seen the apprehension on her face because she answered only to appease her friend. “Just a round or two.”

They moved into the living room, where the majority of Tobin’s soccer team was waiting. Tobin found an open spot on a sofa and swiftly moved into it, pulling Christen onto her lap.

“Harry’s here so it’s her turn,” Allie announced. “My party, my rules,” she added with a shrug.

“Okay, sure,” Tobin spoke up, “my turn. Truth.”

“Boring,” Kelley jeered. 

“What’s your favourite thing about Christen?” Allie jumped in with a dreamy smile.

“That’s easy. Her big brain.” Tobin punctuated her statement with a kiss to Christen’s cheek. “She’s so smart.”

“And she likes my butt,” Christen offered with a giggle.

“Yeah, that too,” Tobin shrugged nonchalantly.

Christen did not miss Alex Morgan rolling her eyes.

The game continued on while she was more distracted by the heat from Tobin’s body and the hand resting on her thigh. She still felt flushed, and wet, from their romp earlier and Tobin certainly was not helping her cool down. As if reading her mind, Tobin pressed her mouth to the back of her neck and she squirmed at the contact.

Tobin chuckled hotly into her ear and squeezed her leg. “Is there something you want?”

She turned her head to give Tobin a playful glare. “Behave.”

“Make me,” she retorted.

Christen’s eyes widened at Tobin’s boldness. But before she could offer a response, Kelley’s booming voice filled the room.

“I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.”

“That’s Kelley’s favourite dare,” Tobin told her in a whisper. “She’s not very creative.”

Christen thought that it was amusing until she realized who Kelley had dared. Alex got up off of the sofa on the opposite side of the room and practically stalked towards Tobin. The striker stood in front of them determinedly and placed both of her hands on Tobin’s face. Tobin opened her mouth to say something, but before she could speak, Alex bent over and kissed her. Fiercely. It was definitely the kind of kiss that didn’t just fulfill a dare. It made a point. A big one. The big, flashing neon sign of points.

Alex pulled away slowly, Tobin’s bottom lip trapped between her own, and the group of people had grown uncomfortably quiet. Alex sauntered back to her spot and Tobin awkwardly hung her head and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Tobin could say what she wanted about not being in love with Alex, but Christen knew that whatever she and Tobin had done earlier did not even hold a candle to that one kiss.

Christen slowly slipped into bed and waited for Tobin to finish in the bathroom. The party had come to an end, definitely on a sour note for her, and the only other people left in the house were Allie and her boyfriend, and Kelley, who was crashing on a couch somewhere.

Alex had actually left the party with some guy from the basketball team.

She pulled all of her hair up into a bun and played with the long sleeves of the shirt that Tobin had given her to wear. It smelled like her, but she really didn’t want to think about that.

She heard footsteps approach the door and she quickly rolled onto her side, away from the entrance. Tobin closed the door, turned off the light, and then got into bed beside her. She heard a deep intake of breath before Tobin shifted closer to her.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Christen asked softly.

Tobin placed a hand on her hip before she responded. “I shouldn’t have let her kiss me like that. It wasn’t fair.”

“It’s okay. That’s what we wanted, right?” 

Tobin was silent for a very long time. Christen wasn’t sure if she was sharing her agreement or thinking of a response. She still didn’t talk when she slipped an arm around her waist and placed a kiss to the back of her neck.

“I wasn’t lying when I said how much I like you,” she finally spoke.

“I know. I like you too.”

There was another long pause punctuated with a kiss to her skin. “Then can we date? Like for real, no more of this jealousy stuff?”

Christen rolled over to face her with a tentative smile. “We can try if you want.”

“I want,” Tobin grinned.

She laughed and smacked Tobin’s shoulder. “Okay, I’d like that.”

“I’d like to start right now. With cuddling.”

Christen laughed again, softly this time, and she didn’t hesitate to snuggle into Tobin’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not that easy. Don't worry, or worry.


	7. Lay your armour down...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin takes Christen to church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sweet, fluffy chapter for you!

Tobin awoke with a pout and an empty bed. She sat up slowly and worked her hands through her hair. She had been looking forward to waking up with Christen in her arms and saying good morning with multiple orgasms.

She fell back onto the bed with a groan as memories of the night before came rushing back to her. Tobin had basked in the opportunity to look at Christen’s body and touch her shamelessly. Every inch of her was just so beautiful. From her gorgeous green eyes to her shapely calves. Tobin hadn’t been able to resist running her hands over exposed, soft, caramel skin and brushing her thumbs over small, perky nipples. Christen was just as sensitive and responsive as she had imagined. She liked it soft and slow and just a brush of light pressure over her clit, even over fabric, had made her shudder.

Tobin wanted to make her feel like that at least a thousand more times.

And she couldn’t wait to get a taste.

She made herself get out of bed with another groan and she pulled on a pair of soccer shorts and a baggie hooded sweater that she had brought with her. She left the guest bedroom and padded towards the kitchen with a purpose. She heard happy laughter and she smelled French toast.

She paused in the doorway and spotted Christen and Allie at the stove, standing back on to her. Christen was wearing her white shorts from the night before and _her_ Arsenal jersey.

Talk about making someone weak in the knees. This was almost as bad as seeing Christen in the shirt with her name written across the back.

“So you’re a morning person, huh?” She called from the doorway.

Christen spun around with a smile. “I am. I got bored waiting for you to wake up so I did some yoga and then I decided to make some breakfast.”

“She’s kinda awesome,” Allie grinned.

Tobin nodded in agreement. Truthfully she hadn’t heard anything after yoga. Imagining Christen in all of those difficult positions was hard for her brain to process.

She stepped up to the dark-haired girl and wrapped both arms around her waist when she turned back to the frying pan on the stove. She kissed the side of her neck before she whispered, “I had plans that involved you staying in bed this morning.”

“Oh really?” Christen asked with a laugh.

She hummed and dropped her kisses to Christen’s shoulder. “But now you’re out here making breakfast, which is also really sexy. I love breakfast.”

“Harry,” Allie sang dramatically. “I’m still here, in case you forgot.”

Tobin laughed as she turned towards her friend. “Good morning, Allie. Thank you for letting me stay over again.”

“No problem, especially if your girlfriend is going to stay and make breakfast the next morning!”

“Yeah, my girlfriend is awesome,” she murmured. She felt Christen stiffen in her embrace so she placed a soft kiss on her cheek. She knew that it was the first time that she had ever referred to Christen as her girlfriend, and it meant something.

It meant something real.

Christen moved the frying pan on the stove and turned off the burner before she turned in Tobin’s arms and offered her a kiss in greeting. “Good morning, Tobin,” she said with a shy, adorable smile.

“Good morning, pretty girl,” Tobin responded with a wide grin. “Did you sleep well?”

“Well I’m going to go wake Kelley up before this gets me pregnant,” Allie interrupted.

Tobin rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t sad to see her friend leave the kitchen. She wasted no time joining their mouths for a slow, much more sensual kiss. With their foreheads pressed together, she asked, “Do you regret anything about last night?”

After a pause, Christen shook her head. “No, I don’t. I wanted to feel good and you made me feel really good. I don’t regret that.”

Tobin smiled, but she could still sense a hesitation behind Christen’s words, and she understood. If Bram had kissed Christen like Alex had kissed her last night then she would be apprehensive too. She was going to have to work for it a little and she didn’t mind.

“Can I take you to do something special tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I can’t tell you that,” she grinned as she took both of Christen’s hands in hers. “It’s a surprise. What I can tell you is that I will pick you up at ten in the morning and you should dress nice.”

Christen nodded with a furrowed brow. “Okay, I can do that, but I don’t really like surprises.”

“Trust me, please,” she pleaded quietly.

Christen nodded again, this time with a much more genuine smile.

She really wanted Christen to trust her with a great deal more than just this surprise.

Tobin awoke early on Sunday morning, mostly out of excitement.

She was a little nervous to take Christen to church, but the three most important things in her life were church, family, and soccer. Christen had already experienced one of those things and Tobin couldn’t think of a better way to show Christen that she was really special than to share the other two with her. Her parents had looked at her with an incredibly knowing expression when she had asked if she could bring someone to Sunday service. They knew that this was special too.

She took her time showering and getting ready, even leisurely blow-drying her hair. She put on the one black dress that she owned, a pair of simple heels, and a light dusting of makeup. With a call of “I’ll be right back!”, she grabbed the keys to her truck and left to pick up Christen.

She knocked on the door of the Press house with a giddy smile and greeted Christen’s mother enthusiastically. “Good morning, Mrs. Press! How are you?”

“Good morning, Tobin,” she responded with a chuckle. “Why don’t you come in while you wait for Chrissy?” Tobin walked inside and Mrs. Press closed the door behind her as she said, “I must say that she’s a little nervous about where you’re taking her.”

Tobin was momentarily distracted when Morena and Khaleesi came to greet her. She was still kneeling on the floor in front of the dogs when she responded to Mrs. Press’ comment. “I’m taking her to church, ma’am.”

The older woman’s eyes widened. “Oh. I was not expecting that, I’ll be honest.”

Tobin smiled easily, “My family and I go every Sunday, and it’s important to me so I thought I’d take Chris.”

Mrs. Press smiled and tilted her head in a way that Tobin hoped meant that she was either approving or impressed, perhaps both. “That is very thoughtful, sweetie.”

She continued to pet the dogs as she bashfully responded, “Thank you.”

With a smile still in place, Mrs. Press angled her head towards the staircase and yelled, “Christen, honey! Tobin is here!”

Tobin waited a few minutes before Christen appeared, looking as pretty as ever in a flowery dress with her hair down and straight. An unpretentious chain fell around her neck, paired with gold hoop earrings, and she was wearing a pair of sandals, making Tobin taller than her for the first time.

“Hi,” she breathed, “you look so pretty.”

Christen smiled coyly and offered Tobin a quick hug. “So do you, nice dress.” She grabbed her hand before she asked, “Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”

Tobin playfully shook her head. “Not yet. Ready to go?”

Christen threw a smile over her shoulder for her mother before Tobin led her to the truck and opened the passenger door for her. The soccer player paused for a moment before she leaned across the console for a quick, sweet kiss.

“I just had to,” she grinned.

Christen smiled back. “It’s good to see you too, Tobin. Now,” she sighed, “where are we going?”

Tobin laughed at her persistence and stubbornness. She shifted the car into reverse as she began the drive back to her house. “We are going to church with my family.” Christen was silent and she risked a glance at her out of the corner of her eye. “I hope that’s okay?”

Christen was still silent and she was nervously playing with her fingers in her lap.

“That’s not okay?” Tobin asked uneasily. She was more than worried now, her hands were beginning to sweat and she felt a lump lodging in her throat. “We… uh… we don’t have to… we can do something else… like, um… like go get breakfast or something?”

“No, it’s not that I don’t want to,” Christen assured her quickly. “It’s just that isn’t it a little personal?”

“Yeah,” she answered slowly. “That’s the point.”

Tobin could see in her peripheral vision that Christen was chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. She was about to speak again when that anxiety turned into a small, tentative smile.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I’m not the most religious person but I am excited.”

Tobin sighed in relief as both of her hands eased up on the steering wheel. “Dope,” she responded happily.

Tobin found peace in two things in her life: in God and on a soccer field. That was the way that it had been for as long as she could remember. She didn’t challenge it. She didn’t question it. She spoke to God and she found answers. She kicked a ball and it went where she wanted it to go. Simple. Easy.

But it was hard to explain that to other people. They didn’t “get” this part of her. They would rather hang out with the goofy, fun-loving soccer prodigy than talk to the girl that loved going to church with her family on Sunday mornings. She didn’t bring a lot of people into this part of her world, and her smile was definitely a tad uneasy as she slide into a pew with her parents, her older sister, Perry, her little brother, Jeffrey, and Christen.

She grabbed Christen’s hand and tugged her closer. Her presence was calming and comforting, and peaceful. A lot like church. A lot like soccer.

Tobin was more distracted that she would normally be because she wanted to take in Christen’s reactions and observations. The tennis star was attentive and contemplative, and not even Tobin’s little brother wiggling and pulling at the collar of his shirt seemed to bother her. Christen had opened up to her about not being religious or particularly devout, but Tobin could see her fitting into this part of her life. 

When the service was over, her parents graciously invited Christen over for brunch – another Sunday tradition. They excitedly asked her questions about school and tennis, especially since her other older sister, Katie, was currently playing tennis at the University of Delaware. Her parents were practically bursting with excitement over the fact that she had brought a _girlfriend_ to meet them. It just so happened that her girlfriend was pretty, and smart, and sweet; a parent’s dream.

“Christen, honey,” her mother smiled, “you should really come around more often, with or without Tobin.”

Tobin rolled her eyes with a grin. Yeah, they really liked her.

“Do you wanna make a trade, Mom?” She joked.

“Maybe I do,” her mother chirped back. “I’m sure Christen doesn’t sauce her mother.”

Christen giggled and turned to Tobin with a grin.

“Okay, whatever,” the soccer player mumbled as she reached out and grabbed Christen’s hand yet again. “Christen and I are going to go upstairs now.”

She entwined their fingers and tugged Christen along. She had just stepped inside her modest bedroom when she heard her mother’s voice again. 

“Tobin! Remember, the door stays open!”

“I know, Mom!” She called back with a roll of her eyes.

She opened the door a tad wider and then she kicked off her heels before she hopped on the bed with a happy smile, where Christen was already demurely sitting, smoothing out her pretty dress.

“So Tobin Heath does have rules to follow?” Christen asked teasingly.

“She does,” she chuckled. “Tobin Heath doesn’t bring a lot of girls home.”

“You know, I gathered that.” She thoughtfully chewed her bottom lip before she crawled towards Tobin on the bed and softly kissed her. “Thank you for letting me be a part of this day.”

Tobin nodded and gently weaved a hand through Christen’s long hair. “I’m really glad you did.” Her other hand cupped Christen’s cheek and it wasn’t long before Tobin was tugging her closer, pulling her into her lap.

It was easy to get lost in a kiss with Christen's pretty lips – that is until she heard her brother’s whiney, seventh grade voice.

“Tobin! You’re not allowed to kiss girls in your room!”

She pulled away from Christen with a groan and glared at Jeffrey standing in her doorway. “Get outta here, dude!” 

Christen giggled and kissed her chastely on the cheek before she moved to sit on the other side of the bed. “Your family is really sweet, Tobin, and you have this sweet relationship with them, and you’re so different than who I thought you were. In a good way,” she added with a soft smile.

Tobin knew that it was a compliment, but she was deeply curious. “What do you mean, Chris?”

“You’re complicated and layered, and I like it. You’re so much more than this fun, charming soccer star. There’s a lot to know about you, Tobin Heath, and I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface.”

Tobin looked down at the comforter on her bed as she asked nervously, “And you want to know more?”

Christen hummed with a cute little smile. “I would kiss you again but you’re not allowed to kiss girls in your room.”

She rolled her eyes with a huff. “Jeffrey is such a little tattletale.”

Christen giggled as she got to her feet. She extended her hand and offered a big smile. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and help your mom with the food.”


	8. I was running, you were walking...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen gets asked on not one, but two, dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blessing you with another (short) chapter.

Christen whined and tangled her hands in Tobin’s hair as the girl found a sensitive spot on her neck. “I’m ticklish there,” she breathed, “be careful.”

Tobin responded with a gentle roll of her hips and her tongue coming out to soothe the area that she had just nipped with her teeth. “I know, baby, that’s why I like kissing you there.”

Christen shivered at the pet name and gripped Tobin tighter, wrapping her legs around the girl’s waist. “Don’t leave a hickey. Dad will kill me, and you.”

Tobin chuckled against her neck and mischievously responded, “But what if I want to anyway?”

“Well you can’t there.”

Tobin pulled away to look at her with twinkling brown eyes. “Is that a proposition?”

She smiled coyly and ran a hand through her hair. “Maybe.”

Tobin licked her lips and there was an expression on her face that Christen was slowly becoming familiar with. “Can I pick where?”

Christen thought for a moment before she nodded. Whatever game they were playing was incredibly sexy.

Tobin bounced up into a sitting position and grinned down at her excitedly. She dropped her hands to the waistband of Christen’s jeans and continued to smile. “Can I take these off?”

Christen nodded again, it was hard to deny Tobin’s spirited grin. She arched her hips off of the bed to help her pull her jeans down her legs and then she was lying on her bed in the sports bra and baggy tank top that she had changed into after practice and a pair of grey cotton panties.

Tobin just looked at her with that heated gaze before she laid back down and peppered kisses along her abdomen. She dropped her wandering mouth to her hip, where her pelvis formed the ‘V’ shape that descended into her underwear. Christen shivered as Tobin opened her mouth and sucked, hard. Her hipbones were fairly prominent and Tobin seemed to like that if the flick of her tongue was any indication.

Crystal was definitely going to give her hell for this when she changed in the locker room tomorrow, but it was so, so hot. She would definitely let Tobin leave a hickey wherever she wanted in the future, out of the prying eyes of her father of course.

After several excruciating minutes, Tobin lifted her head with a proud grin. “Mission accomplished. You are now the recipient of a hickey from Tobin Heath.”

Christen rolled her eyes as she light-heartedly pushed her hand against Tobin’s forehead. “What a privilege,” she drawled sarcastically.

Tobin laughed and planted a gentle kiss on her mouth. “Can I tell you how much I love your body now?”

Tobin loved complimenting her – her brain, her body, her play on the tennis court – but it never failed to make her shy and embarrassed. 

And feel like she was in way over her head with this girl.

“I think I should put my clothes back on before people come home,” she responded quietly.

She knew that Tobin disguised her disappointment with a smile. She sat up on the bed with crossed legs and pushed her hair out of her face. Christen, on the other hand, got up off of her bed and pulled her jeans back on. She stepped closer to the bed and was not surprised when Tobin pulled her in with both hands on her hips. Hands that quickly moved around to cradle her ass. She had to smile at Tobin’s preoccupation with her butt.

“Have I told you today that you’re so pretty?”

Christen gently brushed the tips of her fingers along Tobin’s cheeks before she dipped her hand underneath her t-shirt and pulled on the chain around her neck. She used the leverage to tilt Tobin’s head up for a kiss that she quickly deepened. “You’re awfully cute when you talk like that,” she murmured.

Tobin smiled (a little goofy, a little dopey, a lot adorable). “Let me take you out right now.”

“But it’s a school night,” she frowned.

“I won’t keep you out late,” the soccer player laughed. “I’ll have you home by nine. I promise.”

Tobin took her to a diner not that far from her house and ordered burgers, milkshakes, and three different kinds of fries.

“A little birdie told me that you really like fries,” Tobin grinned.

Christen smiled and happily clapped her hands together. “French fries are so good,” she practically moaned.

Tobin looked around the restaurant with wide eyes before she turned back to her and lowered her voice. “You can’t talk like that and expect me not to react, Chris. It’s not fair to do it in a public place.”

Christen giggled and flushed at Tobin’s antics.

They consumed their meal slowly, chatting in between Christen enjoying every single French fry that she touched. The pace of their conversations had changed since she had gone to church with Tobin and her family. When they had first started hanging out, under the guise of their fake relationship, they had always passed the time discussing school and sports, books, movies, music, and their mutual love for the outdoors. But now they talked about things that were much deeper and more intimate, like Tobin’s faith. They also talked about how Tobin missed her sister away at university and Christen’s constant, overwhelming search for perfection on the tennis court. It had become easy to talk about her anxieties and fears when Tobin shared little pieces of herself, like the perfect silence of an empty soccer field. 

Tobin pushed the remnants of her chocolate milkshake towards her with a bright smile. “Tell me about your favourite birthday.”

Christen barely had to think to answer that question. “When I was four, my Mom handed me my first tennis racket for my birthday. She took me to a court that day and just let me hit balls around, for hours.”

They had special conversations like that all of the time now, just for the hell of it, when they weren’t fooling around.

When they finally finished eating, Tobin drove to a secluded football field near her high school and Christen climbed into her lap almost as soon as she shifted the truck into park.

Christen hummed and moaned as Tobin’s talented tongue slipped between her lips and teased the roof of her mouth. She didn’t want to push things as far as they had gone the night of Allie’s party, but she wanted _something_.

And it was clear that Tobin was willing to give her whatever she wanted.

Tobin slipped both of her hands underneath her soft sweater and palmed her breasts over her bra. Christen arched into her touch and tightened her hands where she liked to grip when they kissed – the back of Tobin’s neck.

“This is okay, right?” Tobin gasped in between kisses. “I really like touching you but please, _please_ tell me if it’s too much.”

“It’s not too much,” she assured. She twitched as Tobin tweaked her already stiff nipples. “But you can’t just do that,” she chided playfully.

Tobin grinned up at her devilishly. “I would apologize, but I wouldn’t mean it.”

Christen kissed her, mostly to shut her up, before she had a brilliant idea. “Let’s see how you like it, Tobin Heath.”

The look that Tobin gave her was one of confusion, with her big, brown eyes and eyelashes that seemed to go on for miles. She quickly understood what was about to happen when Christen slipped a hand inside her joggers.

“Oh,” Tobin sighed as her head fell back against the headrest. “Yes, this is definitely putting me in my place.”

“Shut up,” Christen muttered with a smile as she pressed their mouths together. 

“Chris!”

Christen turned around at the sound of her name and greeted the caller with raised eyebrows. “Oh, hi Bram.” She hitched her backpack higher up on her shoulder as he jogged down the hallway towards her. “How are you?”

“I’m doing really good,” he answered with a sincere smile. “How are you? I watched your match Tuesday evening. You were terrific.”

“Oh, thank you,” she whispered as she blushed uncontrollably. She never knew how to handle people telling her that they had spent time watching her play. “We are having a good season,” she tried to deflect. “And so are you!” 

He nodded with a happy smile and answered modestly. “Yeah, we’re doing alright.” He shifted his feet and gestured in front of them. “Where are you headed? Can we walk and talk?”

“I’m headed to the library, and yeah, you can walk me there.”

They made small talk about their classes as they walked across the quad. She wasn’t entirely sure where this conversation was headed or what purpose it was supposed to serve until Bram cleared his throat and stopped in his tracks.

“So I haven’t been doing the best job of being your friend.”

Christen stopped walking as well and turned to her ex-boyfriend with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean?”

“When we broke up, I said that I really wanted to be friends and I’ve been doing a pretty bad job at that.”

“It’s okay,” she shrugged, “senior year is busy.”

Bram shook his head stubbornly. “I’ve just been a little afraid I think.” Before she could ask him what he was afraid of, he asked her a question. “So, I was wondering if you would like to go to the Snowball with me?”

The Snowball was the cheesy name for the winter dance that their school held just before Christmas holidays, and the winter dance was for Seniors only. Seniors and their dates.

They really had done a terrible job of being friends since they had ended their relationship and they had been such good friends before. Maybe the dance would be a step in the right direction.

“Sure.” She offered a bright smile and slipped both of her hands into the front pocket of her hooded sweater. “That sounds like fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Tobin's reaction will be?!


	9. You always look so inviting...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin lets herself experience what it's like to truly be in a relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluff, a little smut.

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her.”

Tobin cautiously lifted her head to catch her friends’ reactions to her revelation, and it wasn’t pretty. Allie dropped the apple that she was eating on the ground, Alex sat in stunned silence, and Kelley fell off of the skateboard she was on and just managed to stop herself from face-planting on the pavement. The defender jumped to her feet quickly and brushed off her shirt and pants all while mumbling that she was good.

“I’m fine. I’m good. I’m good.”

They were all eating lunch outside today, with Kelley restlessly fooling around with Tobin’s skateboard, and maybe she hadn’t picked the best moment to make that confession. But it had been weighing on her heart for days now.

She was in love with Christen’s pretty eyes, competitive streak, and open mind. Or at least she was pretty sure that she was in love. She had never felt like this before. Ever.

She felt happy and content when she played FIFA on PlayStation with Christen and her often annoying little brother. She didn’t complain when Christen made her do homework. She spent hours thinking about things that she could write or draw, and Christen’s reactions when she gave the little gifts to her. She wanted to talk to her all the time, in person or over text, social media, whatever. It didn’t matter, and it didn’t matter what they talked about.

And when they kissed…

Tobin never wanted to stop kissing her.

Allie was the first one to speak. “You’re in love with her?” She asked quietly.

Tobin nodded slowly, but confidently. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure.”

Allie smiled and it quickly took over her entire face. “Harry,” she sighed, “that’s amazing.”

Tobin shrugged bashfully and played with a loose thread on her jeans. She could feel three pairs of eyes on her so she ducked her head and rearranged her beanie. “It’s just,” she began softly. “It means something that someone like her sees something in me. You know?” She nervously looked up and Kelley was looking at her with the softest expression while Allie placed a hand over her heart with a dramatic tilt of her head. “Okay,” Tobin began with a bit of a forced laugh, “stop being all sappy and shit. It’s not a big deal.” She hopped off of the bench and stole her skateboard back from Kelley. “I have a free period now but you losers should get to class.”

Kelley groaned as she looked at her watch. “Shit! Ms. Anderson is going to kill me if I’m late for English again!” She grabbed Allie by the hand and pulled the blonde to her feet. “Come on, Al. We gotta sprint there. Race ya!”

Allie rolled her eyes before she swung her backpack onto her shoulders and raced after the energetic defender.

Tobin was surprised that Alex stayed with her, even while she focused exclusively on the footwork on her skateboard. 

After a pointed silence, she heard, “Tobs?”

She finally glanced up and saw that Alex was staring right at her. “Yeah?”

“You’re in love with her?”

Tobin self-consciously fixed her beanie once more and nodded. “Yeah, I’m in love with her.” Alex frowned and Tobin’s reaction was to fidget uncomfortably and bite out, “Why? What does it matter to you?”

Alex looked hurt by her response and Tobin felt a wave of guilt. “I’m happy if you’re happy, Tobin.”

The midfielder instantly scoffed, “You don’t like her so don’t suddenly pretend that you do.”

“I don’t like how you are around her,” Alex admitted.

Tobin was about to interrupt to defend herself, but Alex kept talking.

“You’re so happy and affectionate, so obviously into her, and I know I’ve been a complete and total bitch, but I didn’t anticipate it hurting quite this much.”

Tobin hopped off of her skateboard and stared at Alex (her friend, teammate, and former crush) in silence. She didn’t know what to say and she wasn’t sure if she was capable of forming words anyway.

“It feels like the door is closed on us,” Alex continued sadly, “and I wasn’t ready for it.”

Alex slowly got to her feet, clearly intending to walk away, and that made something in Tobin snap. “Hey! That’s not fair!” Alex’s eyes widened and Tobin softened her voice. “You closed the door on us, not me. I told you that I wanted you and you made it pretty clear that you wanting me back was impossible and ridiculous.” She took a deep breath before she spoke again, almost in a whisper. “That’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex rushed out before she actually walked away this time.

Tobin was lost in her head all day, even as she sat on the end of Christen’s bed and tried to focus on the flash cards that Christen had made her for her Biology quiz next week. She had seen the dark-haired girl periodically looking at her out of the corner of her eye or she would look up for a little too long when she turned the page of the novel that she was reading for her English class. If Tobin was honest, she appreciated the silence, and she appreciated that Christen hadn’t pushed her to talk yet. Even when she had shown up at Chadwick with a weak smile and sullen body language.

About ten minutes later, Christen laid her bookmark between her pages and placed her book on the bedside table. She crawled towards Tobin slowly and gently nudged her thigh.

“How are you doing?” She asked in a soft, sweet voice. “Want me to quiz you?”

Tobin shook her head. “No, I’m okay. These flash cards are awesome.” She puckered her lips for a kiss and Christen pushed herself forward with a giggle to give her a quick peck. “Thank you.”

“For the flash cards or the kiss?”

“Both.” She puckered her lips again and playfully batted her eyelashes. “One more?”

With another adorable giggle, Christen obliged.

“Is something bugging you, Tobs?” Christen finally asked when she settled with her legs crossed underneath her.

“I just had a really weird day,” she admitted with a sigh.

Christen reached forward and soothingly rubbed her thigh. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Tobin considered that while chewing on her bottom lip before she shook her head confidently. “No, it’s better now.” She smiled widely and leaned forward to give Christen another quick kiss in thanks.

“Good, because I had an idea to help you study Bio.”

She knew by the flush on Christen’s cheeks and the coy smile playing across her face that they were definitely not talking about her flash cards. Tobin neatly stacked them together and wrapped a rubber band around the study tool before she casually tossed them over her shoulder. “I really love how much you love studying.”

Christen giggled as Tobin pulled her into her lap and wrapped her arms around her waist. The tennis player threaded her fingers through long brown hair, Tobin’s beanie long discarded, as she leaned in for a long, slow kiss.

“Baby,” Tobin groaned. “You know what would really help? If we took off all our clothes.”

She figured if she was reaching she may as well reach for the moon.

Christen looked thoughtful before she smirked. “We could go to the jacuzzi?” She dragged her fingers along Tobin’s jaw and then over her bottom lip. “My Dad has an important business dinner so my parents won’t be home until late.”

Christen. Swimsuit. Water. No parents. 

She liked all of those things.

“What about your sister?” She asked unevenly, her breathing had certainly picked up in the past several minutes.

“I may have bribed her to stay at a friend’s,” Christen admitted shyly.

Tobin arched an eyebrow and tightened her fingers on slim, yet shapely hips. Well, that information was… interesting.

She licked her lips slowly. “I don’t have a suit.”

“You can have one of mine,” Christen responded eagerly. 

Tobin didn’t require any more persuading. Christen handed her a black two-piece and she changed in the bedroom while Christen headed to the bathroom. She patiently waited on the bed and she was thankful that she was sitting down when Christen returned to the bedroom in a red, string bikini. Tobin’s eyes flitted from her thighs, to her hips, to her collarbone, to her hair pulled back in a tidy ponytail, to that freckle just above her right breast. Her eyes couldn’t decide where to linger and she couldn’t decide where she wanted to kiss first. 

“Holy crap,” she exhaled, “you are so…”

Tobin had always struggled a little with her words.

She stood up to meet Christen halfway to the door and she placed both of her hands on her waist, her thumbs rubbing into the soft skin. “Let me try this again,” she started. “You are so breathtaking.”

Christen turned her head bashfully and mumbled a thank you. Her hands drifted over Tobin’s biceps and her forearms, and finally landed on her abdomen. “You are so hot.”

Tobin laughed and pulled her into an eager kiss. “If we don’t leave this room right now, I’m never letting you leave,” she threatened through kisses and soft nips to her bottom lip.

With another melodious giggle, Christen grabbed her hand and started to lead her towards the door. 

Tobin unashamedly let her eyes fall to her girlfriend’s incredible ass.

Tobin wasn’t sure why they had never taken advantage of the Press’ jacuzzi before, but she knew that they would encourage it in the future. She let her body sink into the water as she draped both of her arms along the edges of the tub and looked at Christen with a challenging smirk. The dark-haired girl sitting across from her simply shook her head and played with the ends of her hair.

“What are you thinking?” Tobin asked curiously.

“I’m laughing at you,” Christen shot back, “what are you thinking?”

“What are five things that you would want if you were stranded on a desert island?”

Christen looked at her like it was an awfully strange question, which it was, but she indulged her with a response regardless.

“Umm my planner, definitely, and my dogs, so I guess that’s three, right?” Tobin nodded in confirmation. “And a product to keep my hair under control because a desert island would not be kind to my curls.” Tobin smiled big and wide at that and patiently waited for the last item. “And sunscreen!”

Tobin grinned. “So practical!”

Christen shrugged. “Well I could do so much yoga on a desert island. I would be occupied. It would be peaceful!”

Tobin smiled fondly, “You are something else.”

Christen playfully splashed her and returned the question. “Okay, your turn.”

“A soccer ball, obviously,” she answered immediately. “And something so that I could listen to music. That would be a necessity. This necklace,” she added as she touched the cross around her neck. “And my collection of _Harry Potter_ books, and you.”

She said it so casually, having prepared this moment and this conversation, and she still wasn’t sure what kind of reaction Christen would have.

Christen stared at her, blinking slowly, and not giving away anything in her facial expression. And time seemed to drag. Tobin began to feel uncomfortable, fidgety and itching, and she fought the urge to bolt out of the jacuzzi and run down the street.

Christen _finally_ gave her an answer when she scooted closer and reached across until both of her hands were cupping Tobin’s face. “I didn’t know you were an option on my desert island,” she whispered with a soft smile.

Tobin rolled her eyes and her snarky comeback was silenced by a kiss.

“You’re so sweet,” Christen continued in a murmur. “Let’s go back upstairs.”

Tobin was not used to feeling so out of control in this aspect of a relationship, but as Christen kissed down her stomach, she felt entirely useless and dumbfounded. She mindlessly nodded when Christen asked if she could take off her swimsuit bottoms and all that she could do was prop herself up onto her elbows so that she could watch, everything.

Christen pressed a kiss to her hip before she looked up at her with a timid expression. “You’ll tell me what you like, and… what you don’t like…” She trailed off nervously. “And if I do anything wrong. You’re really quiet; am I already doing something wrong?”

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Tobin exhaled straightaway. “I’m already so wet just from kissing you. I’m gonna come so fast, it’s going to be so embarrassing.”

Christen’s cheeks coloured instantly. “Oh. Umm… do you want me to stop?”

Tobin looked down at Christen, lying between her legs, with her shy, nervous, and yet totally sexy demeanour. “I did _not_ say that,” she chuckled huskily. “I want to do this, as long as you want to,” she added in a rush of breath.

The dark-haired girl nodded. “I want to.”

Tobin opened her mouth to speak again, but all that she could do was throw her head back in some combination of ecstasy and agony as Christen lowered her head and kissed the very inside of her thigh, as high up as she could without kissing Tobin exactly where she wanted.

“Chris,” she moaned, “just please don’t tease… don’t…” Her hips jerked off of the bed when Christen elegantly brushed a tongue through her folds. She reached for Christen’s hand, placed on her stomach, and entwined their fingers. “Oh shit.” She liked it fast and a little rough, no hesitation when it came to the pressure on her clit, and Christen seemed to figure that out all too quickly. “Shit, you’re a fast learner… don’t stop, baby… just right there… like that… oh fuck!”

Tobin squeezed her eyes shut and fell back onto the bed. She raised her arms above her head and shivered as she felt Christen pepper kisses on her stomach, over her breasts, across her collarbone, and finally on her mouth.

“Fuck,” Tobin exhaled as Christen continued to kiss her. She even lacked the energy to kiss her back. “I told you I was going to come like a fourteen year old boy. What was that? Where did you learn that?” She asked in disbelief.

Christen grinned as she trailed her fingers along Tobin’s stomach, damp from the hot tub and sweat, and rested her head on Tobin’s shoulder. “I read an article,” she admitted quietly.

“Wow. You really do like to study. That’s super hot.”

The thought of Christen reading anything like that and thinking about her was... Well...

Christen’s hand dropped lower and lower, and Tobin arched an eyebrow in question.

“What ya up to, pretty girl?” She asked with a kiss to her temple.

“Can I put my fingers inside you? Would that be okay?”

Tobin could hear the apprehension in Christen’s voice and she quickly reassured her. “Yes, baby, please fuck me hard.”

Christen propped herself up on an elbow and admonished her with a stare that was supposed to be stern. “Don’t talk like that.”

“Because it turns you on,” she smirked.

Christen didn’t respond, but she shyly turned her head and placed a kiss to the corner of her jaw.

“You’re such a good girl that you like it when I talk a little dirty,” Tobin continued.

“Tobin,” she squeaked. “Stop.”

Tobin decided that she would get in one more comment before she behaved. “Maybe you should sit on my face to shut me up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's true, you will have to wait a little while for the potential Bram drama.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter regardless!


	10. I thought love was black and white...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen finds herself falling harder and harder for Tobin, until she has a surprising conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is Chapter 10, and about the halfway point of this story, I thought I would give you the title playlist thus far.
> 
> 1 - "Call You Mine" - The Chainsmokers ft. Bebe Rexha  
2 - "In Common" - Alicia Keys  
3 - "The Mixed Tape" - Jack's Mannequin  
4 - "Just Like Heaven" - The Cure  
5 & 6 - "Need You Tonight" - INXS  
7 - "Don't Wait" - Dashboard Confessional  
8 - "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" - Adele  
9 - "Hurts So Good" - John Mellencamp  
10 - "Where I Stood" - Missy Higgins

“Just two more serves, honey.”

Christen nodded at her father’s instruction before she walked back to the service line and took a ball out of her pocket. This relaxed, early morning practice with her Dad at the tennis court down the street was part of her game day routine, and had been since she was seven. She would never work herself too hard, some light rallying to get a feel for her shot selection, and of course, some time devoted to her serve, which was becoming the most important part of her game besides her quickness.

She served two more balls, hitting the centre line both times, before she walked to her Dad and accepted the towel that he offered.

“Good job, sweetie,” he smiled. “Very consistent.”

She smiled back and towelled off. She unintentionally pushed the wide strap of her tank top to the side and didn’t miss the way that her father’s eyes zeroed in on something around her collarbone. She immediately glanced down and blushed at what her father was so obviously staring at.

“What is that, young lady?”

Christen, still blushing, fixed her shirt and shook her head. “Curling iron burn,” she muttered in embarrassment.

She knew that he didn’t believe her, but she was _not_ having _this_ conversation with her Dad. And it wasn’t even her fault, it was Tobin’s. That girl really couldn’t keep her mouth to herself. She was very _appreciative_ and _enthusiastic_. And the hickey on her collarbone was definitely not the only one currently on her body.

“Christen,” he spoke sternly.

“Daddy, no,” she begged. “I don’t want to talk about this. But it’s not like she can get me pregnant.”

Her father winced dramatically. “Okay, now _I_ don’t want to talk about this.”

Christen laughed loudly as they walked off the court. She hadn’t anticipated that getting out of that lecture would be quite so easy.

“Can you drop me off at Tobin’s? Please?”

Her Dad caved easily and she smiled triumphantly. Even though she had an important match this evening, she wanted to see her girlfriend. She wouldn’t be able to go home and focus anyway, with Tobin and everything that they had done lately on her mind. Their physical relationship had moved forward leaps and bounds and she found herself to be a tad one-track minded. Something that she had never experienced before. She had never found herself thinking about sex like this.

Tobin was so sweet and patient with her, especially when it came to things that she had never done before, which was really everything in the girl-on-girl department. Somehow, Tobin never made her feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. She teased and she joked, and she talked endlessly in a way that she didn’t in any other situation, but that was almost part of her charm, and sometimes Christen found herself responding to it in overwhelmingly positive ways. 

Tobin was a great teacher, and a very eager participant.

And she had the hickeys to prove it. 

Christen walked up Tobin’s driveway slowly to where Tobin was peering under the hood of her truck. She was wearing ripped jeans with a sleeveless, black t-shirt and her hair was pulled back into a half-bun, half-ponytail. She was quick to slip her arms around Tobin’s waist and rest her chin on her shoulder.

“My girlfriend is so hot,” she declared.

She could hear, and feel, Tobin chuckle. “Hi, babe. I just changed the oil in Mia here, which means that I am pretty dirty.”

Christen giggled, “I didn’t know your truck had a name. A girl’s name!”

Tobin laughed before she gently lowered the hood and turned in Christen’s arms. They kissed in greeting and Tobin rested her hands low on Christen’s back. Christen really didn’t care that she was dirty, not one little bit. Christen deepened the kiss until she pulled away with a flirty smile.

“Is Mia all taken care of now?”

Tobin nodded. “She is. How was your practice? Are you ready for tonight?”

“Yeah, I feel really good,” she answered confidently. “So I thought I would come by and see you before I went home to get ready for the match.”

“You need a hard chill day.”

She furrowed her brow in confusion. “I need a what?”

“A hard chill day,” Tobin laughed. “It’s what I do before a really big soccer game. I’ll play a little PlayStation, take a nap, watch some TV. Nothing too crazy.” 

“Ah, I see. Nothing that gets your heart rate up too high, huh?” Tobin nodded in confirmation.

She and Tobin had drastically differing pre-game rituals. Christen had an omelet for breakfast, a light morning practice, she read, she walked the dogs, her mother always made her chicken, rice, and salad for lunch, she usually did about an hour of homework before she completed a few chores, and then she did some meditation and breathing exercises before she had to leave the house.

“So,” she began as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “A hard chill day means no fooling around then?”

Tobin’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Oh, well, then maybe not?”

Christen laughed as she slipped both of her arms around Tobin’s waist and kissed her jaw. “I’d be happy to play some PlayStation with you and Jeffrey. We can fool around tonight, after I win.”

“I like the sound of that,” Tobin muttered as Christen grabbed her hand and led her into the house.

“Your girl is clocking you.”

Christen lifted her head from where she had been focused on the floor so that she could feel the stretch in her hamstrings. “Excuse me?” She questioned with a laugh.

Crystal looked down at her with a laugh. “Tobin is here and she’s staring at your ass.”

Christen stood up straight and looked over her shoulder, towards the stands. Sure enough, Tobin had arrived, she had brought Kelley along, she was sitting next to Julie, and she was indeed staring at her ass. Christen smirked and raised an eyebrow in challenge. Tobin simply smiled back and offered up a casual wave of both of her hands.

Christen grinned to herself before she returned to her warmup. If Tobin wanted to act like watching her play tennis was like flirting then she was ready to play her very best. This matchup was supposed to secure their spot in regionals and she now had great motivation.

She took to the court with even more confidence than usual.

She felt graceful, quick, and in control with a racket in her hand. She felt like she had great command of her forehand and her backhand had never felt so stable and dependable. As her backhand slice dropped right on the line, she walked back to the service line with a grin that bordered on cocky. She could hear her Dad whooping and she knew, without even looking, that Tobin was grinning too. 

She served for the match and then she shook hands – three aces and a serve and volley. She politely shook the chair umpire’s hand before she took her victory moment and waved to the crowd. She waved a little longer in Tobin’s direction and before she walked back to her chair, she sent her a wink.

What she failed to notice was Bram sitting three rows above Tobin with a surprised smile on his face.

Normally, after a win, her parents would take her out for a celebratory treat, but tonight, with adrenaline still coursing through her veins, hanging out with her parents was not what she wanted to do. She told her family that she was going out with Crystal, Julie, Kelley, and Tobin for her traditional post-win celebration, but she and Tobin quickly ditched their friends for the backseat of Tobin’s truck.

“Watching you be all competitive and cocky was so sexy,” Tobin muttered as she kissed down Christen’s throat and pulled on the zipper of her jacket. “So, so sexy. Winning is so sexy.”

Christen giggled and tipped her head back to give her girlfriend more access. She knew how turned on she got from watching Tobin play soccer so she could imagine what the other girl was feeling right now.

“I kinda feel bad ditching our friends,” Christen commented.

“I don’t,” Tobin scoffed, while her fingers slipped inside the back of Christen’s leggings. “Kelley is good at entertaining people, they’ll be fine. Promise.”

Christen opened her mouth to speak again, but Tobin stopped her by pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. So maybe she wasn’t _that_ worried about her friends. She wrapped her arms tightly around Tobin’s broad shoulders and pressed their bodies as flush together as she could from where she was sitting on Tobin’s lap in Mia’s backseat.

“Chris.” Tobin pulled away with an awfully serious look on her face. “I really liked watching you play tennis.”

“Better than soccer?” She teased.

Tobin shook her head with a snort. “Definitely not, but that’s not what I meant. I mean that I like watching you play tennis, and cheering you on, and just being a fan of someone I really care about.”

Tobin’s voice was soft, and her eyes were big and gentle, and she was really starting to see that Tobin Heath was truly a considerate, affectionate, and thoughtful person. None of it was an act. She wasn’t trying to persuade her into going on a date and there wasn’t anyone to make jealous anymore. Everything about Tobin was genuine and authentic, and she loved it. She felt like she kept seeing different aspects of Tobin’s vast personality and each and every one was worth falling for.

“You’re so sweet,” she sighed. “God,” she sighed again, “no wonder I wanna take my clothes off for you.”

Tobin grinned and her eyes widened dramatically. “Man, if only I had figured out this whole being sweet thing before,” she joked sarcastically. "This stuff really works."

Christen playfully smacked her shoulder before she leaned forward to kiss her. “Keep that superpower to yourself,” she whispered.

Christen gave Tobin a heated kiss goodbye before she hopped out of the truck and skipped up her driveway. She opened the door and heard her mother’s voice from the kitchen.

“Oh, there she is. Chrissy! Come to the kitchen. Your friend is here.”

Christen walked into the kitchen, a grin from her evening still firmly in place. She looked at the athletic girl with long brown hair sitting on a stool across from her mother and her smile slowly started to disappear. Her mouth dropped open in shock when the surprise visitor turned to face her.

“Alex?”

Alex Morgan smiled weakly. “Hey Christen, I was hoping that we could talk?”

Christen nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, sure,” she answered as she moved farther into the room.

Her mother gave her a smile and a shoulder squeeze as she left the kitchen. Christen slowly moved into the seat that her mother had occupied and looked at Alex expectantly. She had so many thoughts that she definitely wasn’t going to be the one to start. What was Alex Morgan doing in her house? What did she want to talk about? Didn’t Alex Morgan hate her? Did she come here to get into a fight because Christen had delicate wrists and she wasn’t sure if she could throw a proper punch and not hurt herself. She was a tennis player and her wrists were important to her.

“I’m in love with Tobin.”

“Woah,” Christen breathed, “getting right to the point.”

Alex nodded and brushed both of her hands through her perfectly straightened hair. “I’m sorry.”

Christen truly wanted to parrot back at her. She wanted to say, “Sorry? You’re sorry? You show up at my house and tell me that you’re in love with my girlfriend and all that you have to say is you’re sorry?” But there was something deeply conflicted in Alex’s expression. She definitely had never seen the fierce, confident striker look so small, and scared. All of Christen’s anger and frustration deflated and she just felt sympathetic and sad. 

“This can’t be easy for you,” she replied softly. “This is actually really brave.”

Alex wrinkled her nose before she groaned. “You’re really nice. Why are you so nice?”

Christen laughed, “Do you want me to be less nice?”

“For this conversation, yeah,” Alex nodded. “Especially since I’ve been going out of my way to be especially mean to you. I’m not usually that bitchy.”

“You know, I had gathered that. I could see that you were jealous.”

“I didn’t exactly hide it well,” Alex muttered. “Again, I’m sorry.”

Christen was sure that spending her Saturday night talking to Alex Morgan in her kitchen, complete with hot chocolate and cookies, was the strangest thing that she had ever done. As Alex told her everything that she had ever wondered about her relationship and history with Tobin, things became more and more clear.

First, Alex Morgan was actually very different from what she had experienced so far.

Second, Alex Morgan was head over heels for Tobin.

Third, she wasn’t sure how, or if, Tobin’s feelings for Alex had changed, but they deserved to be acknowledged. 

Fourth, Christen wasn’t sure if she was capable of loving Tobin the way that Alex did. And that wasn’t fair to Tobin. Tobin, who was so wonderful, and kind, and talented, and sweet, and beautiful, and _herself_. That wasn’t fair at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if this was the drama that any of you expected, but here we go! Incoming angst! 
> 
> And yes, Tobin named her truck after Mia Hamm.


	11. Said sit down with me before you go...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin confronts a lot of pent up emotion.

Tobin stared at Christen reading on the sofa in her basement with a frown. Something was off, and had been for a few days now. Tobin just couldn’t put her finger on it, but something about their current dynamic made her uneasy. Christen was still gentle, sweet, and kind, but she didn’t seem as giddy and energetic as she had been so far in their relationship. And she certainly hadn’t been as affectionate in the last few days.

So Tobin was definitely worried.

With a deep breath, she tossed her Math assignment aside and scooted down the couch, closer to Christen. She wrapped a hand around Christen’s knee and smiled softly. “Hey there.”

Christen glanced up with a soft smile of her own. “Hi. How is Math going?”

“I’m almost done,” Tobin shrugged. “Can we take a break?”

After a moment of thought, Christen nodded and gingerly placed the books in her lap on the floor. Her smile widened as Tobin’s fingers danced up her thigh and onto her stomach. “Don’t you dare,” she warned playfully.

“What?” Tobin asked with a chuckle, her fingers sliding over the material of Christen’s thin t-shirt. She figured that Christen was outrageously ticklish. There was a spot on her neck that always made her giggle and squirm; the thin skin behind her kneecap made her sequel. It stood to reason that her abdomen would be ticklish as well.

She didn’t wait for Christen to answer her question before she rested her knees on the sofa cushion on either side of Christen’s hips and began to tickle her sides with both hands. Her grin widened as Christen giggled and squealed, and writhed beneath her.

“Tobin… Tobin… stop… please, please,” Christen begged as her giggles became more breathless.

Tobin reluctantly stopped and rested her large hands on Christen’s ribcage with the tips of her fingers brushing the undersides of her breasts. “You’re so cute,” she sighed.

The dark-haired girl panted and fought to catch her breath. She smiled as she placed a hand on Tobin’s chest, beneath her collarbone. “You can’t use that against me all the time. I’m at a disadvantage.”

Tobin nodded solemnly and held out her pinky. “Deal.”

Christen grabbed the outstretched finger with her own pinky and smiled brightly. “It’s a sacred promise now.”

Tobin leaned forward to kiss her knuckles and then she placed a kiss on Christen’s lips. She had just put more pressure into the kiss when she felt two hands squeeze her shoulders. “Something wrong?” She questioned quietly.

“No,” Christen answered with a quick shake of her head. “I just really have to pee, I think the tickling put some pressure on my bladder.”

Tobin laughed awkwardly and moved into a sitting position. Christen shyly tucked her hair behind her ears and then she stood up to go to the bathroom.

While she waited, Tobin brushed her own hair out of her face and stretched her long arms. She mindlessly thrummed her hands against the back of the couch as she hummed and kicked her feet out in front of her. She grew bored quite quickly so she did not surprise herself when she began to fidget and toss and turn on the furniture. As she moved, her eyes fell to Christen’s books on the floor.

She squinted and stared and read the words on the loose piece of paper on top of the pile very slowly. She had to read it three times to be sure that she understood.

She had never been very good at Shakespeare.

But it was definitely written in that style of English, and it spoke of beautiful hands, and eyes as deep as oceans, and silky hair, and it was definitely a love poem.

For Christen.

And judging by the name written at the top of the sheet, in surprisingly elegant handwriting, it was from Bram. Freakin’ Bram.

Tobin clenched her teeth and averted her gaze when she heard the sound of a door closing. She returned to sitting on the other side of the couch and plastered on a smile as Christen returned to the room. Her smile turned a tad more genuine when Christen sat down beside her and cuddled into her side.

She nuzzled underneath her chin before she spoke, “Tobin, would you be interested in going dress shopping with me? Maybe tomorrow or the next day?”

Tobin was instantly intrigued by the idea of watching Christen try on clothes. Even if she found shopping to be incredibly boring, she could see a positive side to going shopping with Christen. She draped an arm over the tennis player’s shoulders and began to rub her arm. “Sure. What do you need a dress for?”

“Just a school dance,” she answered. “Bram said he has a grey suit, so maybe I’ll buy something black, or blue.”

“Are you going with Bram?” She hoped that her voice sounded merely curious, and not suspicious, or frustrated, or agitated, or any other emotion that was currently zipping through her body.

Christen burrowed deeper into her side and placed a hand on her abdomen. “Mmm hmm,” she hummed. “Just as friends, obviously. It’s a Seniors only dance, so the Seniors usually ask the Juniors, and he asked me to go.”

Tobin really wanted to tighten her hands into fists, but she kept her fingers relaxed and continued to caress Christen’s arm. She wasn’t someone who got jealous – never had been, never would be – that’s why it had been so easy for her to do casual relationships for so long. It didn’t make her blood boil to see someone she liked flirt, or be with someone else, or even dump her. She had always been able to shake all of that off and go with the flow. Even with Alex, she had never felt truly jealous, more sad and disappointed than anything else. 

Yet, a few minutes later, when Christen offhandedly said, “that’s all okay, right?”, she had to force a smile and a nod.

This preppy guy was asking her girl to dances and sending her love poems.

What the hell?

The next day after school, Tobin trekked across the Chadwick campus until she found the soccer field. She saw that the boys team was practicing, like she had hoped, and running through passing drills. She spotted Bram’s dark skin and the top of his head of hair and scowled. As she got closer to the sideline, he wasn’t the only one to take notice of her presence. Most of the boys, and even the coach, turned to her with a curious expression. They didn’t look at her like she was an outsider, which she totally was. They looked at her like she was a guest.

Bram jogged towards her with a happy smile. “Hey Tobin!” He greeted her excitedly. “Are you here to watch Chrissy practice? Do you wanna scrim with us instead?”

Tobin determinedly shook her head and led him away from the field to give their conversation a little privacy. She took a deep breath before she spoke angrily. 

“What do you think you’re doing asking my girlfriend to dances?”

Bram stared at her in shock before his eyes moved side to side in a panic. He clearly wasn’t sure what to say as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly.

“I… um… uh…”

Tobin interrupted him with a strong poke to his shoulder. “And sending her stupid love poems that don’t even make sense?”

Bram chuckled and that made Tobin narrow her eyes in warning. He cleared his throat before he apologized. “I’m sorry, but there’s clearly been a misunderstanding. I won’t put Christen in a weird position like that; I respect her way too much, and frankly, you’re kind of scaring me right now.”

“So what’s the misunderstanding?” Tobin persisted.

“I asked Chrissy to the dance as a friend, and I sent her that poem, which I will admit isn’t the greatest, so that she could help me with it for my Lit Composition class.”

“Oh.”

Tobin crossed her arms over her chest and kicked at a patch of grass.

“You two seem really good together,” Bram added quietly.

She scoffed and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not so sure about that. I feel all weird and out of sorts.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re jealous,” Bram chuckled, “that doesn’t make you all out of sorts.”

Tobin exhaled slowly. “Yeah, I guess,” she mumbled as she uncomfortably scratched the back of her neck. “Were you all crazy like this when you dated her?” She questioned tentatively.

Bram slowly shook his head. “No, I wasn’t, but then again, I wasn’t in love with her like you are.” Tobin was about to ask how exactly he knew that little detail when he smiled broadly and asked, “So you wanna play soccer with us?”

Tobin’s anger had dissipated and she had never been able to turn down an invitation to play. 

She enjoyed her scrim with Bram’s team. One of the guys had given her an extra pair of cleats from his locker and she had gotten in a good run. She had made a few of the defenders look silly, just for fun, but she didn’t show off too much. She brushed her sweaty hair out of her face as she grabbed her backpack and began to trot away from the field. She didn’t count on Bram trailing after her like an eager puppy.

“That was so fun! Did you have fun?”

Tobin looked at him out of the corner of her eye, wary and suspicious. “Yeah, I did,” she replied tentatively.

“You can come by whenever you want! That’d be cool.”

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him with a furrowed brow. “Yeah, okay. So I’m gonna go now.”

He nodded, but he continued to talk. “I just want to clarify that I’m not after Christen. The hardest part of breaking up with her was that I was breaking up with my best friend. I miss her.” He looked down at his feet before his head shot back up and he looked at her in alarm. “But not like that!” He clarified. “I miss spending time with my best friend. She was never into anything we did physically, just so you know.”

Now he was overcorrecting.

“I knew that we weren’t a good fit romantically when I could never get her to—”

Tobin interrupted him with waving hands and a nose wrinkled in distaste. “I get it. You don’t have to draw me a picture,” she grumbled.

Bram blushed furiously. “Sorry, I just wanted to be really clear, and maybe you’ll stop looking at me like you want to punch me.”

“Sorry,” Tobin chuckled.

He shrugged with a laugh of his own. “I get it.”

Bram walked with her all the way to the tennis courts and Christen was clearly surprised to see the two of them together.

“Oh, hi you two,” she smiled as she approached them. She pecked Tobin on the cheek and Tobin was quick to wrap an arm around her waist. “You’re all sweaty, Tobs. What were you doing?”

“She came to our practice,” Bram answered with a happy grin.

Christen raised an eyebrow, but she didn’t prod her on it.

Not until they were alone in Tobin’s truck.

“You played soccer with Bram and the team?” Christen inquired as soon as she had hopped into the cab and closed the door.

Tobin turned the key in the ignition with a nod. “Yeah, it was fun.” She quickly turned her head to see Christen chewing on her bottom lip so she answered the question before it was asked. “I just wanted to talk to him. I was getting a little scared that he was trying to get you back,” she added in a much quieter voice. “So I just wanted to talk.”

Christen reached across the space between them and rested her hand on Tobin’s thigh. “You have nothing to worry about it,” she said as she rubbed her thumb back and forth. “But were you, maybe, feeling a little jealous?”

Tobin shrugged and didn’t say anything, just focused on driving. When she finally pulled into Christen’s driveway, she unbuckled her seatbelt and turned with a sigh.

“Yeah,” she admitted bashfully. “I was definitely jealous, and I didn’t like the feeling.”

Christen looked at her fondly, raised the console, and scooted closer until they were thigh to thigh. The dark-haired girl slowly raised a hand to wrap around her neck and guided her head forward for a kiss. Tobin responded quickly, and enthusiastically, with tongue, and her own hands securely gripped Christen’s waist.

“Nobody looks at me the way you do,” Christen whispered. “Nobody treats me the way you do. Nobody touches me the way you do.” Christen continued to touch the back of Tobin’s neck as she spoke, and Tobin was a sucker for that kind of touch. “You’re really sweet and I like you _so_ much.” She pressed their foreheads together before she seemed to force out, “That’s why we need to talk.”

Tobin didn’t like the statement or the tone it was spoken in.

“We need to talk?” She gulped.

Christen nodded and Tobin desperately held onto her waist to keep her close.

“I need to tell you something,” Christen whispered against her cheek.

“Is it bad?” Tobin felt Christen shake her head ‘no’ in response. “It’s not bad? Then why do you seem so sad?”

Christen shook her head again and pulled back so that Tobin could clearly see her face, her green eyes and brow set in determination. Her hands were still on her waist though and she got a sudden urge to brush away wayward strands from her ponytail and touch her cheek.

“Alex came to talk to me a few days ago.”

Oh. Now she understood why Christen seemed so upset. Tobin swiftly cupped her cheek and brushed her thumb across the smooth skin. “What did she say? Was she a total bitch? I’ll talk to her.”

Christen just shook her head again before she took a deep breath. “No, not at all. She’s stupid in love with you.”

Her immediate reaction was to scoff. “No, she’s not.”

Christen replied adamantly, “She is. We talked for a long time, and you deserve to know.”

Tobin’s head fell back against the headrest and she felt her entire body sag. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with this information, so she had to ask. “What do you want me to say?” She asked in a gravelly voice.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Christen answered with a smile. “But I couldn’t in good conscience keep it to myself.”

She leaned forward and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. Her hands fell to her legs and she tightly gripped her kneecaps as she chewed on her bottom lip. If someone had told her the very same thing a few months ago she would have jumped for joy, literally. It was all that she had wanted since the beginning of high school. She had spent so much time, an embarrassing amount of time, thinking about Alex’s blue eyes, and chestnut hair, and athletic body. The way that she controlled the ball right before she blew by a defender and the way that her fingers dug into her hips when she was drunk and wanted to kiss. She had thought about this, wished for it, dreamt about it. Alex Morgan was in love with her. Alex Morgan _wanted her_. 

But now, that knowledge made her a little sick.

And it hurt a little bit more when Christen started to soothingly rub her back.

“What are you thinking?” The tennis player asked softly.

“I dunno,” she mumbled.

She squeezed her eyes shut when she felt a kiss pressed to the side of her head. Just more evidence that Christen Press was an amazing individual. 

“Why don’t we take a break?” Christen suggested eventually. “You can take some time to think and we can talk about it later.”

Tobin finally raised her head and she felt completely weak and lifeless. Her eyes felt wet and she knew that she probably looked like a mess. Christen gently cradled her face with both hands and kissed her softly.

And Tobin almost melted, or shattered, she wasn’t entirely sure.

“I’m going to go now, okay? Call me later?”

Tobin nodded and then listened to the sound of Christen exiting the truck and closing the door behind her. Alone, she rested her head on the steering wheel once more and took a long, deep breath. She had started her day jealous and infuriated, and just _itching_ to confront Christen’s ex-boyfriend. That encounter had gone surprisingly well and she had felt incredibly secure in her relationship. For about ten minutes.

Now she felt depleted, and speechless, and confused.

It seemed like Christen was giving her an out, the opportunity to let go if she chose, because she was just that _good_.

That’s why she was in love with her.

But she had loved Alex for years. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe you'll still be super angry about this chapter too. We'll see!
> 
> This is a Preath story.


	12. See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen gives Tobin time and space that leads to an emotional conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting! :)

Giving Tobin time and space was hard. Really hard. But she did it because she knew that it was the right thing to do. It would be selfish of her not to allow Tobin time to process something this huge. She didn’t want to rush her, or pressure her, or do anything to make her feel like she was giving her an ultimatum or making her choose. She didn’t want Tobin to feel like it was her or Alex, even though it was, because she wasn’t sure if she would ever win that battle. 

Tobin had never hidden Alex from her. She had always been open and honest about her history with the difficult brunette. It was comforting in the sense that Tobin was clearly not keeping any secrets from her, but it was also terrifying because it meant that Christen knew the exact heavy weight of this new information. She knew _exactly_ how Tobin saw Alex Morgan, and it was incredibly intimidating. She was pretty certain that no one had ever thought about her the way that Tobin thought about Alex. What she felt towards the other girl wasn’t envy or jealousy, it was a sense that she would never measure up. 

She remembered the night that she met Tobin, the same night that she had seen Alex for the first time. Alex, hands down, had been the prettiest and most captivating girl in the room, and she had looked at her with those blue eyes like she was a threat that needed to be dealt with. Alex had given her a look that had called some weird kind of territorial ‘dibs’ on Tobin and maybe that had been at the back of her mind this entire time.

She went back to her old routine for a little while. She focused on school and tennis, and spent a little more time on the court than usual, just so she could focus her mind and not let it wander. She stayed in her room to do a lot of reading, and she deflected her family’s questions about why Tobin hadn’t been around lately.

_“She’s busy with soccer.”_

Julie and Crystal had picked up that something about her mood was off, but they hadn’t pried too much. She appreciated the restraint that her two best friends were showing. It was actually impressive for two people that liked to talk as much as those two.

She was hitting a tennis ball against her garage when she heard a familiar voice behind her. “Uh oh. What’s wrong?”

She caught the ball in her left hand and spun around. “Oh hey Bram.”

She smiled softly at her next door neighbour dressed in blue jeans and a soft looking black sweater. Unscheduled visits at any part of the day were not uncommon between them, but they certainly hadn’t happened in a while. 

“So, what’s wrong?” He asked again as he slipped his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

“What do you mean?” She inquired.

“I’ve seen you play the garage door before,” he explained. “Usually when something is really bothering you.”

Christen smiled sadly. He did know her very well and he was right, she threw herself into tennis when she was upset. She sat down on the edge of her lawn with a sigh and Bram took a spot next to her. She laid her racket and tennis ball down and brushed her bare hands over the grass blades beneath her. “I guess I am a little sad,” she finally admitted in a murmur.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” He asked softly. “You don’t have to,” he added after a pause, “but you can.”

She chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully and twisted the end of her ponytail in her fingers. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell _someone_ what was really going on, but she couldn’t find the words.

Maybe it was a sign from the God that Tobin believed in so fiercely that she lifted her head and heard the rumble of a familiar truck. Tobin pulled into her driveway and hopped out of her truck. The soccer player walked towards them a little hesitantly, with a hand nervously scratching the back of her neck and the other tugging on the hem of her sweater. Tobin looked uneasy and apprehensive, and it made Christen’s stomach churn uncomfortably.

She looked like she was coming with bad news.

“Hey,” she greeted with a weak smile as she stepped up to the two of them sitting on the lawn.

Bram smiled happy and wide. “Hey Tobin.”

Tobin kept her eyes firmly locked on Christen and she awkwardly scuffed her feet against the pavement. “Chris, can we talk?”

Christen nodded and got to her feet. “Yeah, we can.” She glanced down at Bram with a smile. “See you later?” He nodded with a timid smile of his own. She waited until Bram hopped the short fence between their yards before she turned back to Tobin and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. “Do you want to go down to the beach?”

Tobin smiled softly. “I wouldn’t want you to get cold. Why don’t we just go inside? Maybe we can go for a walk after?”

She nodded anxiously, but she reached for Tobin’s hand, and they walked inside. She wasn’t sure where anyone in her household was, including her dogs, but she wasn’t worried about any of that as she walked Tobin to her bedroom and closed the door behind them.

They sat on Christen’s bed, facing each other with their legs crossed, and Christen waited for Tobin to start the conversation. But Christen could see that Tobin was nervously rubbing her hands over her kneecaps, and she was hanging her head so that her hair was shadowing her face, and she just looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“You said you wanted to talk,” Christen began in a soft, soothing voice. 

Tobin lifted her head and nodded. “Yeah, I wanna talk, but I just…I…” She brushed her hair out of her face with a frustrated sigh. “Can I kiss you?” She asked sounding rough and desperate.

Christen nodded, without thinking really, and Tobin surged forward. She cupped Christen’s face in her hands and pressed their mouths together gently. It was long and sweet, with Tobin taking her bottom lip between her own and then her top, measured and methodical, as she brushed her thumbs across her cheeks. When Tobin pulled away, it was almost reluctant, and she wore a frown.

“I love kissing you,” Tobin murmured.

“You say that like it’s the last time you’ll get a chance to do it.”

Tobin murmured again. “I don’t want it to be.” She started to scratch at her covered kneecaps again as she spoke. “I’ve never really wanted to date anyone or be with anyone the way I do with you. Not like this. I…” She sighed again before she crawled to the top of the bed and laid down on her back. “I know I’m being really shitty right now, and I’m sorry.”

Christen laid next to her, on her side, and reached out with her right hand to cover Tobin’s left, which was resting on her stomach. The older girl seemed so tormented and Christen felt awful about it. She squeezed her hand before she spoke, “I don’t like seeing you like this.” She dipped her head and pressed a quick kiss to Tobin’s clothed shoulder. “What are you thinking?” She asked in a whisper.

“I’m thinking that I want to deserve you, but I can’t stop thinking about…”

She trailed off but Christen was smart enough to fill in the blanks. “Alex?” She supplied sadly.

Tobin closed her eyes and nodded. “And I know that’s not fair.”

“It’s okay,” Christen assured her softly. “I mean, everything about us has been about Alex, in a way.”

Tobin rolled over to face her and started to fiercely shake her head. “No, no, that’s not true. The way that I feel about you has nothing to do with Alex. It’s just…”

“It’s Alex,” Christen whispered. She scooted closer until their noses were almost touching and she gently laid a hand on Tobin’s face – Tobin, whose bottom lip was practically trembling and looked like she was a moment away from sobbing. She ran her thumb across the apple of her cheek and forced a bright, happy smile. “We can still be friends, Tobin. It’ll be okay.”

Tobin furrowed her brow before she surged forward to press their mouths together. “I don’t want to be your friend,” she murmured between desperate, hungry kisses.

In a moment of passion, Tobin rolled Christen onto her back and pressed her into the mattress, their hips slotted together and she tangled a hand in her dark ponytail. Christen arched off of the bed as Tobin slipped her tongue into her mouth and kissed her with an intensity that she had never experienced before, like she was trying to convey something that she wasn’t capable of saying. Tobin groaned, as her hips rolled, and Christen _had_ to place both of her hands on her shoulders to slow her down.

“You can’t have me if you’re thinking about her.”

She didn’t want to be anybody’s second choice.

The whisper stilled Tobin’s actions and she rested her forehead against Christen’s with a deep sigh.

“I’m sorry,” Tobin exhaled.

Christen moved her hands up and down Tobin’s back comfortingly. “Have you talked to her?”

Tobin simply shook her head.

“I don’t think,” she started regretfully, “that we can be together until you do.”

Tobin gulped and then asked, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I am,” she replied with a frown. “I don’t want to, but I have to.”

Tobin slowly moved into a sitting position and tried to discreetly wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” she answered quickly.

“I don’t…I-I don’t…” Tobin stopped to groan loudly in frustration as her words failed her. “I don’t even think I want her,” she stated as she brushed her hair out of her face in annoyance. “I want to be with you. You make me feel smart, and special, and wanted. You make me feel like me,” she mumbled with a shrug.

Christen looked down at her bedspread so that she didn’t take in the heartbroken expression on Tobin’s face. She believed what Tobin was saying, but she did have her doubts. There was a part of that could not, would not, get past the idea that Alex was the girl that she always wanted, and she was clearly so conflicted. Tobin could say that she wanted to be with her all day and night, but it meant very little when she looked and sounded _so_ distraught.

After a pause that felt thick and tense, almost stifling, Christen spoke again. “When you picture yourself somewhere and you’re really happy, who’s standing next to you?” Tobin opened her mouth to answer instantly, but Christen reached forward and placed a hand over her eyes while her other fingers touched Tobin’s lips. “Don’t jump to answer me. I want you to really imagine it.”

Christen had no idea what Tobin was imagining. Maybe she was at church. Maybe it was her family. Maybe it had something to do with soccer. Christen didn’t know and she wasn’t about to ask, she just wanted to know if she was there. 

When Tobin didn’t say anything for a very long time, she had her answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you're going to be a little mad at Tobin, but she needs some time to be mopey, sad, and confused. All part of the arc.
> 
> Long live this ship lol.


	13. Careful voice, in the end I'm not the first choice...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin deals with her breakup over the Christmas break.

Tobin spent an entire weekend wallowing in her bedroom. She didn’t touch her soccer ball. She didn’t answer a single text. She laid in her bed, with the covers up over her head, with her Nintendo Switch and a pint of Perry’s favourite ice cream that she had stolen out of the freezer. She had never gone through a real breakup before so she wasn’t sure what she should be doing. So she cried a little, and she stalked Christen’s Instagram a little. She tried not to dwell on the few pictures of the two of them together, but that was impossible. There was one taken after one of her soccer games, where Tobin looked sweaty and completely exhausted, and yet so happy. The other photo that she couldn’t stop staring at was one where Tobin was kissing Christen on the cheek and Christen’s eyes were bright and her smile was so big, and the caption was simply a kissy face emoji. 

“She’s so pretty,” Tobin muttered to herself as she continued to scroll through pictures of Christen with her family, with her dogs, playing tennis, going on vacation.

Her staring and sniffling was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. She didn’t respond, but she did roll over in her bed so that she was facing the door. She offered a faint smile when her little brother poked his head in and looked at her with wide eyes.

“Toby?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“Are you sick?”

Her smile widened just a little at the concern in Jeffrey’s voice. “No, I’m not sick.”

He nervously shuffled his feet before he asked hopefully, “Can I come in and hang out?”

She nodded and threw the covers back with a grin. Jeffrey, now in junior high and doing his best to try and be a cool teenager, acted like he didn’t want to cuddle with his older sisters anymore, but he did. He pushed the door closed behind him, raced to the bed, and jumped onto the mattress. He rolled into her side and practically burrowed himself a hole in her baggy, hooded sweater. He saw her Nintendo Switch on the other side of the bed and his eyes lit up. 

“Wanna play?” Tobin questioned knowingly.

He nodded excitedly so Tobin passed him the device. As he moved his fingers to play Mario Kart, he spoke as well. “If you’re not sick, why have you been in bed all day?”

“I just, uh, don’t feel great I guess.”

“Not even to play soccer?”

“Not even to play soccer,” she chuckled.

His mind went off course so fast that Tobin was stunned by his next line of questioning. “Can Christen come over? We can play PlayStation?”

“Uh,” she cleared her throat and blinked away a few lingering tears. “Christen probably won’t be coming over for a while.”

“Why not?” He responded with a furrowed brow, the same expression that she wore when she was very confused.

“She’s just really busy with tennis right now,” Tobin lied. “She has a lot of important games coming up. I don’t want to distract her.”

“Oh,” Jeffrey answered with his eyes still fixed on the screen. “How are you supposed to be all gross if she’s not here?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” She retorted with a gasp.

He giggled and squirmed away as Tobin tried to tickle him. “You're always kissing in the basement,” he squealed. He looked up at her and made several teasing, kissy faces before he laughed loudly.

“Little spy,” she muttered as she persisted in tickling his abdomen, and he squirmed and kicked to try to get away from her.

She finally let him fall back onto the bed and he looked up at her with a red face and a big smile. “I never told Mom.”

She held out her fist and he bumped his own against it. “Cool, bro.”

“So?” He asked after a pause.

“So what?” Tobin asked in confusion.

“So when are you going to kiss her if she’s not going to come over?”

Tobin couldn’t stop herself from sighing in exasperation. She ran a hand through her hair and finally mumbled, maybe a tad bitterly, “Well maybe I’m not going to kiss her anymore.”

Jeffrey, his attention now firmly back on the Nintendo Switch, wrinkled his nose. “Why not? She’s really pretty.”

“Maybe I want to kiss someone else now.”

Tobin knew that she sounded petulant, and that she was probably arguing with herself more than her little brother, but she was feeling incredibly stubborn for some reason.

“Okay.” Jeffrey just shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal.

And maybe it wasn’t.

Tobin was thankful for the Christmas holidays. They gave her a break from school, time with her family, and time to herself. She basked in the peacefulness and joy of going to church over Christmas and she enjoyed traditions with her family, particularly with her older sister home from school. She didn’t really answer Katie’s excited questions about her “_girrrllllfriend_”, she put on a bright, happy smile when her Mom handed her a cup of hot chocolate and asked her if anything was wrong, and she played with Jeffrey and was happy not to answer any more questions about kissing. The Heaths all had a night of celebration when Tobin got a phone call that she was being invited to a U-20s camp in January. It was a big accomplishment for a player still in high school and Tobin took the time to be excited and grateful for her achievement. 

They didn’t have any soccer practice or training over the holidays so she could vegetate if she wanted, or kick the ball around by herself, which she did in the comfort of her basement. She juggled and juggled, perfecting tricks, and keeping her mind focused on the ball, and on the ball only.

She answered messages from Allie and Kelley, who knew that she and Christen had broken up, but neither of them knew any of the details. Tobin had been tight-lipped and non-responsive about that particularly subject. Allie had offered her a shoulder to cry on if she needed one and Kelley had offered her parents’ liquor cabinet.

Christen had sent her a text wishing her a Merry Christmas and Tobin was sure that she had stared at it for twenty minutes before she sent a reply of similar content. Christen had said that they could be friends, but she just thought that everyone said that. But she should have known that Christen actually meant it because she was so kind and wonderful like that.

The one person that she hadn’t spoken to was Alex. She just wasn’t ready. She didn’t know what to say. Was she just supposed to go with ‘Hey, heard you were in love with me?’ Or was it better to take the approach of ‘I’ve been into you since we met at soccer tryouts in grade nine, but when I finally find a girl I like you decide you want me?’

She was mad at Alex, like really mad.

But she also felt hopeful.

And yet she was so upset that having any of those feelings meant that she couldn’t have Christen. She knew that it wasn’t fair, she got that. It wasn’t fair to Christen to be so focused on Alex and still want to be with her. But she was just a little confused right now and she needed to sort some things out. Couldn’t Christen have fought a little harder to keep her?

Tobin had so many different thoughts swirling in her head that she didn’t even know where to start to separate them, and she certainly didn’t anticipate having to face any of them when she accepted Allie’s invitation to a New Year’s Eve gathering.

Pretty stupid of her really.

She walked into the unfamiliar house behind her blonde-haired friend, and the very first person that she saw was another blonde – Christen’s best friend, Julie. Her stomach lurched, but the perky blonde shot her an excited smile and she waved enthusiastically.

“Hey Tobin!” Julie greeted her as she bounded up to the pair of them. “Chrissy isn’t here yet, but she should be soon!”

Allie turned to Tobin with a confused look, but she was sharp enough to play along. “Yeah, we got here a little early.”

Tobin just nodded bashfully as she pushed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. She hadn’t planned on seeing Christen tonight and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for it.

After some polite small talk, Allie latched onto her elbow and steered her towards the table of hard liquor. “What the hell was that?” She muttered. “Why hasn’t Christen told her friends that you’re broken up?”

Tobin just shrugged before she grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. “I dunno,” she answered honestly.

Allie narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What’s really going on here, Tobin? Did she break up with you or not?”

“She did,” Tobin answered fiercely. She didn’t appreciate being called a liar.

“Why?”

Tobin opened her mouth, but nothing came out, so Allie looked even more frustrated. “Because of Alex,” she finally confessed on an exhale.

“Because of Alex,” Allie repeated in bewilderment.

Tobin didn’t respond. She patiently waited for Allie to put together all of the pieces on her own. When she did, Tobin did not get a response that she was prepared for.

“God, Tobin,” Allie groaned. “You don’t actually think that Alex will ever care about you the way that you care about her?”

Now it was Tobin’s turn to appear confused and frustrated. She didn’t understand why Allie would say something like that. She and Allie had been friends forever, but she knew that Allie and Alex had a really special friendship, much like she and Kelley had a special relationship. Allie loved Alex and would never say a bad word about her, and yet she was telling Tobin that maybe she didn’t know Alex as well as she thought. That she was being what…? Stupid? Naïve? Clueless? Delusional?

“I don’t understand,” she finally answered, sounding quite pathetic.

Allie’s voice softened when she spoke again. “I’m sorry, Harry.” She pulled Tobin into her and wrapped her arms tightly around her torso. “She knows that you’ll do anything for her, Harry,” she whispered. “That’s a really powerful feeling. Have you ever thought about that?”

Tobin pressed her face against Allie’s shoulder with a frown. “No,” she murmured.

Allie rubbed her back and she fell even further into her embrace. Was her tunnel vision really that bad? Did she really look at Alex and just see this dream girl and nothing else?

“I need a drink,” she declared as she pulled away with a forced chuckle.

She immediately brought the beer bottle in her hand to her mouth and chugged half of it. She had some things to think about and maybe alcohol would ease the burden.

Two and a half beers later, she was no more prepared to see Christen, but she wasn’t going to avoid her. She didn’t want to be _that_ person. So, when she walked back into the kitchen and spotted Christen standing at the drinks table, looking a little puzzled, she walked up to her immediately.

Even though she was wearing this pretty purple dress that fell to the middle of her thigh and her natural curls were tumbling down her back.

“Hi,” she croaked.

Christen raised her head and her eyes widened before a smile graced her face. “Hi Tobin! Merry Christmas!”

They awkwardly stood in front of each other, barely a foot apart, before they went in for a hug. Tobin knew that she held on for a beat too long, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to bury her face in Christen’s curls and breathe in the smell of her shampoo.

“So how are you? How are your holidays going?” Christen asked excitedly.

“Good, good,” Tobin answered as she shuffled her feet – a nervous habit. “What about you?”

“Really good,” she replied with a broad grin. “Some much needed downtime with my family and my dogs. We just went out to dinner for my birthday so that was nice.”

“You had a birthday?” Tobin questioned sadly.

Christen’s eyes widened. “Yeah,” she replied slowly, “on the twenty-ninth.”

“Oh.” Tobin looked down at the table in front of them and took a deep breath. For some reason, that really hurt. She really wished that she had been able to spend some time with Christen on her birthday. Tobin wasn’t a big fan of her birthday, but she loved celebrating other people’s birthdays. Especially people that she cared about. “I wish you would have told me.”

“You’re sweet, Tobin.”

Tobin lifted her head and offered a smile small. She glanced at her watch, which read twenty-five minutes to twelve, before she found the right words. “Can we talk? Before midnight? I would really like to talk, maybe clear some things up?”

Christen looked up at her and her expression was almost coy, certainly shy and a little apprehensive. “Are you sure that you’re ready?”

Tobin nodded eagerly. She had barely had a moment where she hadn’t thought about Christen since she had left her house that day. She missed her, and she wanted to talk to her, and she wanted to kiss her. She was too mad at Alex to even think about talking to her, and maybe Allie was right, maybe she needed to stop and think about Alex’s motivation behind suddenly having feelings for her. Christen didn’t want anything from her, she just wanted her. 

“Yeah,” she finally whispered, “I really wanna talk.” She paused before she added, “And you look really pretty by the way.”

Christen blushed and smiled. “Thank you.” She reached out and gently placed her hand on Tobin’s forearm. “Okay, I’ll come find you in a little bit.”

Tobin smiled to herself as she watched Christen leave the kitchen. Why had they even broken up?

Tobin finished the beer in her hand before she headed to the bathroom.

When she opened the door to step back into the hallway, she was quickly pushed back into the room and a pair of lips were on hers. Her hands moved to cradle hips and she pressed back into the kiss eagerly. Christen smelled like coconut and she tasted like vodka, which must have been what she was drinking earlier. Tobin moaned and her hands trailed up Christen’s back. She was happy to keep doing this until the clock moved past midnight.

“Hi,” she sighed happily as she moved her mouth to start to kiss Christen’s jaw.

“Hey, I’m really glad I found you.”

Tobin’s eyes flew open and she was profoundly disappointed to meet a pair of blue eyes instead of green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger?! :O


	14. Why am I your plan B?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, a chapter has a split POV! I couldn't figure out how to tell an important part of this story from Christen's perspective, so it had to start with Tobin.
> 
> Hope it works!

“Alex?” Tobin exclaimed.

The striker laughed softly as her arms wrapped around Tobin’s waist. “I needed to find you for my New Year’s Eve kiss.”

Tobin raised an eyebrow in annoyance as she tried to take a step backwards. “Are you drunk?”

Alex shook her head. “No. I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me for weeks. I figured I was all out of options. You won’t answer any of my texts,” she added sadly.

“Sorry,” Tobin muttered. “I didn’t know what to say.” She finally wriggled out of Alex’s arms and leaned back against the bathroom sink. “I didn’t think it was you when I kissed you just now,” she admitted.

“You thought I was Christen?” Alex deduced. “Even though you’re broken up?” Tobin looked at her questioningly so she elaborated, “I hear things. I really want to talk to you about us.”

“_Us_?” Tobin balked in frustration. “What us? There is no us! You just ambushed me!” She ran both of her hands through her long hair in frustration. “You’re confusing the hell out of me, Alex. You tell me you don’t want me and then you tell my girlfriend that you’re in love with me!”

Alex at least had the decency to look ashamed. “Can we just sit down and talk? Please.”

Tobin looked down at her sneakers thoughtfully. Really she had been avoiding this conversation for far too long already. It was time to confront Alex and, more importantly, it was time to confront her own feelings. “Okay,” she nodded. “Let’s go outside.”

Alex nodded and smiled softly. She whirled around to open the bathroom door once more and Tobin followed her with a sigh. Alex seemed to know her way around this house so Tobin walked slowly behind her, with her gaze focused on her feet. They found the back porch and took a seat on the top step. Tobin sighed once more, loudly this time, and ran her hands across her denim clad thighs. The night breeze was actually quite warm and she was thankful for it as she leaned forward and rested her chin on her knee.

“Tobin,” Alex began quietly, “how do you feel about me right now?”

“Honestly, right now I’m really mad at you,” she mumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Alex responded in the most pleading voice that Tobin had ever heard her use. “I know that I’ve been so, _so_ awful.”

“I told you I was in love with her.”

“I know,” Alex groaned.

“And you what?” Tobin asked as she finally raised her head to look Alex in the eye. “Decided it was a good time to mess with me?”

Alex’s eyes widened and she grasped for Tobin’s hand, holding on for dear life. “No, no, no,” she repeated frantically. “I didn’t do this to hurt you. I know that I can be a bitch sometimes,” she scoffed, “but I would never set out to intentionally hurt you. I guess that I just realized that if I didn’t take a chance on you then I would regret it for the rest of my life.”

“Take a chance on me?” Tobin repeated.

The brunette striker nodded. “I know that I love you as a friend, I always have. You’re one of the best people I know, Tobin, and I don’t think it would take much for me to completely fall for you.” She ran a hand through her long, glossy hair as she paused. “And I’ve always known how you felt about me. How do you feel about me now, Tobin?”

Tobin chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. She felt a little bit like a fool, knowing that she had been so transparent and obvious, and she felt like she had wasted a lot of time imagining something that wasn’t real. She mindlessly picked at her shoes as her brain was hung up on a moment that she couldn’t get past, like her memory bank was stuck on replay.

One day last summer, after working out and playing soccer together for an entire Saturday, sweaty and breathless, she had asked Alex if she wanted to go to church with her the next morning. Alex had wiped the sweat off her brow and wrinkled her nose. While fixing her perfect ponytail, the dark-haired brunette had answered, “Not really my thing, Tobs.” 

_“Not really my thing.”_

Tobin hadn’t held anything against her for turning down the invitation, but it had been a little moment that should have shown her that Alex didn’t want to know her in the same way that she wanted to know Alex.

And now she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Alex was a lot of things. She was indescribably beautiful. She was smart. She was crazy competitive. She was a fantastic soccer player. She could be a very loyal friend. She could also be a judgmental snob. She could be dismissive. She could be cruel if she really wanted to be.

Alex Morgan was a lot of things, but she wasn’t Tobin’s dream girl. If she was, Tobin didn’t think that she would always feel so much pressure around her to say the right thing, or do the cool thing, or always make the right move on the field, or to always be “on”. She just wanted to be herself. Alex was a fantasy that she had always clung to in the hope that someone would finally see that she was worthy of a relationship that was committed, and kind, and sexy, and fun. But Alex wasn’t the person that she wanted all that with. Sitting next to her, she could already feel that the connection just wasn’t there. There was no spark, no sizzle, no tension. It had always been one-sided and she was only seeing it now.

Except now maybe it was one-sided in the other direction.

“I really thought I was in love with you, you know?” She finally spoke, and she saw the way that Alex looked at her enraptured.

The “but” hung in the air unspoken. 

“You don’t feel that way anymore?” Alex asked shakily.

“I know it was a crush,” Tobin replied honestly. “And then it turned into something else, and maybe something else that I thought was love, and yeah, I did really want to make you jealous, but I didn’t expect to feel the way I do about Christen. And the way that I feel about her…”

Tobin trailed off, but she could read Alex’s sad smile and somewhat understanding eyes. “Is not how you feel about me?” She finished. “Or _felt_ about me, I guess.”

Tobin nodded in confirmation and she wrapped her arms around her knees. She wished that she and Alex had spoken this candidly a long time ago. Maybe they would have cleared things up and avoided all this heartache.

“I’m sorry I talked to her behind your back,” Alex muttered. “She’s, like, annoyingly nice,” she chuckled.

Tobin laughed throatily. “She is, and I really care about her.”

Alex leaned back on the porch step and closed her eyes. “God, I’m such a bitch.”

“You are,” she retorted playfully, “but I love you anyway.” 

“I really am sorry, about everything.”

She shoved Alex’s shoulder in an effort to get her to smile. “Come on, Lex, you’ve apologized, now stop beating yourself up. I’m mad, but you know I’ll forgive you. You’re one of my best friends.” She swallowed nervously before she spoke again, “And I’m sorry if I hurt you in anyway.”

Alex opened her eyes to roll them dramatically as she smirked. “Oh my God, you and Christen can be annoyingly nice together.”

Tobin laughed with a toss of her hair until she heard raucous applause from inside the house. She quickly turned her head before she looked at her watch. “Oh shit, it’s midnight.” She hopped to her feet and brushed off her jeans. “Chris was supposed to find me.”

Alex stood up as well and looked at her with a frown and watery eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry again.”

“Stop,” Tobin laughed.

She turned towards the door, with Alex following behind her. As she reached for the handle, the door opened and Christen faced her with wide eyes. She smiled, until she looked over Tobin’s shoulder and saw Alex.

“Oh.” She stated as her eyes flickered between the two of them. “Oh. Oh, okay.” She spun on her heel and quickly began to walk away.

“Chris,” Tobin called in a panic as she tried to race after her. Pushing aside throngs of people proved to be a bit of a challenge, but she made it to the front door just as Christen ran through it. There were a few people sitting on the front lawn and Tobin could see the girl walking towards one of them. “Chris! Wait. Hold up.” Christen turned back around when Tobin least expected it and she came to a stop with an ungraceful skid. The very first thing that Tobin noticed were the tears in Christen’s eyes. “Hey, hey,” she began in a soothing voice, “don’t cry, please. I was just—”

“I don’t really want to hear anything that you have to say, Tobin.” Christen interrupted her sharply and it made her take a step backwards.

Tobin stared at her with wide eyes and a mouth opened in shock.

“I just want Zach to take me home,” Christen continued as she protectively wrapped her arms around her torso.

“A-are you okay?” Tobin asked worriedly.

Christen just nodded with her lip in between her teeth as she looked over her shoulder towards Julie and her boyfriend.

“Can we talk before you go?” She asked softly.

Christen, still with her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, firmly shook her head. “No, I don’t want to talk. I thought… I thought…” She shook her head. “Actually, it doesn’t matter what I thought. Bye Tobin.”

She turned again and walked right up to Julie’s burly, football boyfriend.

Tobin threw her hands in the air in frustration that Christen’s goodbye had felt so _final._

Well Happy freakin’ New Year.

What a way to start a new year.

Christen cried the entire drive home, with Julie’s hands rubbing into her back, and it felt like she would never stop. She had been so foolish to think, even for a moment, that Tobin wanted to talk to her because she had some miraculous change of heart. A part of her had been so sure that Tobin wanted to tell her that she couldn’t stop thinking about her, that she had been silly to think about Alex even for a second, that she was in love with her even.

God, she was so stupid.

When they pulled into Christen’s driveway, it was clear that Julie and Zach had no idea what to do. She was liable to wake up her entire house, if anyone was even sleeping. The possibility of her parents and her sister being awake made her want to go inside less. She really did not want to explain why she was hysterical with mascara running down her face.

“I’m calling Bram,” Julie finally decided.

Christen didn’t even tune into their conversation, but she tried to wipe her eyes when the car door was gently opened and she was pulled into a tender embrace.

She wasn’t sure how exactly it happened, but when she was able to concentrate once more, she found herself in Bram’s lap, on the ratty armchair he insisted on keeping in his bedroom, and he had a blanket tucked around her. She sniffled pitifully and he rubbed her back a little more surely.

She rested her head against his shoulder and took a deep breath. “Thank you,” she exhaled.

“Of course,” he responded in a soft, calming whisper. “I just wish I knew what was going on.”

Christen closed her eyes and pressed her face against her ex-boyfriend’s clean, white t-shirt. “Tobin doesn’t want me,” she murmured. “Nobody wants me.”

“That’s not true,” he answered quickly.

She scoffed and her fingers tightened in the blanket around her. “A precedent has been set.”

Bram slipped a hand up the back of her neck and into her hair. He started to massage her scalp as he said, “She’d be crazy not to want you.”

“You didn’t,” she snorted.

She could feel his chest shake with a chuckle and she didn’t think anything about this was funny. But before she could snap at him, he spoke again, soft and slow against her temple. “Come on, Chrissy, I never wanted to break up with you. You didn’t want me, you were just too kind to say it.”

And that just made her cry even harder.

Hours later, when she could _finally_ stop crying, she went to the bathroom to wash her blotchy face with her tired, red eyes, and she changed into soccer shorts and a band t-shirt that Bram had given her. She crawled into his bed and smiled at him lying in his sleeping bag on the floor next to her.

“You could come up here, you know,” she laughed.

Bram shook his head and shifted to get more comfortable. “I’m fine. I just want you to feel relaxed and safe.”

She glanced up at the ceiling before she admitted, “I really want to be held.”

He looked up at her with wide, concerned eyes. “Are you sure?”

She nodded shyly and she could feel herself getting emotional again. “Yes, please.” He slowly shimmied out of the sleeping bag, flicked off the bedside lamp, and clamoured into the bed. He awkwardly laid on his side and Christen put him out of his misery when she grabbed his arm to pull over her waist. “Stop being weird,” she giggled, “we have done this before!”

“Yeah,” he chuckled against the back of her neck. “But that was different. That was back when I was wondering how I could feel you up and still be polite about it.”

She elbowed him in the abdomen and laughed into the pillow beneath her. “Don’t get fresh with me,” she threatened jokingly. 

“I would never,” he murmured. His words hung in the air until he spoke again. “Unless you asked.”

She giggled into the pillow once more. Bram had to be the least aggressive, least assuming, least smooth guy that she had ever met, and it was endearing, and she had missed it. “Just cuddle me, you dummy.”

“Yes, princess,” he grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now! Don't freak out! I am not setting up another triangle here. This is Christen and Bram figuring out their new friendship.
> 
> They're both sad, but we're in the endgame now.


	15. There's something in between you and I...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen deals with curve ball after curve ball on New Year's Day.

Christen hummed and wrapped her arms around Bram’s shoulders as he pressed his mouth to hers and rolled her onto her back. She shifted to get comfortable and giggled when it made him groan.

“Something wrong?” She asked.

He shook his head before he buried his face in her neck. “No,” he groaned, “I’m just so worked up. Gimme a minute. I want this to last.”

He rested atop of her, with his face still pressed against her neck and shoulder, and she ran the tips of her fingers over his head as he took a series of long, deep breaths. She knew how turned on he was, it was evident in the tension present in every muscle in his body, and in the hardness pressed against her hip.

He was so into this, and she couldn’t stop thinking about her Math homework.

Christen laid on the bed and watched Bram snore softly as she reflected on that memory.

What Bram had said last night was sadly true. She had checked out of their relationship, and she hadn’t even realized it. She had cared about him so much as a friend, and had felt so safe and so cared for, that she had been willing to be in a romantic relationship with no spark. No heat. No real romance.

So he had broken up with her so that she didn’t have to.

That’s how much he cared about her.

He was such a good friend, and such a nice person.

She wished that romance and that attraction was there.

It would make her life a lot simpler.

Just for the sake of science, she shifted closer to Bram and began to wake him up by scratching the back of his neck. It was always a trick that worked.

He hummed, and squirmed, and buried his face in the pillow beneath him.

“Wake up,” she whispered softly as she pressed her nails into his skin just a little bit harder.

He hummed again and his eyes fluttered open. “Mornin’ Chris,” he husked sleepily.

She wrapped her hand firmly around his neck and pressed her body against his side. He was too drowsy to be confused, but he stilled when she brought her mouth down onto his. It took his brain a minute or two to catch up, and then he was kissing her back enthusiastically. He pushed himself up onto an elbow so his other hand could move around her waist and settle in the middle of her back.

She poured everything that she had into the kiss and it still felt dull, and forced, and passionless. She slowly pulled away with a furrowed brow and a frown.

Bram rubbed her back soothingly and offered a sad smile. “That didn’t do anything for you, did it?”

“I mean, it felt nice, but not really,” she answered honestly.

“Can I try something?” He asked timidly.

Christen nodded as she fell back onto the bed. Bram moved, so that he was hovering above her, and one of his hands sat firmly on her hip while the other cupped her cheek. He lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers, kissing her _so slowly_. He had obviously learned a thing or two since they had broken up because his kissing technique had never been this smooth. His thumb rubbed into her pelvic bone as his tongue swept along her bottom lip.

Again, everything about it was nice, but she didn’t feel any sort of connection. Not like she did with Tobin.

But that connection was totally one-sided. Tobin had probably been thinking about Alex the entire time.

She wrapped her arms around Bram’s shoulders and arched up against him. It was nice to do something purely physical. To get a little release and not worry about any kind of emotion attached to it.

And then they were making out in his bed.

Until a knock sounded on his closed bedroom door and his mother called that breakfast was ready.

She ate breakfast at Bram’s house, fielding a few excited comments from his mom about how nice it was to have her in the house again, and then she slowly made her way into her own home, still wearing Bram’s clothes. She found her mother in the kitchen and offered a weak smile.

Her mother stepped towards her and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Happy New Year, sweetie.” Her eyes swept over Christen’s appearance before she added, “I’m guessing that you didn’t stay at Julie’s?”

She shook her head and answered honestly. She had always found it incredibly difficult to lie to her mother, even as a little kid. “No, I didn’t. I slept at Bram’s.”

“Oh?” Her mother questioned with an arch of her eyebrow.

“I cried a lot, and Julie thought Bram would know what to do.”

Her mother’s expression quickly changed from surprised to concerned. “Why were you crying?” She softly brushed tendrils of Christen’s hair off of her forehead. “What happened?”

Christen bit down on her bottom lip and looked down towards the floor. “Just um… just… uh… Tobin…” She quickly finished talking before she started crying again. Her mom wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. “We’re not… she’s…”

“Shhh, sweetie. It’s okay.”

She buried her face in her mother’s shoulder and began to cry fresh tears. This was not how she had acted when Bram had broken up with her, this was very different, and she knew that her mother picked up on everything that was different. She just felt so hurt.

She finally made it to her bedroom, the dogs trailing behind her, and she decided to take a long, hot shower before she crawled back into her bed. Khaleesi curled up at the foot of the bed while Morena laid down next to her, waiting for a cuddle. She threw an arm around the tan coloured dog while she checked the notifications on her phone. She scrolled through her social media before she opened her text messages.

She had several unopened messages from Tobin.

Hesitantly, she opened the message thread.

_I’m not sure what happened last night but I really wanna talk._

_I hate seeing you cry._

_Chris, please._

_Nothing about last night is what you think it is._

_Chris. Talk to me._

Christen reread the messages several times before she responded slowly.

_You really hurt me and I need some time._

The response came almost instantaneously, as if Tobin was sitting by her phone, waiting.

_I’m so sorry. Can I come over so we can talk about it?_

Christen answered that message quickly and tossed her phone onto the bed. She had coddled Tobin while she was feeling conflicted about Alex and she was not in a place to do that again. If Tobin wanted Alex then she could have her, she just didn’t want to hear about it anymore. She wasn’t interested in hearing about how Tobin cared about her _so much_. It clearly wasn’t enough. If it was then Tobin would have picked her and she wouldn’t have been with Alex at midnight. She could be Tobin’s friend, like she had promised, but she wasn’t ready to jump into that, not after last night.

She needed to actually experience her feelings, not just bury them.

She obviously dozed because her eyes fluttered and she looked around, completely disoriented, when she heard her mother’s voice calling out to her. Khaleesi lifted her head and Morena sat up to bark in acknowledgement. She slowly sat up and swung her legs around to the side of the bed as her mother called her name again.

“Coming, Mom!” She called back.

She ran a hand through her wild, messy curls since she had let her hair air dry and slowly padded down the stairs barefoot.

“Someone is at the door for you, honey.”

She nodded, still feeling tired and exhausted, and walked towards the door. She stepped out onto the porch and greeted her visitor with wide eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Tobin spun around to face her with big, pleading brown eyes. “I just needed to see if you were okay.”

Christen crossed her arms over her chest, a clear defense mechanism. “I told you not to come over,” she muttered.

“I know, I know,” Tobin replied while nodding. “But I just… I just needed to see you. Please don’t send me away.”

Christen didn’t say anything. She just shuffled her feet and wrapped her arms tighter around her torso.

“Last night, I wish I had been able to say something before you left,” Tobin continued in a scratchy voice. “I just couldn’t… I… I couldn’t say anything when I saw how hurt you looked… I just…” She stopped talking and ran a hand through her long hair in frustration. “I should have said something, and I didn’t. I just didn’t even know where to begin. I’m sorry.”

Christen nodded in acknowledgement, and she could see that Tobin was beginning to panic because she wasn’t saying anything.

“I care about you so much, Chris.”

She turned her head so that Tobin couldn’t see her roll her eyes. She had been waiting to hear that phrase. “Just not in the way that you care about Alex, right?”

Tobin nodded eagerly. “Yeah, exactly. I don’t want to date her.”

Christen’s head snapped up and she looked at Tobin a tad suspiciously. “So what are you saying?”

Tobin took a step forward and gently reached for her hand, which Christen gave her warily. “I wanna be with you. Only you.” She paused before she whispered, “That’s what I wanted to tell you last night.” She entwined their fingers and lightly tugged her forward. “I never had anything real with Alex. It was all in my head. I love what I have with you. I love what we could have together.”

Christen pulled Tobin into a hug and rested her chin on her shoulder. She felt Tobin’s arms encircle her and she closed her eyes. 

Tobin gave really good hugs.

“You mean all that?” She asked in a shaky murmur.

Tobin’s arms tightened around her, giving her body a playful squeeze. “I really mean all that,” she whispered in what Christen knew was a sincere voice. 

Christen took a deep breath and pressed her face to Tobin’s neck. She wasn’t ready to dive into this again. She felt too worn, too fragile, too all over the place. She needed to protect her heart this time around. “I think I need to be friends for a little while first.” She pulled back so that she could watch Tobin’s expressions as she said, “_Just_ friends.”

Tobin, for her part, looked apprehensive, but excited. “Okay. Okay. I can do that. Friends. I’m a good friend,” she rambled.

She laughed softly and pushed Tobin’s hair out of her face. “I’m not trying to punish you, Tobin.”

“No, I know that. Well actually, maybe I deserved to be punished a little bit,” she chuckled. “I was really dumb. I’m sorry.”

“I accept your apology,” Christen smiled. “Let’s just see where this goes?” 

Tobin nodded thoughtfully and pushed her hands into her front pockets. They weren’t hugging anymore, but they were standing very close together. “In the spirit of friendship, we have a game the first Friday back to school. Wanna come?”

She nodded without hesitation. “Sure, that sounds like fun.”

“Awesome,” Tobin smiled, and it was one of her big, wide happy smiles that made her stomach flutter.

“And Tobin,” she started with a grin, “friends means friends. No kissing. No touching. No girlfriendy things.”

Tobin nodded, albeit a little hesitantly. “I get that.”

Christen arched an eyebrow. “Okay,” she giggled.

“Best friends,” Tobin smirked mischievously.

With a hand on her sternum, Christen gave her a push that was also a warning. “You can’t look at me like that if we’re just friends.”

Tobin looked down at her feet before she toned down that megawatt smile. “Understood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be too mad at C. She needs to know that someone wants her.
> 
> Hoping to put out something new soon as I finish this one up!


	16. I wanna tell her that I love her...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin heads back to school, back to soccer, and hopefully, back to Christen.

A puppy.

Tobin had been called a puppy many times in her life, especially by Kelley. She acted like a puppy when she chased her soccer ball around when no one was looking. She acted like a puppy when she ran around nutmegging her teammates before practiced started. Apparently she looked like a puppy when she stared at someone with her big, brown eyes.

Currently, she felt like a puppy desperate for Christen’s affection.

She had woken up on the first day of school invigorated, and certainly more excited for school than she had ever been before. She had shovelled her cereal into her mouth and bounded out the door, leaving her house in plenty of time to drive to Christen’s house and drop her and her sister off at school.

Because that was a friend thing to do.

When she arrived at Christen’s house, Christen was surprised, but happy to see her, and Mama Press offered her a second breakfast, and everything was going great.

Until Bram arrived…

“We’re headed to the same place so I can give them a ride. It’s not a problem,” he explained evenly as he stood in the kitchen tossing his car keys in his hand.

“But I’m already here,” Tobin argued.

“But you didn’t have to come,” he shot back.

She narrowed her eyes, and she really wanted to bring up that she hadn’t ever seen Bram offer to bring the Press girls to school in all the months that she had been around. So now that she and Christen were broken up, he was back sniffing around? She wanted to say all that, but she really didn’t want to cause a scene in Christen’s kitchen while her dad read his morning paper and drank his coffee.

Christen must have sensed the tension because she quickly moved to stand in between them. She placed a gentle hand on Tobin’s forearm and looked at both of them with a smile. “It’s fine, Bram. I’ll see you at school, okay?”

He nodded, but reluctantly. Christen walked him to the door and Tobin watched the way that he placed a hand between her shoulder blades and trailed it all the way down to the small of her back.

Her day didn’t get any better. School sucked. Practice sucked. And Christen only texted her to let her know that she didn’t need to come and pick her up because Bram could give her a ride home.

She walked to her truck irritably scuffing her shoes against the ground.

“Why do you look like a kicked puppy?” Kelley questioned as she jogged to catch up to her.

“I do not,” she mumbled defensively.

“Okay,” Kelley chuckled, “because that was convincing.” 

“I just had a bad day is all. First day back, ya know?” She offered weakly.

Kelley nodded in understanding, but it was clear that she didn’t buy Tobin’s explanation. But she wasn’t going to prod. She simply placed a hand on Tobin’s shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze. “Game on Friday though! You gotta be excited about that!”

“I am,” Tobin smiled. 

She was always excited to play soccer. That would never change. But she knew that she would be even more excited if Christen would text her to tell her how her day had been.

She was thankful that Friday came quickly. It wasn’t an important game for them as a team, their place in their division was secure, but it was still a game, which meant that Tobin still intended to give one hundred percent for ninety minutes. And love every second of it.

She assisted a goal to Alex off of a corner kick at the twenty-sixth minute and she scored one of her own at the seventieth minute. She was subbed off not long after that for some well-earned rest, but not before she nutmegged a defender and heard an outburst of cheering from the stands.

She sat next to Allie, who had been subbed out at half, on the bench and wiped her sweaty face with a towel. Allie gave her a casual fist bump before she returned to watching the game. Tobin stared at the field as well before she looked over her shoulder and tried not to make it too obvious that she was looking for someone in particular as she scanned the crowd.

She finally spotted Christen, sitting with Crystal and Julie, her usual companions at Tobin’s games. Tobin waved and smiled in triumph when Christen waved back. It was only with the movement that she realized… Holy shit… Christen was wearing one of her national team jerseys. Tobin gulped and stared, completely transfixed.

Was wearing a jersey a friend thing to do? She didn’t think so.

When the game was over, she found Christen on the sidelines and the tennis player gave her a double high five before she pulled her in for a quick hug.

“Great game!”

“Thanks,” Tobin shrugged. She reached forward and tugged on the jersey Christen was wearing with a playful smile. “Nice shirt.”

“Oh, this old thing?” She teased. “It’s been hanging in my closet forever.”

Tobin rolled her eyes and gave the material another tug. “You know you should probably give it back.”

A pretty blush covered Christen’s cheeks and she looked at Tobin from underneath her eyelashes, but before she could speak, Kelley interrupted them by jumping on Tobin’s back.

“Hey there Pretty Pressy!” Kelley yelled. “Coming to our beach party?”

“We’re partying on the beach?” Tobin asked with a raised eyebrow. That was news to her.

“Yup!” Kelley yelled, right in her ear. “So are you coming? And bringing your hot friends?”

Christen giggled and the sound went right through Tobin in the best way. “Yeah, I’ll come. I’ll go ask Julie and Crystal what they want to do.”

Christen walked back up into the bleachers to where her friends were still sitting. Tobin scratched the back of her neck as she watched the sway of Christen’s hips in black leggings. She was not embarrassed to be staring at Christen’s butt; however, she was not the only person doing just that. 

“Hey,” she whined as she punched Kelley’s shoulder and caught her off-balance.

Kelley blinked at her owlishly. “What?”

“What are you doing?”

Kelley blinked again. “I wasn’t doing anything!”

“You were checking her out,” Tobin accused. She knew that Kelley checked out everyone and that it wasn’t a big deal, and that it _really_ shouldn’t bother her. But it did. Because why was everyone interested in her girl all of a sudden? “You weren’t even trying to be subtle.”

“Chill, Tobito. She has a nice ass and I have eyes! I’m not plotting anything.”

Tobin hung her head with a heavy sigh and she felt Kelley’s hands on both of her shoulders. 

“Deep breath, Tobs,” Kelley whispered. “No need to get all jealous and emotional.”

“Sorry,” Tobin muttered as her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “I don’t mean to be psycho.” She looked up at her friend and she knew that she was sticking out her bottom lip in a pout. “I’m sorry,” she apologized again.

Kelley sighed, “There are those puppy dog eyes again. They’ve been out in full force lately, huh?” She rubbed her shoulders again before she added, “It’s Christen, right? You’re all love sick.”

“Yeah,” Tobin admitted. There was really no point in denying it.

“Dude,” Kelley laughed, “she’s here in your jersey. Just be real and upfront with her.”

Tobin nodded in understanding. Kelley actually was capable of giving good advice every now and then. 

However, it was difficult to be real and upfront with someone after being suckered into a few drinking games. Tobin stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on placing one foot in front of the other.

Maybe she was a wee bit drunk.

She stumbled in the sand and chuckled when she felt hands supporting her forearms. “Woah, easy there.”

Her head snapped up to meet green eyes – super pretty green eyes.

"Christen!" She exclaimed happily.

Pretty, pretty, pretty eyes. Really pretty.

She hadn't realized that she had said any of that out loud until Christen giggled and tightened the grip she had on her elbows.

"Do you need to sit down, Tobs?"

"Yeah, okay," Tobin agreed easily. She essentially plopped into a sitting position and Christen gracefully sat beside her. She began to run her hands over the sand beneath them. "I love sand. Don't you love sand, Chris?"

"I'm not particularly fond of sand actually."

"Why not?" Tobin asked earnestly. "It's awesome. And sand means that you're at the beach and the beach is awesome."

"What about when sand gets in uncomfortable places?"

Tobin furrowed her brow in thought. "Oh right, that sucks, but can be totally worth it." She turned to Christen with a wide grin. "Have you ever gotten sand in any weird places?"

Despite the darkness, she could still make out the blush on Christen's cheeks. So pretty.

"Yes," the younger girl admitted, "but not from anything that you're thinking about."

"Shame," she mumbled. A moment later, her head popped up once more in excitement. "Hey! You wanna go skinny dipping?"

"No," Christen answered clearly.

Tobin immediately pouted. "Okay."

"It's way too cold," Christen explained.

Tobin leaned forward and pressed her face against Christen's neck. If Christen was cold, then cuddling would warm her up. "Some other time then," she murmured, "when it's warmer." Tobin didn't hear Christen's response, but she did register Christen's hand moving through her hair. "That's nice," she sighed. She promptly scooted closer and burrowed deeper. "Smell so good." She wasn't sure how Christen managed to still smell like fruit around a bonfire, but she loved it. She wanted to know if Christen smelled that good everywhere; she had never gotten the pleasure of finding out.

"It's my hair product," she answered shakily.

Tobin grunted, in objection or disagreement she wasn't sure. "You just smell good. So good."

"Tobin," she spoke warningly.

She reached across Christen's body and held her waist. “Are you still cold?” She asked in a whisper. She could feel Christen shake her head so she wrapped her arm around her just a little tighter. She lifted her head and brushed her nose against Christen’s cheek until their mouths were touching, lips just barely pressed together. Tobin hummed and raised a hand to cup Christen’s cheek. “You taste like watermelon,” she murmured. “The first time I kissed you, you tasted like watermelon.”

Christen raised a hand to wrap her fingers around Tobin’s wrist. “Tobs.”

Tobin pulled away slowly. “I’m sorry,” she frowned. “I didn’t… mean to do that. Sorry.”

She just couldn't help herself, especially with the alcohol coursing through her bloodstream. She wanted to kiss her, and hold her, and love her. As much as she could. For as long as she could.

“It’s okay,” Christen replied with a sad smile, her hand still holding Tobin’s wrist. “You’re a little drunk, it’s okay.”

Tobin couldn’t stop herself from pouting. “I’m just sorry. I screwed up. We said we’d be friends.”

Christen started to run her fingertips over Tobin’s forearm and Tobin wanted to melt into the touch. “It’s okay,” she reassured her. “You didn’t screw up. You’re fine.”

They sat next to each other in the sand, in silence, for several minutes before Christen spoke again. 

“Tobin, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” she answered quickly.

“Would it hurt you if I explored things with other people?”

Tobin thoughtfully chewed on her bottom lip. “Yeah,” she admitted, “but I understand. I spent our relationship wrapped up in Alex when I should have been worshipping you.”

“Tobin, you—”

“No, it’s true,” she interrupted. “You don’t have to pretend it isn’t. So yeah, it would hurt me, but it’s okay. I’ll just pray a little harder.”

“Pray a little harder for what?”

The answer was simple. “For you to come back to me.”

Tobin was startled, happily so, when Christen pressed against her in a hungry, desperate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may end at 20 chapters! Not sure yet!


	17. Let me give your heart a break...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen comes to terms with her thoughts, feelings, and wants for the two significant relationships in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally overwhelmed by the response to the last chapter! Thank you!

“Sorry for attacking you,” Christen apologized as she slowly pulled away, a hand still resting on Tobin’s sternum. “That was really romantic and I couldn’t help myself.”

Tobin shrugged with a wide grin. “It’s totally fine. I give you the green light to attack me like that any time you want.”

Christen laughed softly and gently touched her lips. “You’re so sweet, and so silly.”

And so cute.

Her hand slowly crept up over Tobin’s neck until her fingers were trailing along her jaw. “I want to do this. I do… I just… God,” she huffed, “I am so stupid.”

Tobin furrowed her brow in confusion. “What do you mean? I don’t understand. Do you –?”

She interrupted Tobin with another kiss as she cupped her face with both hands. She was fully aware that she was being reckless with her own heart, but she couldn’t ignore the pull that she felt to Tobin. A pull that was decidedly not platonic. She pressed against Tobin eagerly and she heard a moan in response, and she felt hands grip her waist.

Somehow, they ended up in a lying position and Christen was cradled between Tobin’s hips and two strong hands were cupping her behind.

“Chris, God,” Tobin murmured between kisses, “you’re so pretty. I want you so much.”

They had no issues in the realm of physical attraction and chemistry, but they definitely shouldn’t be doing this now. No matter how good Tobin’s mouth felt on her neck. Christen hummed and shivered before she slowly pulled away, sitting up in Tobin’s lap – which did nothing to quell her suddenly raging libido. Tobin held her tighter and nibbled up her neck and along her jawline. Humming pleasantly all the while, like Tobin couldn’t imagine doing anything that would make her happier.

Christen tilted her head back and sighed. Tobin sucked on the underside of her jaw and that sigh quickly turned into a moan. She tangled a hand through Tobin’s brown hair and managed to pull herself away.

“Wait,” she panted. “We should talk. We should talk _tomorrow_.”

Tobin blinked slowly. “We can talk tomorrow,” she replied.

“And not make out right now,” Christen clarified.

“Oh,” the soccer player pouted. “But that makes sense.” Tobin sweetly tucked her hair behind her ear with a smile. “I just like kissing you. Your lips are so soft.”

Christen rolled her eyes, entirely to herself. She hadn’t been able to stay away from Tobin for a full week. Some willpower she had. She softly pressed her lips to Tobin’s before she finally pulled away and got to her feet. Tobin reluctantly jumped to her feet and started to brush sand off of every inch of herself. When she was done, she reached for Christen’s hand and entwined their fingers.

“I want you to be my girlfriend again, Chris,” she murmured as they walked up the beach.

Christen turned towards her, and with a hand on Tobin’s cheek, she spoke patiently. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay?” Tobin nodded before she surged forward to kiss her again. Christen pulled away with a firm hand on Tobin’s chest, and a giggle. It was hard to be mad at her when she was so cute, smiley and affectionate, and a little clingy. Tobin giggled as well as she slipped an arm around Christen’s waist and playfully kissed her nose. She knew that Tobin was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol she had consumed, but there was something else to her actions. “You’re in a weird mood,” she giggled.

“No, I’m not,” she responded with a grin. “I just wanna be close to you.”

“You can be close,” Christen whispered as she slowly raised her arms to wrap around Tobin’s neck. “Just no kissing.”

“Right, no kissing,” Tobin pouted. “We need to be talking.”

“Exactly,” she confirmed with a nod.

“Am I interrupting something?”

They both turned their heads to find Kelley staring at them with a mischievous grin.

“We’re talking,” Tobin answered quickly, far too quickly. 

“Right,” Kelley scoffed, “I can see that. Press, Julie says that your ride is here. Some dude?”

She nodded as she felt Tobin’s arms tighten around her waist. “Can you tell her that I’ll be there in a minute?”

Kelley nodded in understanding. “Yeah, sure.”

Kelley walked back in the direction of the bonfire and Christen offered Tobin a soft smile before she dropped her hands to circle around Tobin’s wrists that were latched around her frame, resting on the small of her back. “I gotta get home.”

“Just wait a minute,” Tobin murmured before she huffed. “I’m just so jealous.”

Christen appreciated Tobin’s candor. At least she knew exactly where they stood now. Tobin was clearly very focused on her, and only her, and she wanted to believe that fully, but she didn’t want to get hurt again. “We’ll talk tomorrow,” she reaffirmed. “I’ll text you.”

It was incredibly difficult to walk away from Tobin when she looked so sad, but she did have a curfew and, more importantly, she needed some time and space to think and process.

She was quiet and thoughtful on the ride home as Bram dropped off Julie, then Crystal, and finally pulled into his driveway. She snapped out of her continuous loop of thoughts when she felt a thumb brush her cheek. She turned her head to find Bram smiling at her.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He questioned softly.

She promptly nodded and hummed. “Yes, everything is fine. Thank you for picking us up.”

Bram furrowed his brow in confusion, no doubt at her rehearsed, almost clinical response. “Are you sure, Chrissy?” He inquired. “You seem _off_.”

She turned her body towards him and spoke rapidly, “What did it mean to you when we fooled around on your bed on New Year’s?”

“I dunno.” He shrugged uncomfortably and scratched his nose. “It was hot, and I really liked it, obviously you're gorgeous. I would do it again, if you want to. But I know you don’t really want to.”

“Don’t tell me what I want,” she snapped defensively.

He reached for her and gently stroked her forearm. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean it like that.”

All of a sudden, it sounded like they were a couple again, and it made Christen sigh in frustration because Bram was right, that wasn't what she wanted. She didn't want this dynamic back. She wanted the one before they ever even kissed.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I just meant that it was clearly a moment where you were sad and vulnerable, and maybe we just fell into something comfortable?”

Christen grabbed his hand and tangled their fingers together. This meek, awkward boy really understood her, and she loved him for it. She brought their joined hands to her mouth and placed a series of kisses on his hand. “I love you, you know?”

“I know,” he smiled, “and I love you too, and if she deserves you, then I’m happy for you.”

“If she deserves me?” Christen asked with a teasing smile.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Obviously Tobin needs to do some grovelling.”

“You just said Tobin’s name without getting stars in your eyes.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled. “I’m really not happy that she made you cry like that.”

Christen smiled out of the corner of her mouth. “You’re big brothering me?”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, “someone has to. You’re my best friend and you deserve the best.”

The next morning, Christen texted Tobin as soon as she woke up, and a few hours later they met in the park where they had their first serious conversation. Tobin, expectedly, had a soccer ball at her feet, and she greeted Christen with a bright smile and a hug. When Tobin reluctantly pulled away, her eyes dropped to Christen’s mouth. Christen put the poor girl out of her misery and held her face with both hands to give her a sweet kiss.

Tobin’s smile became even more electric, so Christen kissed her again.

After, she led Tobin to a familiar bench and they both took a seat.

“Are you hungover?” She asked playfully.

Tobin instantly blushed and timidly tucked her chin to her chest. “I’m really sorry for being so forward and everything. If I made you uncomfortable or anything like that, then I definitely need to apologize.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Christen assured her quickly. “I was sort of sending you mixed signals.” She tucked her hair behind her ear before she admitted, “I’m glad you told me you want me.”

“I do. I do want you.” Tobin promptly pursed her lips, as if she had spoken too quickly. 

“I need to tell you some things,” she began quietly. Tobin nodded encouragingly so she proceeded. “Bram and I spoke last night, about a lot of things, mostly about how we want to stay close friends because we’ve been best friends for so long. But we also talked about how I spent time with him on New Year’s, after everything, and I cried… a lot.” Tobin looked like she wanted to jump in, but she respectfully kept her mouth closed. “And I stayed the night, and in the morning, we made out quite a bit.”

“Oh.”

Tobin’s face fell and she was unable to hide it, which, in the moment, Christen truly appreciated. She didn't want Tobin to hide any of her feelings. “But it didn’t mean anything,” Christen explained calmly. “It was just falling into old habits. I just wanted to feel good.”

Tobin nodded as she rubbed her hands along her thighs. “Okay. I get that.” She raised her head before she asked fearfully, “Do you still want something with me? Or did I screw that up?”

“I do want something with you,” she replied candidly. Tobin’s entire body lifted at that news and Christen smiled. “So let’s just promise to be honest, okay?”

“Honesty, okay,” the soccer player nodded eagerly. “Well I should tell you a few things. First, Alex kissed me on New Year’s before we sat down and talked about everything.”

Christen was able to swallow that without too much thought, or bitterness. It didn’t exactly surprise her.

“Second,” Tobin continued as her expression suddenly got a lot more shy. “I’m totally in love with you.

Christen’s eyes widened at Tobin’s confession. _That_ surprised her.


	18. To be your last "Goodnight" and your first "Good day"...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin really likes saying 'I love you'.

Tobin leaned across the console of her truck and kissed Christen on the mouth repeatedly. She just had no reason to pull away, it really didn’t matter that she was going to be late for school. School paled in importance.

“You two are gross.”

Tobin heard that comment and the sound of the backdoor opening and closing, signalling the exit of Christen’s sister. Christen giggled and Tobin just pulled her in for another kiss.

“I hope you have a great day,” she said between kisses. “I love you.”

Christen pulled away so that Tobin could see the full force of her smile. She wrapped her fingers around the collar of Tobin’s shirt and tugged her closer. “You just love saying that.”

“I really do,” she grinned. “You look so beautiful today, baby.”

“Wow,” Christen laughed loudly. “You are feeling exceptionally charming this morning.”

Tobin sat up straight and essentially puffed out her chest as she smiled uncontrollably. “I’m just happy,” she sighed.

Christen pulled her in by the collar again and kissed her with a smile. “I’m happy too, but I really need to go.”

She sighed in disappointment. “Yeah, okay. I guess I should let you go to class.” She gave Christen a quick peck before she added, “I love you, and I’ll pick you up after school?”

Before Christen hopped out of her truck, she gave her one last kiss and the cutest little wave. 

Tobin smiled to herself and waited until Christen was out of sight before she turned her truck around and headed to her own school. She felt like her body was vibrating as she focused on the road ahead and tried to keep her hands on the wheel. Happy wasn’t even the right word. She was elated, exhilarated, ecstatic, and every other word beginning with the letter ‘e’ that she could think of. Perhaps she felt closer to floating than vibrating.

She had never imagined that saying “I love you” out loud would be so freeing. She had never said it before, not in a romantic way – she had never wanted to. But Christen was right, now that she had said it, she couldn’t stop.

And Christen wasn’t ready to say it back. But that was fine! She was okay with that.

When she had blurted it out at the park, she had watched Christen’s eyes widen in surprise and she had panicked. She had rushed to say something else and her arms had failed wildly, and awkwardly, but Christen had gently shushed her with a soft smile and told her that she had been hoping to hear that for a long time. After a long, sweet, close-mouthed kiss, Christen told her that she couldn’t say the same, _yet_. She didn’t want to rush anything between them, but that’s what she wanted too. To be in love. 

And that was cool. Tobin could be patient. She was chill. She could wait.

All that really mattered was that Christen was her girlfriend again.

She went about her day with a smile on her face, even in her most dreaded classes, and when the final bell rang she raced out of the building and to her truck.

She skipped across the Chadwick campus until she reached the fenced in tennis courts. She smiled when she saw Christen hitting a ball back and forth across the net with Crystal. It didn’t look like they were hitting their shots with much force, but their strokes looked precise, effortless, and graceful.

Naturally, she found herself looking at Christen’s long, tan legs and the flexing muscles in her thighs. 

She almost stumbled over her own feet when a tennis ball gently bounced off of her shoulder. She had been so distracted that she had missed Crystal directing a lob at her with a mischievous smile. Her face flamed with heat and she looked up to face two giggling girls.

“What ya looking at, Tobs?” Crystal teased as her and Christen walked closer.

“Nothing,” Tobin mumbled.

Christen giggled again and stepped closer to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Hi,” she whispered. “You’re a little early. Are you ready to leave?”

Tobin smiled joyously. “Hi. I am, but don’t let me stop your practice. I can wait!”

“You sure?” Christen questioned.

“Yeah, are you sure?” Crystal followed up with a loud laugh.

“Yes.” Tobin nodded confidently. “I can wait.”

Crystal looked at her sceptically with an arch of an eyebrow, but Christen seemed to believe her so she frolicked back to the service line.

And so Tobin waited, somewhat patiently. She sat on a bench against the fence and watched the back and forth of what was clearly a relaxed practice between hitting partners.

Tobin had a much harder time controlling her lust when they found themselves on Christen’s bed after her practice. She had certainly missed the afternoons of fooling around in Christen’s bedroom while her parents were out of the house and music played out of her speaker. Christen was still a little slick and sweaty, her long hair still pulled back in a tight ponytail, and Tobin moaned at the taste as she licked across Christen’s collarbone.

“Tobs,” Christen whined.

She pushed her nose against Christen’s neck and inhaled deeply. “You smell so good,” she groaned.

Christen dug her short fingernails into Tobin’s lower back, underneath her t-shirt, and arched her back. “Stop that,” she exhaled, “you’re driving me crazy.”

“I’m trying to,” Tobin chuckled. She kissed that spot on Christen’s neck that really drove her wild and was rewarded with a moan and a hand in her hair. “Do you like that?”

“You know I do. It’s not fair.”

She chuckled again and raised her head to place a sweet kiss on Christen’s lips. “So beautiful,” she murmured. She propped herself up on her hands so that she could watch Christen’s facial expressions as she spoke. “I want to take you out this weekend, like an epic, full day date.”

“Okay,” the girl beneath her giggled.

Tobin had been giving the concept of _wooing_ a lot of thought lately and she was ready.

“Okay,” Tobin nodded. “So on Saturday you’re all mine.”

Christen smiled and wrapped two fingers around Tobin’s chain falling out of her shirt. “I’m all yours right now too,” she smirked as she yanked Tobin down until their mouths were pressed together.

Tobin was pretty sure her new favourite thing would become Christen leading her around by the chain around her neck.

They kissed _a lot_ more and wriggled out of both their tops. Tobin dropped her mouth to Christen’s collarbone again and encouraged her to pull her sports bra over her head. She knew that Christen was self-conscious about the size of her breasts, and sure, they were a little on the small side, but Tobin wasn’t a dude. She appreciated Christen’s entire body.

Besides, she had the most perfect nipples.

“Toby,” Christen practically squealed as she squirmed furiously beneath her. “You’re going to make me come if you keep doing that.”

Tobin hummed as she glanced up at her girlfriend with wide, playful eyes. It would be _so hot_ if she could get Christen to orgasm just from touching and sucking her nipples.

Christen’s fingers started to tighten in her hair as she flattened her tongue and slowly dragged it across the hardened peak, while her left hand slowly, gently, and methodically tweaked its counterpart. The tennis player continued to squirm, creating even more delicious friction between them. Her legs eventually wrapped around Tobin’s waist and Tobin moaned in approval. She could feel Christen’s hips searching for some relief so she pushed down against her.

“God, please, please, please,” Christen muttered repeatedly, clearly feeling teased.

She unpredictably kept changing the pace, and the pressure, and the focus of her attention, until she gave one of Christen’s breasts a little nip with her teeth and her body sprung forward like a bow. Her head fell back against the pillow and her legs slipped back to the mattress. 

Tobin placed the lightest series of kisses up Christen’s neck before kissing her lips again. “Did you…?” She trailed off in a whisper.

Christen nodded shyly, with a flush on her face and chest. “Yeah,” she squeaked.

“Wow,” Tobin grinned. Christen still looked incredibly embarrassed, bordering on mortified, until she spoke again. “You have no idea how much that turns me on.”

“Do you…? Um…” Christen looked up at the ceiling and thoughtfully chewed on her bottom lip. “Do you want to feel how wet I am?”

Tobin gulped to stop an absolutely primal sound from ripping from the back of her throat. “Holy shit, yes, please,” she rambled.

Still blushing, Christen laughed.

Before Tobin could drop her hand to the top of Christen’s shorts, they heard the dogs barking, and she rested her head on Christen’s shoulder with a disappointed sigh.

“I think someone is home.”

“Yeah.” Christen sighed as well. “I think so too.”

“I just want to get you alone for several hours so that I can make love to you uninterrupted and hold you while you sleep.”

Christen smiled slowly. “Make love to me, huh?”

Tobin nodded and emphasized, “For _hours_, baby.”

Christen ran her hands across Tobin’s shoulders as she asked, a tad seductively, “And how can you make that happen?”

Tobin opened and closed her mouth repeatedly. “Well… I’ll have to think about that.”

“Yes, you will,” she giggled.

They finally untangled their limbs, redressed, and made their way downstairs. Tobin was quickly pulled into helping Christen’s dad with his precious 1963 Chevrolet Corvette. She sent Christen a wink over her shoulder and followed him to the garage happily. After forty minutes they were called in for dinner and Tobin graciously accepted her seat at the Press table.

She said goodbye to Christen on her front porch, but in a scene similar to this morning, she didn’t want to go anywhere.

With her hands on Christen’s hips, she kissed her chastely, but repeatedly. And her intentions were really anything but chaste.

“Tobs,” Christen giggled, “someone is going to come looking for us because it’s taking me too long to go back inside.”

Tobin pulled away reluctantly. “Fine,” she acquiesced. “I’ll stop kissing your pretty face.”

“You can do it again tomorrow,” Christen promised.

Tobin smiled brightly and leaned in for one last kiss. “Okay, goodnight, I love you.”

She spun on her heel, fully intent on leaving, but was pulled back in by a tug on her hand. She was caught by surprise when Christen placed a hand on her face and kissed her intensely.

When the kiss ended, Tobin simply raised an eyebrow.

“You’re wonderful,” was Christen’s explanation.

Tobin would take that. She drove home sporting a cartoon-like grin.

“So you’re looking to get laid after this?”

Tobin turned to look at Kelley and shot her a look that said, ‘Really, Kel?’

The shorter soccer player shrugged her shoulders. “What? I’m just sayin’.”

Tobin rubbed her forehead in exhaustion. Why had she asked Kelley to help her get everything ready for this date? She should have asked Allie. The blonde would have teased her as well, but she would have been far less crude about it. She should have asked Alex, who was still feeling guilty.

“I just want some uninterrupted, alone time with her,” Tobin answered slowly. "Somewhere that's not my truck. Getting laid is not really the point.”

“Uninterrupted, alone time,” Kelley repeated with a waggle of her eyebrows. “You wanna see how loud she’ll scream?”

Tobin pushed her friend with both hands and tried to suppress a laugh. “Can you just stop?”

“That’s not what you want Christen to say,” she joked.

“Stop,” she requested again, through another laugh.

“Okay, okay,” Kelley laughed, “let’s go back to planning this incredibly romantic gesture. You sap.”

Tobin let that comment roll off of her back and she returned to the task at hand.

As they were walking back to her truck, Kelley took a key off of her keychain and offered it to her.

“What’s this?” Tobin asked in confusion.

“My cousin asked me to house sit for her,” she explained.

Tobin’s eyes widened excitedly as she realized what Kelley was doing.

“Bring your own food,” she continued, “clean up, and please, for the love of God, wash the sheets.”

“Kel, I could kiss you.”

“Please save it for your girlfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will there be fluff and smut in the next chapter? Absolutely.


	19. Every kiss and every touch...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin takes Christen on their all day date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this lives up to some expectations! Fluffy smut!

“Alright, let me see your underwear.”

Christen spun around, from where she had been sitting at her mirror applying makeup, and looked at Julie with wide eyes. “Excuse me? What?” She questioned in a high-pitched voice.

“Your underwear,” the blonde answered without hesitation. “Let me see. You can’t wear just any old pair.”

Christen still felt incredibly confused, and embarrassed, and self-conscious, even though she was with a friend who had seen her in her underwear countless times.

“Take your jeans off,” Julie demanded.

“No!”

“Chris!”

Christen shook her head as she got to her feet. “Julie, it’s fine. They’re fine.”

The blonde looked incredibly suspicious and serious, as if they were arguing about literally anything else. Julie took an intimidating step towards her and plucked at her waistband.

“JJ!” She squealed. “Stop!”

Julie huffed before she said, “I’m just trying to help. Zach goes crazy for sexy underwear. I think he likes it even more than when I’m naked.”

With red cheeks, Christen finally admitted, “They’re just, like, cotton, and blue.”

Her friend vehemently shook her head, seemingly offended. “That will not do.” She strode towards Christen’s dresser and pulled open her underwear drawer. “You know what you need to wear?” She rummaged before she slowly turned around and held a white lace thong with just her index finger. “This.”

Christen laughed awkwardly, “Crystal bought that for me, as a joke.”

“They’ll make your ass look fantastic.”

Christen reached out and apprehensively grasped the fabric and took it from Julie’s hand. “What if…? Um…” She began nervously as she looked down towards the floor. “We’ve done stuff, but we haven’t done all the stuff… and definitely not all at once. So what if we do and it’s not good? What if she doesn’t like it?”

Her worries about this particular subject had been creeping in all morning. Their relationship had stalled at a particularly interesting dynamic where she hadn’t really allowed Tobin to _give_ as much as _receive_, and now it was causing her anxiety. Tobin was so sweet, but what if all that talk was fluff – surely she wasn’t as beautiful as Tobin said she was – so what if Tobin didn’t enjoy… being down there… on her?

“Chrissy,” Julie cooed as she stepped towards her and enveloped her in a tight hug. “Don’t overthink this. She loves you, and is so into you.” She chuckled and added, “You don’t see the way she looks at you when your head is turned. She’s hooked. Relax, have fun, and wear the thong!”

Tobin picked her up just after lunch and she blushed when she was dramatically offered a single red rose on her front porch.

“Tobs,” she cooed. “Thank you.”

“Anything for ma lady,” Tobin chuckled.

She laughed and leaned in to give Tobin a soft kiss hello. Like always, her girlfriend looked naturally attractive in ripped blue jeans and a t-shirt, her hair falling in soft waves down her shoulders. “You look really good,” she whispered. She nuzzled behind Tobin’s ear and breathed in the smell of her soap and shampoo.

Tobin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. “So do you. So pretty.”

Christen knew that there was nothing special about her outfit. Tobin had told her to dress comfortably so she was wearing black jeans and a black, crewneck sweater with a cropped shirt underneath. She had dressed it up with black boots. But Tobin would tell her that she was pretty while she was wearing a paper bag. 

She kissed the underside of Tobin’s jaw before she pulled back with a bright smile. “So, what are we doing today?”

“We’re going on a scavenger hunt!”

“A scavenger hunt?” Christen repeated, slightly confused.

Tobin nodded excitedly. “Uh huh! I planned it.” Tobin led her by the hand to the truck and courteously opened the door for her. “And our first stop is the park.”

With playful instructions from Tobin, Christen skipped to the bench in the park where they always sat to talk and found an envelope taped to the underside. This idea really pulled at her heartstrings and this bench was a cute idea for the first location. They had had several important conversations on this bench. She opened the envelope with a bright smile and read the clue that described a place where Tobin always felt “at home”.

“Well that’s easy,” she declared. “It’s a soccer field. You gonna tell me which one?”

“Read the rest of the card!”

“On the way there, talk about three things that you like about each other.” Christen rushed back towards Tobin and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “You’re just fishing for compliments today.”

Tobin grinned and kissed her back. “Tell me three things you like about me,” she whined playfully as she tugged on the sleeve of Christen’s sweater. 

“On the way there,” she teased back.

“Chris,” she responded, really dragging out the sound of the ‘s’.

“Fine,” she relented. She was only putting up a fight to get under Tobin’s skin. It was fun. “I like how open you are with your affection. I like the relationship that you have with your family and how important they are to you. And I like that you have such a kind heart.” She paused before she added with a raised eyebrow, “Should I continue?”

Tobin shrugged and tried to act unaffected. “I mean, if you want.”

She playfully pushed Tobin’s shoulder before she kissed her again. “It’s your turn to say nice things about me now.”

The soccer player dramatically rolled her eyes and entangled their fingers. “On the way,” she bargained.

Tobin took her sweet time deciding on three things that she liked about her, but it was totally worth it. With a sweet smile, Tobin said that she liked her dedication to school, her understanding and empathy, and how she stopped to smile and coo at every animal that she passed.

“And I kinda enjoy looking at you,” she added with a wink.

When they arrived at a soccer field not far from Tobin’s house, Tobin revealed that it was the soccer field where she had played her very first game at five years old. Tobin “found” a soccer ball underneath the small section of bleachers and began to juggle it between her feet.

Christen watched in awe before she lunged forward and kicked the ball away. She hadn’t played soccer in a very long time, but she remembered a thing or two. She chased after the ball, not at her full speed, and smiled triumphantly when she felt Tobin catch her with two arms around her waist.

“Hey,” Tobin breathed in her ear, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“Playing soccer?”

“You’re not playing very nicely.” Christen pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as Tobin nipped at her earlobe. She was about to speak again when her breath hitched as Tobin’s hands dragged across her stomach. “If you look closely at that soccer ball you’ll see another clue.”

Her eyes widened excitedly and she slowly leaned down to pick up the ball. She turned it in her hands until she found the white patch with black Sharpie marks.

It was a meticulously sketched map.

With the soccer ball still in her hands, they walked around Tobin’s neighbourhood and Tobin pointed out spots that revealed little stories and anecdotes from her early childhood to present day. It was the most thoughtful, planned out date that Christen had ever been on and she couldn’t believe that Tobin had put so much preparation and energy into it. For her. The description of butterflies in her stomach didn’t do what she was feeling justice.

The final clue led them to a restaurant for dinner where they had to order their favourite meal for the other person. It wasn’t a super fancy place, which Christen was thankful for based on what Tobin had asked her to wear, but it was nice and cozy, and supposedly famous for their milkshakes.

She ordered Tobin chicken tacos with a side of French fries, and a chocolate milkshake, and was happy when the girl across from her grinned excitedly.

“That’s an awesome meal,” Tobin commended before she placed an order for mac and cheese. “Oh! And a chocolate milkshake as well, please!”

Christen smiled cheerfully and brushed her foot against Tobin’s underneath the table. “Thanks for today. It was perfect.”

Tobin was practically bouncing in her seat. “It’s not over yet, well, not if you don’t want it to be.” She pushed her hair behind her ears and scratched the back of her neck, a dead giveaway that she was nervous about something. “Kelley gave me a key to her cousin’s house. She’s house sitting,” she explained slowly. “She said that we can stay the night. If we want. If you want.”

She knew exactly what Tobin was implying, and she appreciated the nervous tremor in her voice when she spoke. And she wanted to. God did she want to. So before she could overthink _everything_, she nodded adamantly. It would be easy to message Julie and set up a sleepover story so that her parents wouldn’t worry. In fact, Julie would probably be more than encouraging. 

“I want to,” she whispered.

Tobin gulped. “Okay, cool, okay, yeah.”

Christen giggled at Tobin trying to feign nonchalance and watched with satisfaction when she made the older girl flush.

After dinner, Tobin drove to Kelley’s cousin’s and they tentatively explored the small house. With every step, Christen felt her breathing pick up. Their purpose for being here was very clear. Uninterrupted alone time. She knew how this date was always going to end, that’s why she allowed Julie to talk her into changing her underwear. But now that an idea was a concrete reality, she was actively trying to stamp down her persistent inner monologue.

She stood staring at the bed in the middle of the room, with her bottom lip between her teeth, when she felt Tobin approach her. The older girl rested her chin on her shoulder and placed her hands on her upper arms. 

“What’s wrong?” Tobin asked as she kissed the side of her neck. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, of course not,” she answered adamantly. “You’re wonderful. This day has been wonderful.”

Tobin kissed the back of her neck, so softly, and rubbed her hands up and down her arms soothingly. “You’re shaking,” she whispered.

“I’m nervous,” she finally admitted.

“Why?”

Christen spun around to face Tobin and wrapped her arms around the soccer player’s broad shoulders. “I just…” She anxiously chewed on her bottom lip and stared at Tobin’s collarbone. “I just want everything to be so good for you. What if I’m not good for you?”

Tobin angled her head so that she met Christen’s eyes and answered, “You are so good for me. I already know that. I don’t need sex to tell me that.” She slowly leaned in and placed a tender kiss in the crook of her neck. “I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want that with you, but that’s not all I want.” She started to massage the back of Christen’s neck as she smiled, “I just know I’m not all that great with words and gestures and stuff, and I know I can show you how much I love you like this.”

Christen couldn’t stop herself from grinning as she held Tobin’s face in her hands. “I think you are actually pretty great with words and gestures, and _stuff_,” she teased. She trailed her hands slowly down Tobin’s arms until she held her hands. She started to walk back towards the bed, pulling Tobin along with her. She could feel her heart hammering against her rib cage, but she kept telling herself that it was a good thing. She was nervous, but she was excited. “I’m going to start to take my clothes off now,” she whispered.

Her hands fell to grasp the hem of her sweater, but Tobin stopped her. “Wait. I want to.”

She carefully guided her sweater over her head, followed by her top – she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath – and then Tobin was lifting her into her arms and settling her in the middle of the large bed.

She felt so safe, and cared for, and beautiful, as Tobin kissed down her abdomen and opened the button on her jeans. Tobin dragged her mouth along the waistband of her underwear and nipped at the sharp bones of her pelvis, like she had done many times before, but never with this much intensity. She could feel Tobin’s warm breath all across her body and it was making goosebumps erupt on her flesh. She tangled her fingers in Tobin’s long, soft hair and encouraged her wherever she wanted to go.

Seemingly out of the blue, Tobin lifted her head with a playful smile and nuzzled against her stomach. “I love your skin,” she murmured. “It’s so pretty and soft,” she sighed.

Christen smiled back at her and pushed her hair out of her face. “You make me shiver when you talk to me,” she admitted in a murmur.

Tobin groaned and pressed her face against Christen’s lower abdomen. “You really get me so hot.” She shifted into a position so that she was sitting back on her heels and she whipped her t-shirt over her head. Christen quickly reached out and ran her fingers over Tobin’s defined abdominals, producing even more sounds from the older girl. “Chris…”

“Yeah?” She gasped.

“I wanna take care of you,” she pleaded with big, brown eyes. “Please, let me just… God, I want to make love to you.” She dropped her hands to the top of Christen’s jeans and dug her fingers into the waistband. “Can I take these off, please?”

Christen just nodded and lifted her hips to help. She was completely mesmerized by the want in her girlfriend’s voice.

“This is pretty on you,” Tobin husked, referring to her panties once her jeans had been discarded.

“I wore it for you.”

Tobin froze, with her hands on Christen’s thighs, and then she slowly licked her lips. “That is sexy.” She groaned before she spoke again. “You are just so sexy.”

Christen knew that her body was flushed, and that she was soaked through her underwear, but it was hard to feel embarrassed when Tobin was looking at her like _that_.

Tobin stripped down to her form fitted boxer briefs and Christen welcomed her into the cradle of her hips. She ran her hands along the smooth skin of Tobin’s back as they kissed, and she arched and whimpered as Tobin strategically pressed down against her. The teasing friction was making her a little wild – and Tobin knew exactly what she was doing.

“Does that feel good?” The soccer player husked as she kissed down Christen’s neck.

Christen squeezed Tobin’s biceps, feeling the muscles beneath her fingers, and whispered back, “Yeah. So good.”

Tobin kissed her jaw sweetly. “If you don’t like something, just tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”

She nodded eagerly and closed her eyes as Tobin dragged her lips down her neck, over her breasts, and along her stomach. Her girlfriend gently, oh so gently, peeled the white lace down her hips and she kicked them the rest of the way off. A breath escaped her as Tobin slipped her left hand between her legs. She mewled into Tobin’s mouth as they kissed and shivered when Tobin slipped her other hand into her hair.

She could barely even think straight as Tobin touched her. All that she knew was that her tongue brushed into Tobin’s mouth, and she scratched at her skin, and everything that the older girl was doing felt so incredible. Her thumb attended to the sensitive bundle of nerves as two long fingers slowly pushed inside of her. Tobin developed a rhythm that was more than pleasurable, and that was before she found that spot inside of her that Bram had only ever found in her Biology textbook.

She nipped at Tobin’s bottom lip with her teeth and it was easy to tell that she was fighting a cocky grin.

“How is that?” Tobin asked breathlessly. “Still good?”

She moaned loudly and aggressively bucked her hips. “Tobs,” she gasped, “don’t stop, please. Please.” 

Tobin pushed her face into her neck and licked that sensitive spot that she had. “Never, baby.”

It didn’t take her very long to come at all – because she had never been touched like this before. She gripped Tobin’s lower back, just above her ass, with both of her hands and caught her bottom lip between her teeth to stop a girlish squeal from escaping the back of her throat.

She weakly raised a hand to tangle in Tobin’s hair as she felt the faint touch of Tobin’s lips on her shoulders and collarbone.

“I love you,” the soccer player whispered.

Christen laughed to herself and softly massaged Tobin’s scalp. “Yeah, I can tell,” she huffed. 

Tobin chuckled and brushed her hair out of her face. “How are you feeling? Are you too sensitive?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I feel great.”

“Okay.”

Christen was about to question why she would ask that before she watched a slow, salacious grin take over Tobin’s face. She pecked her lips, and then her chin, and ever so slowly slipped down her body.

“_Oh_.” Her legs fell open, as if comically tied to a switch, when Tobin’s mouth descended on her core. Tobin glanced up at her with twinkling, warm brown eyes and a smile that was a mixture of mischievous, fond, and lustful. She could tell that Tobin had been waiting months for this moment and it made her tremble. She had never felt so desirable before. It was powerful. “Tobs… oh my… _Toby_…” She struggled to form words as her hand found the top of Tobin’s head and she gripped the soft, fine hair between her fingers. She adored Tobin’s hair, but it was impossible to focus on even that. “Don’t… oh I’m so close again…”

Tobin’s tongue was absolutely relentless, and her hands caressed her thighs and hips in the most tender way. It told her that this was sexy and hot and everything that Tobin wanted, but that it was also much more than sex. It was the reassurance that she silently needed to let herself relax completely and orgasm with an intense arch of her back and a loud cry.

Christen giggled uncontrollably as Tobin peppered her face with kisses. They were under the bedsheets, sated and sweaty, with the older girl’s arms wrapped around her, and Tobin was being so snuggly and affectionate that she couldn’t stop herself from smiling, even if she wanted to.

Tobin finally relented with a laugh and pressed her nose against the hairline behind her ear. “Are you still okay?” She asked as she stroked Christen’s forearm with her fingertips. “Do you still feel good?”

“I feel amazing,” she answered honestly. She tilted her head backwards to allow Tobin to kiss her on the mouth. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“You don’t have to thank me. I hope that’s the low bar going forward,” she added with a chuckle.

Christen flushed hotly and rolled over so that she could cuddle into Tobin’s warm body. She softly kissed Tobin’s jaw before she murmured, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it getting any better.”

“Oh it gets so much better,” Tobin husked seductively. “There’s still so much I want to do to you.”

Christen shivered all the way down to her toes and wrapped her arms around Tobin’s back and up around her shoulders. She could quickly tell that Tobin was effected by their naked bodies pressed front to front. Tobin gently tucked her curly hair behind her ear and smiled softly before they kissed again. Christen tangled their legs together and opened her mouth to Tobin’s patient tongue.

This was so different from anything that she had experienced before. She never thought that sex could actually be like this. She thought it was saved for romantic comedies and corny television written for gullible teenagers. And yet, here she was, feeling like a romantic, gullible teenager. All because this girl, with her goofy personality and big smile, and feet that couldn’t stay still, was in love with her. So in love with her that Christen could feel it in every kiss. It was real and sincere, definitely overwhelming at times, but it made her feel really good. _Really good_. So good that the thought of Tobin finishing school and going off to college in a few months didn’t fill her with anxiety and dread. It was definitely a sense of security that she was not used to. She had worried about Bram going off to college before he had even started applying to schools. She had never felt quite comfortable with the idea, for whatever reason.

She pulled away slowly and deliberately brushed their noses together. With a smile, she whispered, “Where are you going to school next year?”

If Tobin was surprised by the change of topic, it didn’t show on her face. “UNC offered me a full scholarship. It’s the best soccer school in the country.”

“Have you ever been to North Carolina?”

Tobin nodded. “Yeah, I went out there for a visit last year.”

“I’ve never been,” she smiled as she trailed her fingers over every inch of Tobin’s skin that she could reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really want to write Tobin's POV on this, so perhaps we're looking at 22 chapters... Lol.


End file.
